Losing Hope; Feeling Rejected by T

sunrise · Dec 08, 2009, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peaches100

I'm not sure if she was thinking i'd do both at the same time. . .but i could never afford to do that.

What you might be able to do is to do every other week SE therapy and every other week your regular therapy. That way they are more integrated and your T can help you process the SE. I did this sort of alternation when I began doing couples therapy. I still needed individual therapy to help process the couples, so I alternated every other week. It worked well enough. I could not have afforded to do two different types of therapy each weekly.

Quote:

The first time she mentioned this therapy (back in Feb.), I contacted an SE therapist, who told me i'd have to commit to at least 10 weeks with her. So that would be at least that long, and maybe more, that i would not be seeing my t.

If you alternate, you can still commit 10 weeks to the SE--just not 10 consecutive weeks--but not have to go that long without seeing your own T. There are lots of solutions. Also, if this particular SE therapist does not suit your needs, you can always call another one to find someone more flexible. (Your own T might know SE therapists she prefers to work with.) Actually, I think it is a little odd (worrisome?) for a T to ask anyone to commit to 10 sessions. On all the informed consent forms for therapy that I have seen, it states very clearly that the client is there voluntarily and may leave at any time. There is no commitment to do a minimum number of sessions.

peaches, I think a small first step might be to learn more about SE therapy and discuss it with your T--its pros and cons, what is involved, the actual techniques, why she thinks it would help, etc. Perhaps your T could provide the education and point to good resources for you to learn more. If it were me, I might find this less threatening then going to see a new practitioner before I even knew if this therapy was something that appealed to me or that I thought could help.

I think it is OK to just take things slow regarding the idea of doing SE. Sometimes my T has brought up topics or ideas I found very threatening or scary on some unconscious level, and I have abruptly changed the topic and not been able to talk about it for several sessions. I needed some time to process it on my own before he and I could discuss it. He was always very patient. (Or at least he acted that way.

)

rainbow8 · Dec 09, 2009, 07:01 PM

(((Peaches))),

Sorry I didn't post in this thread. I assume you've had your session today. How did it go? I hope you cleared up the issue with your T and that you feel better.

TayQuincy · Dec 10, 2009, 10:27 PM

Peaches, how are you doing? Have you had a chance to talk with t yet?

peaches100 · Dec 14, 2009, 11:14 AM

I know I haven't responded to all the posts yet, but i wanted to give an update since I had my session last Wednesday. . .

When my t came out to the waiting room to get me, she looked sort of distressed and when we got ready to do our breathing exercise we always do, she said “I feel like I should ask if it’s OK to sit near you.” I told her it was fine for her to move up. So we did the exercise and then chatted a tiny bit. I think she was expecting me to be really angry with her, but I'd had time to calm down and get my bearings by then.

She asked me, “How did you feel about my phone message?” I said, “Well, it’s probably true that I over-reacted. But I still think you were kind of mean.” She apologized if it sounded mean, but said she decided to end the discussion because she felt it had "gone on too long."

I told her I wasn't sure how i went from feeling good to being so upset. I'd felt fine when i left the previous session, and it wasn't until i started thinking about her suggestion to investigate this other therapy that i got upset. The more i thought about it, the more I concluded that she must want to get rid of me. (When i asked her about it in an email and she denied it, I thought she was just backpeddling to save my feelings.)

I told my t that I had somehow gotten sucked into a vortex of feeling horrible, and no matter what she said to reassure me she wasn't trying to get rid of me, I was sure i was right that she did. My thoughts kept circling around and i couldn't snap out of it. My t then said "That is exactly the reason why I left that phone message ("If you have questions, you can write them down and bring them in with you to your session, but as far as i'm concerned, this conversation is over and i will not respond to any more of your messages about it.") My t said she decided to end the discussion, to force an end to the spiral I was in. I told I understand now, and she apologized again if her message sounded mean.

Then she said, “It was not, and has never been my intention for you to go see someone else. In fact, I’m beginning to think about retirement, and I'm considering how i can do that and still continue to be your therapist." She said she might retire from where she works and then go back to having her own private practice again. She said she would try to get onto my insurance plan as a provider. I said if she could not, I would pay out of pocket for therapy, but wouldn't only be able to see her 1 time per month. She said if so, she would work with me on a reduced fee. She told me “We have come a long way, but we still have a ways to go. I don’t want us to stop midstream.”

I sat there in shock. I've always DREADED the day she decided to retire and we'd have to terminate. Whenever the subject of it came up, she would just say “Try not to worry about it. We will work through it together when the time comes.” She never indicated that she would continue being a therapist after she retired. So i never anticipated that after she retired, that i could still continue my therapy with her. This is so unexpected for me and feels like pennies from heaven.

I'm feeling really fortunate that my t is not planning to terminate me when she retires. I always felt jealous of other patients whose therapists told them “You don’t have to leave therapy until you’re ready. You’ll be the one to decide when it’s time to go.” I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that. At some point, she’d retire whether I was ready or not. It was like a guillotine hanging over my head, the impending doom of abandonment. Now, maybe it's posible that I'll be able to finish healing and terminate when i am ready. It feels like a great opportunity that I never anticipated! On the other hand, I'm afraid to get my hopes up for fear something will throw a wrench in it. Just the idea of change makes me a little uneasy.

velcro003 · Dec 14, 2009, 12:25 PM

Peaches, that all sounds very wonderful! I'm glad you guys talked about it, and she reassured you that she doesn't want to terminate you. I just did something similar, and my T also wasn't trying to get rid of me. I am curious, about how old is your T? I am not TOO worried about retirement from my T, she's mid 50s, and she has repeatedly said she isn't going anywhere.

peaches100 · Dec 14, 2009, 05:16 PM

My t is 61.

peaches100 · Dec 15, 2009, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by velcro003

Oh peaches, I totally understand how you're feeling. My T has mentioned that maybe a more behavioral therapy would be better for me, make me less anxious. She has also suggested that maybe I don't even want to be there...which I of course took it as her not wanting me there. She said she is just trying to respond to me saying how nervous I still feel, and that she wants to get me the best help I can get. That is her job.

I have also been talking a lot with her about what I think I am so nervous about--that she will get fed up with me and is frustrated by my "stuckness". Just this past week I was talking more about me being afraid I will walk in one day and she will realize she's sick of me, and she goes "it seems you are pushing me to do that." Ahh! I have been trying not to freak out. I am trying not to believe that what she is saying that if I keep talking about me being afraid of her kicking me out, that she WILL do it because of that. Sigh. Therapy is hard and convoluted, isn't it?

Hi Velcro,

I think what must be happening with us is that we feel insecure in the t relationship -- but it is probably based on how people have treated us in the past, not on what our t says or does. It just "seems" like t is wanting to reject us because it's what we expect to happen. So we are on guard for any look, words, or action that could be interpreted as impending abandonment. Not fun!

What frustrates me is that, each time I'm sure my t wants to reject or abandon me, I don't recognize that it is an unfounded fear or illogical conclusion. It all seems to make perfect sense, because it's what I've been used to all my life. It is only in hindsight that i realize i've basically jumped to conclusions and made myself sick about something that isn't even true. It's amazing how much inner turmoil i bring upon myself by being rejection phobic. I fear it so much i seem to see it everywhere, even when it is not there.

It would be interesting to discuss why, when we are so fearful of abandonment, do we act in ways that could prompt someone to abandon us? The best i can figure out is that we become so sure that the other person will eventually reject or leave us that we push the other person to abandon us now and get it over with. Or we pull back and distance ourself every time we fear rejection is going to happen . . . kind of like, "I'll leave you first, so you can't leave and hurt me." Then there is also the withdrawal and retreat that comes when we begin feeling too close to our t's. . .like a part of us is saying, "If you mean too much to me, it will hurt too much when you reject me. Therefore, i will not let you get close or mean that much to me."

That is the crux of attachment/abandonment problems.

If we understand this intellectually, then why can't we "catch" ourselves when our abandonment fears begin to spin out of control? That is one of the biggest mysteries to me. It's almost like, when i get into that spin, i am no longer a logical adult in the present moment, but i have somehow gone back in time and am responding as the child that i used to be. And i just cannot see it when it is happening.

peaches100 · Dec 15, 2009, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I do feel that it's worthwhile that you discuss this face to face with your T, so that the messages being relayed are clear - and that you can get answers to your questions directly. E-mails leave too much to interpretation which is why my T prefers not to communicate by e-mail.

Actually, I don't believe that it's always the client who is wrong, if there is such a thing as "wrong". My T and I had a rupture a while ago, and it was clearly because of something he had said that was out of line. He told me he felt badly and explained his feelings more.

These are all good things to talk about in therapy.

Mixedupemotions,

You're right. I'm glad i went in and talked to my t about it. While she did not apologized for the content of her earlier message, she did say she was sorry if she came across as mean. And I told her i realize now i over-reacted. So things are better now. I'm glad you and your t are able to navigate through ruptures too.

peaches100 · Dec 15, 2009, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunrise

Perhaps by "look into", she meant you can read about this other form of therapy and see if it resonates with you. When you learn about it, does it seem like it could be helpful? Then maybe you and T could have a more informed discussion about whether it might be helpful to you and you would understand better when your T told you why she thinks it would be helpful.

I think she is raising this because she has your best interests at heart, and wants you to heal.

Often, it's not that a therapy does or doesn't work, but that it can be more or less helpful. It's not all or nothing. I am sure she sees the progress you have made with her, but yet she wants more for you, greater healing. Just because she thinks SE might be helpful doesn't mean she thinks your work together has not helped you.

If you did see a different therapist for SE, you wouldn't have to stop seeing your current T for your regular therapy, would you? It could be an adjunct? I think it is not uncommon for a person to see a second T for a specialized technique, such as hypnotherapy or EMDR. But the client keeps their main therapist too. How would you feel about going to a second T for SE but still keeping your current T?

I think this is a good move. In her emails to you yesterday, she gave answers that I thought were reasonable and reassuring. You heard them in a different way that produced more anxiety, and that is going to be hard to resolve by more emails. I think this is way too important a topic to have email exchanges about anyway. Tomorrow is very soon and it will be really good to have a face to face discussion on this. I know you said that you don't feel like going tomorrow, but that will be your chance to ask all the questions that are so important to you. If you don't go to session, you won't get this resolved, and you will be even more anxious. So, I hope you go!

Yes, I can see how that could make you feel annoyed and powerless. But she did email you several times yesterday, each time trying carefully to explain, and each time, no matter what she wrote, you seemed to react with more anxiety. So she has seen that this email approach to reassuring you is not working and refusing to do it anymore on this topic. Plus, you have a session scheduled so soon, so why not discuss in person?

Sunrise,

I still am not sure what she meant by "look into." I forgot to ask her when we talked about this. Maybe i should ask her tomorrow when i go to my session.

I've gotten the impression from my t that she occasionally questions whether she has enough knowledge and skill to help me. She has been practicing for 20 years, yet i think my issues are complex and not easily solvable. She has done extra research and training over the years to learn more about my particular issues. And she is really quite good. I've learned a ton from her. But there have been times she has wondered if i needed something more that she can't give me.

If i were able to see the SE t and my t alternately (every other week), that would be something i'd consider. But on doing some more investigating, i found out that both SE t's I found who are living in my area and are female do not take my type of insurance. There was another female, but her picture looked so young. I'm not sure how i'd feel seeing somebody much younger than myself. I also think that due to my tendency to attach and have transference issues, that it may not be wise for me to see a male t, and my husband does not want me to see a man. So the idea of SE t is kind of fizzling. However, if i hunt around long enough, i could probably find someone in my area who does SE and takes my insurance. It's not a very common type of therapy, but I live in a big metropolitan area. I guess i could also do some research/reading about it.

The bottom line is that i want to still keep my current t.

Luce · Dec 15, 2009, 10:46 AM

Peaches, I used to go through those same kinds of dissociated cycles and there are some really good tricks you can use to help you get through them and learn to recognise them when they are happening. I used them and it helped me realise what was going on much quicker, and find different ways to deal with them. Now those cycles don't happen for me any more at all.

I have to go to bed now, but let me know if you want me to share those tricks with you later.

peaches100 · Dec 15, 2009, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luce

Peaches, I used to go through those same kinds of dissociated cycles and there are some really good tricks you can use to help you get through them and learn to recognise them when they are happening. I used them and it helped me realise what was going on much quicker, and find different ways to deal with them. Now those cycles don't happen for me any more at all.

I have to go to bed now, but let me know if you want me to share those tricks with you later.

Luce,

YES, please share!! That would really help me. You can share here or PM me, whichever you'd like. Thank you!

Dec 15, 2009, 11:13 AM

peaches, I'm so glad you had a great session, and that your T reassured you that not only does she want to continue working with you, but that her retirement may not even be an issue for your work to continue - that's so great!

Quote:

Originally Posted by peaches100

It would be interesting to discuss why, when we are so fearful of abandonment, do we act in ways that could prompt someone to abandon us? The best i can figure out is that we become so sure that the other person will eventually reject or leave us that we push the other person to abandon us now and get it over with. Or we pull back and distance ourself every time we fear rejection is going to happen . . . kind of like, "I'll leave you first, so you can't leave and hurt me." Then there is also the withdrawal and retreat that comes when we begin feeling too close to our t's. . .like a part of us is saying, "If you mean too much to me, it will hurt too much when you reject me. Therefore, i will not let you get close or mean that much to me."

That is the crux of attachment/abandonment problems.

If we understand this intellectually, then why can't we "catch" ourselves when our abandonment fears begin to spin out of control? That is one of the biggest mysteries to me. It's almost like, when i get into that spin, i am no longer a logical adult in the present moment, but i have somehow gone back in time and am responding as the child that i used to be. And i just cannot see it when it is happening.

Wow, can I relate to this! I think we need a big group hug.

With my closest friends, I used to pull back after they'd do something that made me feel left out, like if they're going to abandon me, then I'll pull away. The last time that happened was a few months into therapy - I was feeling really close with these friends, and then they did something that made me feel so invalidated, so I pulled away, and I even considered quitting therapy - I told T, after I'd realized that quitting therapy wasn't the answer. But there have also been times when I've felt myself pulling away from T, like when she told me she'd eventually let me down - why would I stick around for that hurt? Pull back now, is what my mind told me to do!

And then there have been other times, very recently, when I've been so upset with myself for letting something that T said affect me so much - I was mad at myself for caring so much about what she thought, for letting her get so close. But I talked it out with T. It just feels like it keeps happening, over and over again!

So I don't know why it is that we can't stop it from recurring, but maybe one day we will learn.

velcro003 · Dec 15, 2009, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peaches100

Hi Velcro,

I think what must be happening with us is that we feel insecure in the t relationship -- but it is probably based on how people have treated us in the past, not on what our t says or does. It just "seems" like t is wanting to reject us because it's what we expect to happen. So we are on guard for any look, words, or action that could be interpreted as impending abandonment. Not fun!

What frustrates me is that, each time I'm sure my t wants to reject or abandon me, I don't recognize that it is an unfounded fear or illogical conclusion. It all seems to make perfect sense, because it's what I've been used to all my life. It is only in hindsight that i realize i've basically jumped to conclusions and made myself sick about something that isn't even true. It's amazing how much inner turmoil i bring upon myself by being rejection phobic. I fear it so much i seem to see it everywhere, even when it is not there.

It would be interesting to discuss why, when we are so fearful of abandonment, do we act in ways that could prompt someone to abandon us? The best i can figure out is that we become so sure that the other person will eventually reject or leave us that we push the other person to abandon us now and get it over with. Or we pull back and distance ourself every time we fear rejection is going to happen . . . kind of like, "I'll leave you first, so you can't leave and hurt me." Then there is also the withdrawal and retreat that comes when we begin feeling too close to our t's. . .like a part of us is saying, "If you mean too much to me, it will hurt too much when you reject me. Therefore, i will not let you get close or mean that much to me."

That is the crux of attachment/abandonment problems.

If we understand this intellectually, then why can't we "catch" ourselves when our abandonment fears begin to spin out of control? That is one of the biggest mysteries to me. It's almost like, when i get into that spin, i am no longer a logical adult in the present moment, but i have somehow gone back in time and am responding as the child that i used to be. And i just cannot see it when it is happening.

Peaches, I wrote a ridiculously long response to this (on my phone!) And lost it. Know that I will respond to this later. It hit home.

velcro003 · Dec 15, 2009, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

peaches, I'm so glad you had a great session, and that your T reassured you that not only does she want to continue working with you, but that her retirement may not even be an issue for your work to continue - that's so great!

Wow, can I relate to this! I think we need a big group hug.

With my closest friends, I used to pull back after they'd do something that made me feel left out, like if they're going to abandon me, then I'll pull away. The last time that happened was a few months into therapy - I was feeling really close with these friends, and then they did something that made me feel so invalidated, so I pulled away, and I even considered quitting therapy - I told T, after I'd realized that quitting therapy wasn't the answer. But there have also been times when I've felt myself pulling away from T, like when she told me she'd eventually let me down - why would I stick around for that hurt? Pull back now, is what my mind told me to do!

And then there have been other times, very recently, when I've been so upset with myself for letting something that T said affect me so much - I was mad at myself for caring so much about what she thought, for letting her get so close. But I talked it out with T. It just feels like it keeps happening, over and over again!

So I don't know why it is that we can't stop it from recurring, but maybe one day we will learn.

Ahhh, yes. This isn't normal?! I get mad at myself for letting things my T says get to me too! I've told her before that I wish I didn't care. It would be easier that way.

I, too, pull back when I feel rejected. I have worked on it with my closest friends where I usually can be direct and clarify it. But there still are times when I feel like I'm the least funny, entertaining, smart friend in the room. Luckily I DO feel secure in these relationships (for the most part) so its mostly ok.

Sannah · Dec 15, 2009, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peaches100

I think what must be happening with us is that we feel insecure in the t relationship -- but it is probably based on how people have treated us in the past, not on what our t says or does.

each time I'm sure my t wants to reject or abandon me, I don't recognize that it is an unfounded fear or illogical conclusion.

The best i can figure out is that we become so sure that the other person will eventually reject or leave us that we push the other person to abandon us now and get it over with.

If we understand this intellectually, then why can't we "catch" ourselves when our abandonment fears begin to spin out of control?

It's almost like, when i get into that spin, i am no longer a logical adult in the present moment, but i have somehow gone back in time and am responding as the child that i used to be. And i just cannot see it when it is happening.

Great insight Peaches! Making behavior changes in the moment get the most "bang for your buck"! I have changed my behavior when I have been triggered and I did it gradually. Recognizing that you are triggered and spinning out of control is the first step. It might take a few times of this happening before you become aware enough to catch yourself. Once you can catch yourself in the triggered moment you can start some self talk which CAN change things. Once I became aware and got started it took several times to extinguish the trigger response but each time the response got weaker and weaker until it was gone. The self talk that I used was to tell myself that I was being triggered and that I was responding in that moment like it was in the past and that I was responding as a small child. I would remind myself of the facts of the moment and that they were not the facts of the past.

peaches100 · Dec 17, 2009, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by farmergirl

She did the only thing she could since she had tried to answer your question and you still did not take her at her word. Sometimes all a person can do is put an end to the discussion. Once you've said all you have to say and the other person refuses to believe it, what else can you do? Sometimes we just have to be told no.

I know you think you are being logical about this, but you're not. You are completely emotional about this. Your t knows that and she knows you have your mind set one way. You've read too much into this and put yourself into a panic.

Farmergirl,

Thanks for replying. I don't think i was being completely emotional about it, but I do see now, in hindsight, that i was over-reacting. I tend to put pieces together, which appear logical to me at the time, to create a story that i then believe is true and respond to it that way. I get where i think i have things all figured out, but there are assumptions mixed in there that i can't separate from reality. I'm not sure how to catch myself while doing it??? It's only in hindsight, and after talking with my t about things, that i recognize what happened and where my thinking went awry.

peaches100 · Dec 17, 2009, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ripley

Hey Peaches,

sorry you are having a hard time with this. Like Sunrise I wonder if seeing someone for another type of therapy necessarily means not continuing with your current T? It seems like that is what your T is trying to say to you...that it doesn't mean that to her.

For what it's worth, my T tried a different thing in a session a couple of weeks ago, which seems like what you are describing as sensorimotor therapy. I too tend to get to a certain point in trying to relate to my feelings and then I get stuck and scared and start to shut down. So she suggested I try to let my body do what it wanted to do, that it remembered what it felt in the past and how it wanted to respond (but wasn't able to because of the situation.) I had no idea what the hells she meant at first, and felt like a dolt! She kept explaining it different ways and finally I got it. But what I felt like my body wanted to do was kick things and throw things. I told her that and that I didn't think it was OK to do that there. She agreed and suggested I push against a wall. So I tried that. I was very self-conscious and didn't keep at it for very long. Partly because I could feel huge waves of emotion building when I did. I sat down and she had me try ripping up some stiff cardboard. Same thing...lots of feelings just poised to come out. I wasn't able to stay with it, but I did get a sense of how it might be very effective. (I did this cardboard ripping thing with someone else a few years ago and I ended up letting out the most blood-curdling screams...I had no idea I could make so much noise!)
She didn't discuss this new direction with me beforehand, so when I had had enough I sat back and asked her "Are we doing something different or is this just where we're at now?" It was then that she said that she had wanted to try something new, since she sees me sitting there struggling so hard sometimes and not being able to get unstuck.

Afterwards I really appreciated her wilingness to try a something new, even if I wasn't able to go very far with it

I guess maybe your T is also wanting to help you get unstuck, but doesn't feel qualified to use a modality she thinks might be helpful to you.

I hope you will be able to find a way to have this be a both/and situation, rather that either/or. Although I do absolutely understand the gut reaction of "she's trying to get rid of me" I bet you dollars to donuts that is not the case!!

Ripley,

I was really interested in reading your account of how you used a body centered technique to help release emotions that you had not been able to discharge through just talking about them. It sounds like it was effective in helping you get some of that painful stuff out. My t asked me once to focus on my body and tell her what it felt like doing. My answer was it felt like throwing up. The only problem is i have a phobia about throwing up, so would never, never want to actually do it. But do you think it could have been a metaphor for wanting to figuratively throw up all the bad feelings that are making me emotionally sick and get them out of me?

peaches100 · Dec 28, 2009, 10:02 AM

I want to apologize about dropping this thread. There are still posts I haven't answered. What happens is when i get alot of responses, i am so grateful and want to reply to them all. Because it takes alot of time to respond to each one, I'm afraid that the topic gets old and stale in the process, and people on the board lose interest. So i feel bad to keep responding to something that maybe has already become boring on the board. This has happened a few times, and i am not sure how i should handle it. Should i keep replying to all the posts anyway? Or just let the post go when i start feeling that it may have become "old news" on the board? I don't want to be boring, but i also feel bad if i don't reply to each post that people have taken time to post to me. What should i do?

Dec 28, 2009, 11:45 AM

hey peaches. My solution to the dilemma you describe is to drop a thread when I am bored with it or have nothing further to say...
BTW to answer your previous question, I don't know! But that's as reasonable a hypothesis as any

velcro003 · Dec 28, 2009, 12:51 PM

I say if you still have stuff to say, respond away! I will still read it

sunrise · Dec 28, 2009, 12:59 PM

Peaches, sometimes when I don't want to prolong a thread, I will just briefly post a joint thank you note to those who responded (naming them by name) and let them know I read and appreciate their responses.

If someone sent a response that was really helpful but I still don't want to respond to because I want the thread to die, I might send them a PM response.

WePow · Dec 28, 2009, 01:28 PM

Peaches, this thread has been wonderful to read - thank you so much for sharing!!!!
It is good to see the honesty and how you are dealing with real situations as they come up. Then posting updates to see what happens. Thank you a billion!!

My only thought that I did not hear another say (sorry if I overlooked it if they did) was a bit of projection from me to your situation maybe --- but I wondered if maybe you felt by her suggesting you to see another T was something you subconsciously viewed as emotional cheating? Kinda like "Well, if I can't satisfly you, maybe you should try so and so?" Like I said - my own projection issues going on there but that is what I saw.

Sannah · Dec 28, 2009, 01:45 PM

This thread is for you to explore the issue Peaches. If you still want to explore it, please do. These threads aren't newsfeeds (meaning that you need the interest of others to continue it). If you are still exploring then this thread is still interesting.

Dec 28, 2009, 03:41 PM

peaches, i think if you want to reply then do, but if you feel obligated to respond to each post then i wouldn't bother. there are no shoulds here.

skeksi · Dec 28, 2009, 05:04 PM

good advice here.

I don't think anyone gets offended if their posts are not individually acknowledged. We all post to a thread knowing that we are contributing to someone's thought process, not having many separate conversations. It's perfectly okay to respond with a general thank you, or to summarize people's responses and respond to that...there's no one way to do this, peaches.

Be well.

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Losing Hope; Feeling Rejected by T

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