[turquoisesea]

Background - I posted last week in this forum about what happened between my current T and me. I have gained practically nothing from therapy with her other than a false sense of security and someone to write a note to school. Which is important but not great. (not important but here's the thread neways http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=117143)

I am on the search for a new T. I want one that knows alot about Depression and Dissociation, because those are my biggest problems.
The list of actual therapists that do both is slim. Especially if I narrow it down to people in a 15 minute radius with evening availability.

Any suggestions in how to choose a new T? I really want a T I can TRUST, someone who cares, but how do you look for that in a T???

I'm scared to even try to trust a new T but I need therapy....


note: even though I'm very overwhelmed to find a new T, I am also hopeful that I can find one that will actually HELP me =)

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

Background - I posted last week in this forum about what happened between my current T and me. I have gained practically nothing from therapy with her other than a false sense of security and someone to write a note to school. Which is important but not great. (not important but here's the thread neways http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=117143)

I am on the search for a new T. I want one that knows alot about Depression and Dissociation, because those are my biggest problems.
The list of actual therapists that do both is slim. Especially if I narrow it down to people in a 15 minute radius with evening availability.

Any suggestions in how to choose a new T? I really want a T I can TRUST, someone who cares, but how do you look for that in a T???

I'm scared to even try to trust a new T but I need therapy....


note: even though I'm very overwhelmed to find a new T, I am also hopeful that I can find one that will actually HELP me =)

((((Turqouise))))

I've had some negative experiences with mental health professionals in the past, so I know how bad that feels. It's like being taken advantage of in a way. Fortunately, I did not give up on finding one that would be helpful, which is how I ended up with the awesome T that I have today. I took a leap of faith, called them up and made an appointment. I learned of this T through someone I knew who saw him some 15 years or so ago. I later discovered that a friend of mine had also seen the same T and had the same high opinion of him that I did.

Before this T, I just went down the phonebook and made appointments for therapists who have experience in diagnosing and treating adults with ADHD. I feel your pain---that list was SHORT in my area. The only way to get a feel of a therapist is to speak with them. You've got to like the therapist first, at least to some extent, and probably come to more than one appointment in order to evaluate your comfort level and ascertain if the T helpful and a good fit. "Subject to Change My Mind At Any Time" is a good motto. You don't "owe" your T anything at all. If you see red flags, don't ignore them. I'm big on asking questions if I am at all confused or wondering why my T said or behaved in XYZ manner. I also tend to trust my feelings most of the time. Notice I said "MOST" of the time---sometimes anxiety tries to take over, which you need to be on the lookout for. Anxiety tries to get you to do things out of irrational fears, so you just have to examine your emotions to determine if it is anxiety telling you the T is wrong, or if facts support your feelings that you should move on to a better T.

Really, you just have to evaluate if your T is helpful or not as you go along. I remember some T's I called to setup an initial appointment really rubbed me the wrong way on the phone (some sort of red flag popped up immediately), so I didn't make an appointment. Other times, I went to a T a few times, but during the course of therapy something wasn't working and I knew it definitely had to do with the T's skillset, and not my perception alone.

Heck, there was this one Pdoc I saw one time only, and I had an unsettling feeling about him even before I went to the initial appointment as the secretary made clear that the Pdoc kept TWO DOGS in his office DURING APPOINTMENTS!!! Talk about unprofessional. As I was a little desperate feeling at the time, I went to the initial appointment, hoping I was wrong and that he would be helpful. Boy, I sure was WRONG about that!!! It wasn't that I didn't have an open mind, the dude was just a real super-jerk, so much so that I ended up walking out of his office during the appointment. He yelled after me in the door frame "And Don't Come Back!". Talk about a child--I was nothing but polite to the guy. Since he felt offended that I had walked away from his insensitive rudeness before he formally ended the session (authoritative control freak-flag! ), he followed me to the office clerk when I checked out and announced to everyone in the room that he thought I was DANGEROUS and that I "NEEDED HELP" and that I was "VERY SICK". I asked him, "Sick with what?" to which he replied "I don't know, but you are very sick, dangerous, and you need help". I just laughed at him and shook my head, thanking GOD that I had an excellent therapist who wouldn't believe that crap.

Word to the wise: I filled out paperwork to have him send my records to my therapist (that way I wouldn't have to do battle with him to obtain them), that way he would have to explain why he thought that I was "dangerous" and "sick". Having your Pdoc or T send records to another clinician instead of to you directly is one way of avoiding stress---a clinician has no choice under federal law but to send all of your records to the clinician of your choice (they can deny to send a copy of your records to you if they think the records will be in whole or in part "harmful" to YOU, but not to any clinician that you direct him to).

I told my T about the Pdoc (who of course believed me), who has known me for going on 3 years now, and we read the record of the visit that he sent over and had a good laugh. We both decided that any professional who keeps dogs in his office during sessions with patients is probably a good warning sign to stay away. Lesson learned.

Turquoise, if you learn to trust your feelings and ask questions of potential new T's, then you can avoid the trap of spending significant time and energy with a T who ultimately can't help you--and that's not the fault of the patient, but the fault of the T; a good T who recognizes that he can't help you because he lacks the skillset will REFER YOU to someone who can. Remember---trust is earned, it's not freely given. If your not feeling it, you probably have a good reason to feel that way.

[jexa]

((turquoise))

I'm so sorry you've had such terrible experiences.

One thing that helped me this last time was only going a T who would contact me herself before the initial appointment to answer any questions and concerns I had before starting. My current T is so wonderful and helpful and she called me back the night after I called and was very open to answering my questions.

Another thing -- looking up a T that specializes in dissociation might give you limited results only because dissociation isn't really a common specialty. If you have trauma-related dissociation a T that specializes in PTSD/trauma will likely know what to do with dissociation. You can ask those Ts on the phone if they can help with a client who dissociates.

(((((((((((((((turquoisesea))))))))))))))))

I read your other thread about what happened with your t....I'm sorry you felt so uncared for.

I found my T through the psychology today website. They have a really cool "find a therapist" function on there. It might be hard to find someone who specializes in dissociation, but my guess is that if you find someone who specializes in trauma (much easier to find, I would guess), that person would be able to work with dissociation as well. My T specializes in trauma, and I am dissociative, and it works.

When I was looking for a T, I narrowed it down to a couple and then called and talked to them. Most T's will spend a few minutes on the phone with you. I think I talked to my T THREE TIMES before I ever scheduled a session!!! I could tell from the phone calls that he was the guy for me.

Good luck, Turquoisesea!

[turquoisesea]

I just wanted to say thank you everyone before I hit the hay tonight, your replies have all really helped