[Christina86]

That is what I am, especially seeing as I've got therapy on Tuesday. I've had two entire weeks to think about the homework she's given me - and I just haven't.

Mostly because I think it's a bunch of bull ****, but let's not tell her that, ok?

I'm supposed to figure out how other people view me, by looking at me through their eyes. Need to figure out my good qualities. I see this all as a waste of time because I *KNOW* what some of my good qualities are, I just don't always *believe* they're good qualities to have!

What should I be doing? Making a list of adjectives that describe me as a person? I'm supposed to keep them to positive qualities ONLY, but it's so hard to determine whether one quality is good or bad because some of them seemingly seem to be both at the same time.

[Hearty]

I just viewed your profile, and I think you're AWESOME!

Sobriety Date: July 20th, 2008
Self-Injury Stop Date: February 20th, 2007

I see a very courageous and caring person. Be good to yourself.

[Miracle1986]

You are awesome, caring, compassionate, a great friend.

[googley]

When I try to do activities like this I work on it from another point of view. I look at my friends and see what good qualities they have. Then I ask myself if I think that they would say that I have those qualities also. I find it easier because I believe and know that they are good qualities that my friends have. Then I don't have to worry about throwing negative things into the mix. But I think that even if negative things get into the mix (or those that are dependent on situation) that is okay. You can go over all of them and why they came up with your T. Good luck.

[Indie'sOK]

I agree with morningcalm - that is amazing! You are a very strong person, and these dates prove it

[ECHOES]

Maybe think if it as why your friends choose you as a friend. What do you bring to their lives? What do you have in common with them that makes the friendship deeper? Or are there ways you complement one another--where your friend has a weakness in an area that you have a strength. What do they look forward to when they are going to see you or talk to you?

[Melbadaze]

i'd be more inclined to think about how i'm feeling rather than how anyone else views me...how anyone views me is none of my buisness...and i'm sure everyone filters another through their own lenses and how they are coloured depends on whats going on for them...No

[Elysium]

Originally Posted by Christina86

What should I be doing? Making a list of adjectives that describe me as a person? I'm supposed to keep them to positive qualities ONLY, but it's so hard to determine whether one quality is good or bad because some of them seemingly seem to be both at the same time.

(((((Christina)))))

So is that not okay? For a quality in you to be both good and bad? And is it really fair to judge yourself like this? What if we changed it to say endearing qualities and less endearing qualities?

I can understand where you are coming from because I do the same type of things to myself too. And it's always easier to give someone else advice than it is to take a dose of our own. But it's like I've learned in the past...it's a dialectic. There are nice qualities and not so nice qualities about each and every person.

This is a difficult exercise to do. Maybe, if you can allow yourself to focus on the more endearing qualities that you hold...at some point you could attempt to see how the less endearing qualities are part of what make you who you are and that even though they may be less endearing (according to whoever?), this doesn't necessarily make them bad qualities.

Good and bad is so black and white. You're not perfect...and that's okay. Live your life in color!!

[Christina86]

You're all too kind, thanks for the words of advice and support.

I wish I knew where T was going with all of these seemingly random "homework" assignments. She didn't say they were mandatory, but if I don't do them... I wonder what would happen.

Last session talking about fear, this session talking about positive qualities...

At least she swore she wouldn't do CBT on me. We had that discussion before, and the thought of it drives me bonkers. (I already intellectualize too much and I'm just not ready to deal with my bazillion cognitive distortions head-on!)