Art Therapy within Talk Therapy

oh cool how exciting.

Here's the report:

I took in the collage and showed T. She seemed to really like it - she remarked that there was so much to look at (I told you, it's big!). She commented that she's seeing me on Wednesday and asked if she could keep it so she can look at it between now and Wednesday to absorb it. I said sure, she could keep it. She said she wanted to look at all the pictures right now, but that she wasn't yet looking at the phrases, though she could see a lot of pain on there. Before we put it away, she asked me to go through the photos and tell her who was who, so she'd know when she looks at it by herself. And then after we put it away, she asked me what it was like making it, what came up for me - she remarked that it's a good celebration of my life. I said it shows my past, present and future, and that it gave me hope - I put on there what I want, and I also put on there where I am now and what I'm doing to get what I want, and that felt hopeful.

So now T has it, and she's going to look at it without me sitting there watching her! That means she's gonna have some good questions all ready for me on Wednesday, yikes! Of course, she doesn't know the stories behind a lot of those pictures, so I'm sure we'll go over all that on Wednesday. I'm glad I took it into T, and I'm pleased that she wanted to keep it and look over it, but it is kinda daunting to have her keep something so personal of mine, especially because she shares her office with her husband... and I think I passed him coming in as I was leaving! I really hope she doesn't show it to him, that was meant for her eyes only.

Thanks again for all the encouragement, and I'll be sure to post how it goes on Wednesday!

DREAMSEEKER!!
That's awesome!
Thanks for the update, it was great to read and put a smile on my face.

How exciting that your T liked it so much and took so much interest in it!

I'm sure she will respect your confidentiality, and not show it to her H.

I had mixed feelings about my T keeping the images I bring to therapy. That first drawing, after my T recovered from the shock, the session was over and she asked if she could keep it until our next session. I didn't know what to say to that..it hadn't occured to me that she might want to keep it. Since then she has kept the drawing I've brought. At one point I freaked out thinking about what is in my file and asked her to destroy them. She said she would not destroy them but if I wanted them back all I needed to do was ask for them.

Dream! Thanks for the update! I'm so glad you have such a good T. It's clear she cares very much for you and takes a special interest in you. I'm sure she will respect your confidentiality. I would be nervous about my T having something so personal of mine as well -- but it sounds like your T is very trustworthy.

Let us all know how it goes on Wednesday!

I can understand those mixed feelings, chaotic! I'm definitely going to get this collage back, though, because it has some photos on it that I don't have extra copies of, and they're very important to me - so T doesn't get to keep this! Plus, I don't think she'd want to keep it forever - it's big, and her office isn't so big!
Thanks, jexa - that made me tear up a bit,to think of T caring for me!

Glad I could help you smile, ktgirl!

wow dream that is fantastic - yay for you being so brave and yay for T

wow thats great you showed T! I would feel kinda weird about her keeping it for a while but i think she just keeping it so she can really see it and think about it.

This is what I brought in to my T. Sorry its so big! I don't know how to make it smaller.

wow velcro! that is so cool. i really like what you wrote too.

Until I got my digital drawing tablet-have I mentioned how much I love that little investment in myself :-) my drawings were pencil sketches. At first I was glad to get rid of them because to me they were evidence that I was insane. They were safer being held by my t. Especially when H started rooting through my personal belonging when I was not home.

The funny thing is I THINK my T might have written notes on some of them as I was talking them LOL. I know she's dated them. I don't really care though, even if I do get them back at some point, the will never be seen by others or displayed.

Something interesting happened with my most recent share some that of you may related to. My "art" has become a lot more detailed and colorful since going digital.I brought one item in 2 weeks ago and... Well my inner child was very upset about the share. Not about the share itself but the way the image printed. The colors and other features didn't make the transition from the millions of color pixels to what ever my cheap the printer can create. The rest of me felt, "who cares its just a conversation starter for therapy not an art gallery display..LOL" I think my inner child is getting very picky about how her feelings are expressed.

I agree. After thinking it over last night, I appreciate the fact that T wants to spend her own time really taking it all in, because it is a lot to absorb, and that T wants to be ready to discuss it with me on Wednesday, because obviously I'm ready to discuss it since I made it and know everything on there!

velcro, that is beautiful - thank you for sharing! Love the reds and the yellow writing, and I love what you wrote.

phoenix, LOL at the dancing chilis - fun!
chaotic, that's so interesting to me. I was so excited to show T my collage, and then I felt a letdown after she looked at it and we put it away. I didn't understand why - I could tell she was excited, she was very cute how she had a big smile when she asked me, "Can I keep it?" And she really wanted to look at all the pictures, she had me tell her who everyone was. But I think my inner child wanted to go over it all right then and not wait 2 more days! And then thinking about it this morning, I felt like I put too much on the collage, or maybe I shouldn't have made it after all - I'm completely doubting myself. Of course, I'm sure this ties in with yesterday's discussion about my childhood and particularly my relationship with my mother - that brought up a lot of feelings for my inner child, but I wasn't voicing those feelings in session, I was being very adult and just reporting. So my inner child wasn't being heard, and now she's not happy! And, as I did when I was a child when I wasn't happy, I'm turning that anger inward, so I'm feeling rather sad today. At least this should be good fuel for tomorrow's discussion on the collage! And I'll make more of an effort to let my inner child be heard tomorrow.

Thanks guys!

Velcro- This is a very powerful statement and the feelings behind it. I could spend a lot of time looking at it. Thank you for sharing it.
Can I aks? What materials did you use?

Dream- I am sorry I just found this thread now. I am really sorry . But I think you are very brave to bring the collage into your t. I havent brought artwork in, but I have brought in long things I have written that I never intended for anyone to read- memories and experiences. It felt very naked to have my t read it while I was right there in the room. I wanted to tell her to read it while I will leave the rooom for a minute. I watched her face so carefully for what she might be thinking while reading it. I really felt exposed in a way I didnt mean to be.
I agree, you have a very caring t who shows a very dear interest in your feelings and who you are. You are very special to her Cant wait to hear how it goes on wed!

Chaotic- About the printing of your work. Id feel the same way. I did some photography, and Id be upset, too, if it didnt print the way it looked on the screen. When it comes to things like that, I can compulsively go over and over an image to get exectly what I want. And if it doesnt print right...ahhhhh!
I can understand the let down after the collage was put away. I felt that way, too, after something I wrote was put down. It has my heart and soul in it, and we just put it down. I dont know, I felt maybe dismissed or abandoned (no surprise there). My soul has been abandoned. Sounds strange, but on a feeling level, maybe that was it (I mean, for me, maybe for you?)

Blue, I think we posted in each other's threads at the same time! I'm typing from my new phone, so I can't figure out how to do the emoticons, but hugs to you!

I'm sorry you felt dismissed or abandoned. I think I just felt disappointed that I had to wait 2 more days to go over my creation with T. Of course, now I am glad that T respects me enough to take her own time, and not my session time, to really study it and think of questions. T told me last week that she sometimes feels like she needs to give me immediate answers to some tough questions that I ask, but that she should really think about some questions before rushing to respond. So I think maybe T is putting that into practice now. But now I find myself getting nervous, thinking about what T might ask me tomorrow! I am also feeling very emotional, like it took me awhile to realize just how open I was in sharing this with T, what a big deal this really is to me. T noted that she saw a lot of pain on the collage. I have a feeling tomorrow may be a really emotional session. I'm going to try my best to be open to whatever comes up for me.

Dreamseeker,

I am so thrilled that you took your collage in and showed your therapist. I'm sure it will prompt alot of important and meaningful discussions in your therapy. I also know the disappointed feeling of having to put things away, when I'd rather stay there with t and continue exploring things with her. It's sometimes so hard to wrap things up and then have to wait until the next session.

Hey blue!
It is acrylic paint, a gel medium (what FEAR is written in), collage pieces from a magazine, and the maeker is a sharpie poster paint pen!

I actually have a blog where I show off my journal entries http://catharticcreativity.blogspot.com

Of course only a few close friends know about it in real life!

My T looked at it with me, read the quote, and then goes "ok, I want you to read it to me" it was hard! I don't like reading stuff out loud in there.

slight hijack: while i haven't been doing any design work for awhile it's all about calibrating your devices. calibrate the monitor in photoshop (if you have it) and the printer and you'll get pretty good results even with home printers. with some printers you can also adjust the colors manually. it's not hard--just follow your manual's directions. it makes a big difference. also, you might want to look into if converting your docs to cmyk prints them better. sorry, i can't remember if that works for digital devices too or just offset.

Yes I admit I now get caught up in specific things like color, etc. Honestly I think it is part of how my ego states express themselves. Color seems to be really important to the small child. Also, once I brought in my actual computer in an attempt to share with my T how my images are created. I think after the initial sketch... A lot of processing happens as different ego states surface and add there perspective. One thing I like about computer drawing is being about to use different layers. This way you don't have to loose what was previously created. I can just an a layer and edit that way. In the end the image can be morphed by altering which layers are visible. I'm not a real artist but I have a lot of fun playing with these features. I can only imagine what professionals can do.

Good point about calibrating my printer. I haven't done that since I upgraded my computer. I'm cheap though photoshop is too expensive. I use GIMP as my drawing program. Its FREE and does most of what photoshop does.