[fallenangel337]

Mom and I were talking today, and a disturbing topic came up. I'll be honest, things are not going too well financially right now. So we were talking and she said if things keep going the way they are, I might have to stop seeing T.

This scares me so much, because I'm doing so much better now that I've started seeing her, and I don't want that progress to reverse itself, not to mention bring more problems because of termination. I'm scared this day really will come too soon, and I'm not ready for it at all.

Even I'm struggling to find a job at the moment...I would pay for my own T if I could find a job to pay for it. I'm just so scared right now about the possibility of me not being able to see T anymore.

[skeksi]

I would bring this up with your T. When I first began seeing my T, I said I was afraid to get in real deep with him because my insurance might run out and then I couldn't afford to keep coming. He said that once he was committed to working with me, he'd make sure we could continue. I know some people, during financial crises, see their T less frequently. Others see T with a reduced rate for a fixed period of time. There are ways to work with this. Check and see if that's possible, if things come to it.

[BlueMoon6]

I also would bring it up with t. When I was in college I saw my t for a sliding scale, then I couldnt afford even that and she saw me on the side in the hospital she worked in for a session and charged me $15 for the session. Your t sounds good, if you bring it up Im sure she will work it out so you can get the help you need.

(((((((((((((angel)))))))))))))))))

Chiming in to agree with Blue and skeksi...talk to T. She cares about you, and I bet she will try to help you find a solution

[fallenangel337]

The thing is....she's already seeing me for significantly less because of the insurance crap that's going on. Even with insurance, the copay is apparently becoming hard to manage.

[jexa]

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

The thing is....she's already seeing me for significantly less because of the insurance crap that's going on. Even with insurance, the copay is apparently becoming hard to manage.

(((fallen)))

That really really sucks. Financial stuff can be such a barrier to treatment.. therapy is a pretty big expense even with insurance. Like others said, maybe you could start seeing her less often, like every other week? Or talk with your mom about cutting other corners financially? Or really step up your game to find a job?

There's got to be a solution so your progress doesn't reverse itself! Even given the situation, I'd say talk with your T about it. Maybe she'll have ideas for you.

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by jexa

(((fallen)))

That really really sucks. Financial stuff can be such a barrier to treatment.. therapy is a pretty big expense even with insurance. Like others said, maybe you could start seeing her less often, like every other week? Or talk with your mom about cutting other corners financially? Or really step up your game to find a job?

There's got to be a solution so your progress doesn't reverse itself! Even given the situation, I'd say talk with your T about it. Maybe she'll have ideas for you.

I will try to talk to her. I already am seeing her every other week, so that's not something I can incorporate any further.

[sunrise]

fallenangel, that sounds very very hard. And very scary to feel that this decision is so out of your control.

If you can get an idea of how much your monthly T visits are costing (2 co-pays), maybe you could propose changes to save that much over a month. "To save $50 each month (or whatever 2 co-pays is), I will take the bus instead of driving, stop eating lunch out, and work a few hours a week at the fast food restaurant." Keep trying to find a job. It's hard out there, but some places would rather pay a student minimum wage than an older more experienced worker a higher rate. ARr there campus jobs available or a campus job board?

Can you explain more about the "insurance crap" that is going on? Are your parents thinking of dropping you from their plan and having you get the student insurance where you go to college instead? (Student plans like that often don't provide much for mental health services.)

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

This scares me so much, because I'm doing so much better now that I've started seeing her, and I don't want that progress to reverse itself

I think it is important that you let your parents know this. They may not see the "value" of therapy for you right now. They may not have detected the positive changes you are so aware of. Can you talk with them and tell them what is changing for the better for you? If I was thinking about discontinuing my daughter's therapy, and she came to me and said, "Mom, this is helping me so much. I am much better at doing X and Y since I started and now we are working on Z, which as you know I have a lot of trouble with. I really want to continue", then I would think twice about making her end therapy, even if it was a financial hardship. So I think talking with your parents about your benefits from therapy is very important. You can also tell them ways you will save money to help out. And if they see how important it is, they may decide they can cut back on expenses elsewhere to help out with the cost.

About a year ago my daughter wanted to quit therapy, she had me convinced she didn't need it anymore, wasn't benefiting anymore, had accomplished what she needed to, etc. I proposed she go every other week instead of quitting all at once. She wasn't too happy about that but agreed. Meanwhile, her therapist contacted me (with my D's permission), and I met with her. Her T really wanted my D to continue therapy and had good reasons for this--ruptures among other things. She convinced me to support my daughter in continuing therapy rather than support her in cutting back. As it turned out, her T was right. They are still together over a year later and doing well. Fallenangel, my point with this is, that it might even be helpful for your therapist to talk with your parents and give her professional opinion on why you should continue therapy with her (I am assuming she thinks you should). Parents may value it more if it comes from the mouth of a health professional, or at least it will confirm what their child is saying.

As others have said, also discuss this with your T. But don't leave your parents out of your plan on how to deal with this. There may be ways to get them on board with you, either through talking to them yourself about the value of therapy, or by your T also talking with them. If your T does talk with them, you can go over with her carefully what she will and won't talk about, so you can be assured she won't reveal any of the content of your therapy, which is confidential.

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by sunrise

fallenangel, that sounds very very hard. And very scary to feel that this decision is so out of your control.

If you can get an idea of how much your monthly T visits are costing (2 co-pays), maybe you could propose changes to save that much over a month. "To save $50 each month (or whatever 2 co-pays is), I will take the bus instead of driving, stop eating lunch out, and work a few hours a week at the fast food restaurant." Keep trying to find a job. It's hard out there, but some places would rather pay a student minimum wage than an older more experienced worker a higher rate. ARr there campus jobs available or a campus job board?

Can you explain more about the "insurance crap" that is going on? Are your parents thinking of dropping you from their plan and having you get the student insurance where you go to college instead? (Student plans like that often don't provide much for mental health services.)

I think it is important that you let your parents know this. They may not see the "value" of therapy for you right now. They may not have detected the positive changes you are so aware of. Can you talk with them and tell them what is changing for the better for you? If I was thinking about discontinuing my daughter's therapy, and she came to me and said, "Mom, this is helping me so much. I am much better at doing X and Y since I started and now we are working on Z, which as you know I have a lot of trouble with. I really want to continue", then I would think twice about making her end therapy, even if it was a financial hardship. So I think talking with your parents about your benefits from therapy is very important. You can also tell them ways you will save money to help out. And if they see how important it is, they may decide they can cut back on expenses elsewhere to help out with the cost.

About a year ago my daughter wanted to quit therapy, she had me convinced she didn't need it anymore, wasn't benefiting anymore, had accomplished what she needed to, etc. I proposed she go every other week instead of quitting all at once. She wasn't too happy about that but agreed. Meanwhile, her therapist contacted me (with my D's permission), and I met with her. Her T really wanted my D to continue therapy and had good reasons for this--ruptures among other things. She convinced me to support my daughter in continuing therapy rather than support her in cutting back. As it turned out, her T was right. They are still together over a year later and doing well. Fallenangel, my point with this is, that it might even be helpful for your therapist to talk with your parents and give her professional opinion on why you should continue therapy with her (I am assuming she thinks you should). Parents may value it more if it comes from the mouth of a health professional, or at least it will confirm what their child is saying.

As others have said, also discuss this with your T. But don't leave your parents out of your plan on how to deal with this. There may be ways to get them on board with you, either through talking to them yourself about the value of therapy, or by your T also talking with them. If your T does talk with them, you can go over with her carefully what she will and won't talk about, so you can be assured she won't reveal any of the content of your therapy, which is confidential.

My copay is $35, so $70 a month is a lot. I'm not spending any money, but since I don't have a source of income, there's not much I can do at the moment. There are some on-campus jobs, but to my knowledge, they are all full. I'm planning on swinging by the employment office tomorrow just to check, though. And I'm trying to take steps to save my parents money. I'm going to start seeing an on-campus (free) pdoc, and stop seeing my old one. That will save us at least one copay a month, which helps. I would like to continue seeing him, but right now, I have to give him up to make sure that I can continue seeing T. To be honest, he's a LOT more replaceable than T. in fact, I kinda feel like T is pretty much irreplaceable.

The deal with the insurance is that my provider sent my T and I both a letter saying I had something like 8 visits left this year that would be covered. So given that, T told me that she would continue to see me for the amount of my copay, which means she is already seeing me for significantly less. I'm still on my parent's insurance, so there's no trouble with that.

My parents are honestly SO supportive of my therapy. My family has commented several times how much improvement they've seen in me, and mom in particular knows about my SI and stuff, so she wants me to continue working on that, of course. It's not her fault at all...things are just really tight right now. She knows the good that therapy is doing for me, and I know that she totally supports me wanting to go and work on what I need to.

I already know that T is going to call my mom sometime about the insurance deal, and she's going to discuss our plan. I told her that is okay, so maybe you're right, and that will reinforce the idea that I'm benefiting from this. At this point, I'm honestly not too worried about what T will or won't say. I know it will be a strictly businessy-type call, plus, I'm 18, so she REALLY can't say anything to my mom.

Thank you so much for your reply.

[sunrise]

fallenangel, you sound really on top of things and your situation. (You are a really clear thinker--I am impressed!) I am really glad to hear your parents are aware of how helpful your therapy is and are so supportive of your continuing. I think that is so important to have them in your corner on this, and you do. And you are showing how cognizant you are of financial hard times by trying to save in other ways, such as switching to a free pdoc. As a parent, that counts for a lot in my book. When my kids act "entitled", then I stop wanting to do stuff for them (I know therapy isn't the same as buying them new shoes or handwashing their wool sweater, but I think you know what I mean), so a good attitude can be so helpful.

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

The deal with the insurance is that my provider sent my T and I both a letter saying I had something like 8 visits left this year that would be covered. So given that, T told me that she would continue to see me for the amount of my copay, which means she is already seeing me for significantly less.

I guess I don't understand because if you have 8 visits left this year that are being covered by insurance and you are seeing your T every other week right now, then you have more than enough insurance-covered visits to last you through the year. So this is a good thing, and it is all taken care of? I also don't understand what you mean about your T would see you for the amount of the co-pay. You pay the co-pay and the insurance pays the rest, correct? That is standard and it sounds like you have enough covered visits to last you through the year. Win-win for both you and your therapist. I don't understand why your T has agreed you will pay her less than she should get when you have enough insurance visits left. I think I have not understood!

I already know that T is going to call my mom sometime about the insurance deal, and she's going to discuss our plan. I told her that is okay, so maybe you're right, and that will reinforce the idea that I'm benefiting from this.

I think that's great your Mom and T are communicating, and I'm sure it will help. Will your Mom share with your T that you do have more than enough covered visits left for this year?

At this point, I'm honestly not too worried about what T will or won't say. I know it will be a strictly businessy-type call, plus, I'm 18, so she REALLY can't say anything to my mom.

She can say whatever you give her permission to say. It is all under your control.

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by sunrise

fallenangel, you sound really on top of things and your situation. (You are a really clear thinker--I am impressed!) I am really glad to hear your parents are aware of how helpful your therapy is and are so supportive of your continuing. I think that is so important to have them in your corner on this, and you do. And you are showing how cognizant you are of financial hard times by trying to save in other ways, such as switching to a free pdoc. As a parent, that counts for a lot in my book. When my kids act "entitled", then I stop wanting to do stuff for them (I know therapy isn't the same as buying them new shoes or handwashing their wool sweater, but I think you know what I mean), so a good attitude can be so helpful.

Thank you...that really means a lot to me for you to say.

Originally Posted by sunrise

I guess I don't understand because if you have 8 visits left this year that are being covered by insurance and you are seeing your T every other week right now, then you have more than enough insurance-covered visits to last you through the year. So this is a good thing, and it is all taken care of? I also don't understand what you mean about your T would see you for the amount of the co-pay. You pay the co-pay and the insurance pays the rest, correct? That is standard and it sounds like you have enough covered visits to last you through the year. Win-win for both you and your therapist. I don't understand why your T has agreed you will pay her less than she should get when you have enough insurance visits left. I think I have not understood!

I got the letter saying that I had 8 visits a month ago. (Not to mention the letter was sent a month late...) So as of now, I'm close to the end of what's allowed, if not completely done with the insurance company for the year. So that's when T stepped in and said that she'd continue seeing me for my copay, and without reimbursement on her part.

I think that's great your Mom and T are communicating, and I'm sure it will help. Will your Mom share with your T that you do have more than enough covered visits left for this year?

Mom and T both know all about the insurance deal. T got the same letter, and I've been communicating the details between the two of them. So everyone's pretty much on the same page with everything.