I am..

I am having a bit of a hard time. I don't want to sit and complain so I'll try to make this short. Basically I'm diagnosed right now, with Paranoid Schizophrenia, and I am on 200mg dose of my meds. (There's a reason I pointed that out) They are anxiety and not anti-psychotics which I probably need from what has been pointed out to me a lot as paranoid/delusional thoughts. And then I feel like people are saying it out of spite, which I guess is paranoid in its self.... Terribly confused.

This morning my partner decided that perhaps it wasn't good to be with me. I pull him down, I'm hard to deal with, and I'm a liar because I can't express my emotions clearly.

This was difficult enough to deal with on little sleep and paranoid thoughts. But then today I get a letter through the post saying that my psychiatric team has discharged me. I felt...shock. No one had given me any warning at all, no one had called me, they even got the dose of my meds wrong! (200mg was changed to 75!!) I'm incredibly hurt. Granted I missed my last 2 appointments but I called and explained that it was incredibly hard for me to leave the house and if I could have an email/talk on the phone/have a home visit, it would be easier. They refused all three suggestions (well the receptionist did). And then they discharge me? I don't understand what I've done wrong, and I feel so abandoned and like they are pretty much saying, hey you're never getting better any way.

They never offered me therapy, they don't know the dose of my meds, they tried to change my diagnoses before they even had a conversation with me, he degraded me by telling me who I was and what I am, because he knew because he read diary entries of mine that are 5 years old, I was 15 for blimey sakes, childish you say? hells yeah I was a child!! I'm so hurt and I really don't know what to do, where to turn, who to talk to.

I don’t know what to say other that “abandoned”…you bet! I don’t understand what these so called medical professionals are thinking when they expect people suffering from such an illness to be able to keep all of their appointments without any difficulty at all. And the fact that you called explaining your situation and they did nothing but toss you to the curb disturbs me even more.

I share the same diagnosis as you and know it is sometimes damn hard if not impossible to walk out the front door let alone go through the motions of an appointment with the completely oblivious, ignorant wipes that call themselves health care professionals. The fact is they have no clue particularly the “office staff”. I apologize for going off. Can you tell I’ve had my own negative experience with this lot?

I hope there is a way you can at least find a therapist or someone to talk to. These boards are a nice starting point I think anyway.

I wish you much peace.

MickG - You're post really hit home for me. I find it so very very hard to walk out of the door. To do it is like this huge achievement, as sad as that is lol I don't know what days I'm not going to be with it, and what days I am. And they booked my appointments months in advance so there was no way of telling.

And the appointments just make you feel crap. I felt like I was being spoken to as if they knew more about me than I did. Granted I'm very quiet with strangers, and have huge trust issues, and this was a big factor towards them. And they made it worse, because when I turned up there they said, we don't really deal with psychosis here, and it's been recommended we change you to BPD. I was like .... where on earth did THAT come from? I convinced them that I was NOT BPD and my whole record of files completely proved it. They shoot missiles from all angles, and I can't dodge them. This one was such a huge blow.

It apparently came from their hind end. That is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard.

Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to seek out someone else, someone who is capable of helping you. I know it will be difficult but it took me many tries before finding a therapist I was reasonably comfortable with and I’m still trying to find a psychiatrist that is a good fit. I thought I had one but he had to move on so I was stuck with a colleague I wasn’t too comfortable with. I’m still working on it though.

Yes this is only a chance for a fresh start, a new place, and new system that works for me. They did not work for me. Thank you so much for your words, they are very relatable and so uplifting.

As difficult as the situation is for you, it sounds like in some sense they did you a favor by discharging you. It sounds like this outfit is not one that would help you. Good luck! Hang in there!

What a painful time for you.

??? They changed your diagnosis solely to fit their area of expertise?!
Well then I think they did you a favor to free you to find help that will actually be help.
Find the therapy that you would like to have. Hard as it is right now, vow to get through this and move past it to something much better. Hard as it is right now, tell yourself lightly, Well good grief--that wasn't what I needed! and begin the next chapter.

You can do this

Yeah just... This is England, NHS, you get what you're given and as that is the place nearest me...that's what I'm given. Like my doctors sugery, but let's not even get into that one

Sometimes something was just better than nothing