One thing I learned from T.....

So I am preparing to end therapy in a few weeks as I am moving out of the area. I will pick up with a new T (freaking out about that) when I get to my new location but I'd kinda like to be able to tell that T what me and my T worked on and what I learned. What instantly popped into my head regarding lessons T taught me was that T is inevitably always right! No matter how I argue, disagree, kick, scream, etc, she's right.

But seriously, I was wondering what one thing you all have learned from therapy. If you could pass one lesson on to someone else, what would it be??

I guess therapy has taught me that it's okay to pay attention to myself, to spend time and money taking care of myself. That self-care is not selfish. That was a really important lesson to learn.

similar to jexa, my therapy taught me that i need to take care of myself....

my therapy has taught me that its ok to let others care for me. And closeness doesn't equal danger.

If I had to pick one thing, which is very hard to do, I'd say I learned that it is okay to be myself. I don't have to be like anyone else, or compare myself to others. I just have to be comfortable being me.

My number 1 lesson--which I'm still trying to learn--is that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm okay.

That I matter enough to be listened to with full and caring attention.

Learned that I did not have to worry so much what other people thought of me, so long as I lived up to my standards. If I got paranoid about others' judgements of, I was to say to myself, "Billie, some people are just stupid. You have to overlook them. They can't help it."

Only one lesson? That's tough!

Right now, where I'm at in my therapy journey - the one lesson is that it's okay to let others take care of me, I don't have to feel guilty if I let that happen sometimes. That was a big one for me!

that "I can do it!"

That im not superwoman lol I wanted to protect everyone everywhere after i was attacked and it wore me out - T taught me that i have to look after myself first and save the world later lol

great thread

awesome thread, gravyyy!! thank you for starting it (and LOL - yes, you are right about that lesson. definitely something every client needs to learn ).

i am still trying to learn my main therapy lesson, even after 5 years (i'm a slow learner !), but it echoes what crystal wrote:
my addition would be that distance doesn't equal hate.

I've learned that I'm really a good person and I can stand up for myself.

Hard question, picking just one..... keep in mind that I am more on the way into therapy, not on the way out, but so far I guess I've learned that all the stigma is just so much hot air. Therapy is not about selfishness and self pity, on the contrary it is much harder work than I ever imagined, but I l(ike most people) have found a kindly and wise guide, who is there for me even when the going gets rough.
Socrates was right, the unexamined life is not worth living. It is precious beyond describing to be able to stand up at last as a human being full of insight, compassion and health.

Oh - and don't wait too long to get started.

Thank you everyone so much for your responses. I realize we are all coming from different backgraounds with different reasons for being in therapy and this is awesome for me to see that I really am not alone in this; that what I am learning is what you all are learning. I know I don't post in the psychotherapy forum much, but I spend a lot of time in here and always appreciate everyone's comments and posts. You all are the best!!!!

Great thread, Gravyyy, Thanks!

There are so many, but to choose one, Id say that my journey doesnt have to look like anyone else's. That I am OK traveling the road that is for me.

Hmm. I guess I'm the oddball who feels that what I've learned in T is how incredibly screwed up my life has been. I guess it's good to recognize that so I can work on being healthier psychologically. I feel like I still have a loooong way to go.

I learned that I'm a very hopeful person who believes in the basic goodness of other human beings and who believes in the infinite potential in just about everything and everyone...including me.

I love this thread!

Probably the first big thing I learned is that it's okay to let other people help me; I don't have to do everything by myself.

Right now I'm think I'm learning that it's okay to take care of MYSELF. To be gentle with myself, to give myself the same grace I give everyone else. If that lesson sinks in, that will be huge.

not an oddball (((mixedup))). i needed to have things pointed out to me, repeatedly, before it registered. and then i went into full interrogation mode - trying to quantify just how screwed up it was.

it was an important part of helping me get to where i am today. and it felt good to know if was a life circumstance, and not me per se, that was screwed up. always easier to fix "external" things.

Great thread. For me, I have learned to have more patience with myself and with others, and how to be emotionally supportive of others. When my T treats me that way, she models it for me, and I think it helps me be able to treat others that way. Like prior to that, I didn't know how, I just did what I knew without self-reflection. Now I'm seeing other options for handling things. Also, helping me see the good in other people, that when they're acting badly it's sometimes from a place of hurt, so not just writing them off as bad or mean. Finally, when faced with two options, choosing the optimistic approach because, why not? Being pessimistic isn't going to change the outcome or make the journey any better, and might be a total waste of energy.

I agree with Deli, Mixedup. You can't heal and move forward without recognizing and believing where you came from. If you're minimizing what's gone on in your past, how can you grow and improve in the future? It doesn't make you an oddball, it makes you really, really, smart. Thanks for your post!

Goodness notme!! I love the statement "learn to have more patience with myself and others." It's something I need to learn as well, but it seems so profound to see it written here the way you presented it. Thanks for that!!

(((((((((((((((((MUE)))))))))))))))))) Things had to get worse for me before they started to get better. I couldn't heal until I could admit and accept the things that had happened in my life.

You are on the path

Notme- I really like this. It is also true for me. When patience and support is modeled for me, I am more likely to be that way with myself...and with my children. I cant count the number of times I have chosen to act with my kids the way a (any) t has treated me.

Yes- I also feel this way. The more insight I have into my own behvior, the more compassion I have for others.