[lifelesstraveled]

that's what T said to me when I gave her the good news that I've accomplished my goal of finding a new job and relocating to a different state. I am excited about this change, but also tremendously nervous and a bit overwhelmed. I wish I could put T in my bags and bring her with me to help with the transition until I settle in ...but I cant.

So I have been searching for a T in my new state. I emailed two. One got back to me within a few minutes of sending out the email and called me thirty minutes later...I was a little uncomfy with that. Then I googled her and found out that she had some sort of reprimand and fine on her license....

I emailed another who got back to me within a few hours and gave me the option of calling her whenever I wanted to discuss things a little more and so we could ask each other more questions. When I saw her photo (i think I found her on psychology today) she had this look about her. I can't explain it. She looked safe to me. Her smile was welcoming and warm. Anyways here is her response to my email:

Hi ####,

Thanks for contacting me.

You are wise to be seeking support while you're in transition with
your move and job change whether with me or someone else. I can speak
with you on the phone to answer questions, and meet with you for a
consultation when you arrive. Afterwards, you and I can decide if we
want to work together.

I ask my clients what they want from therapy, and I also assess and
give my professional opinion when I think clients will benefit. I do
both short and long term therapy. It is sometimes very difficult to
know at the onset how long the therapy should be.

I agree that getting the ADD/ADHD assessment before you move is a good
idea. You will have so much to do when you arrive, and your therapist
who you know and trust can help you get a good evaluation.

So call me at ### ### #### whenever you like, and we can ask each
other more questions. The phone is much more confidential and easier
for me.

I smiled on seeing your name. My niece who just moved near me is
named ####, My middle name is Lynn, and I grew up in a community
called ####### (almost #######). Do you believe in coincidences?

I'm glad you're excited about your move.

#####

This is weird, but after I read her email, especially the last part, I decided that i wanted to work with her...The first, T is a big resounding NO. She scared me. But the second one I definitely would like to set up at least one appt with her when I get there.

Although I am not TERRIBLY attached to my current T, I will miss her. She has helped me sooo much and I am sooo grateful. If it wasn't for her I dont think I would have made as much progress as I have (even though I know I still need to work on a lot of things). Do T's get sad when their clients move on? I wonder if she will forget about me. I dont want her to forget me (that's a general fear of mine for some crazy reason--that i will be forgotten about).

I asked her on Wednesday if that was going to be my last session. She said oh no. We would have at least one more to wrap things up. So I asked if we could do two more and she said "yea, SURE!"....We have two more sessions left. I keep wondering what is supposed to happen in these sessions? How do we wrap things up?

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

This is weird, but after I read her email, especially the last part, I decided that i wanted to work with her...The first, T is a big resounding NO. She scared me. But the second one I definitely would like to set up at least one appt with her when I get there.

Yeah, sounds good to me, at least as a start.

[zooropa]

reading that email from your potential new T made me smile, LLT. How about those "coincidences"? I hope your phone conversation with her goes well and you can connect with her, how great would it be to have that connection already set up before you even move?

As far as your last sessions with your current T, I would be feeling the same way. Definitely wanting to closure and not to just quit going, but wondering what those last few hours together will look and feel like.

[theave]

That's great - I hope your move will go well and it's good that you have started to find things in the new place to make that transition easier.

I hope the last 2 sessions with your current T go well - something that might be worth talking about is having strategies in place to help you cope with all the new things you will be bombarded with once you move. I had "last sessions" with my psychologist, psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse. With the psychologist, she gave me a letter explaining the various subjects and strategies we had covered so I could pass that onto someone else if I wished, and also to help me remember what work we had done together. My psychiatrist also gave me a letter giving my diagnosis and treatment so far - again, to pass onto someone new. My psychiatric nurse gave me a hug and told me still to call her if I needed to!

I hope it goes well = good luck with the packing!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

Although I am not TERRIBLY attached to my current T, I will miss her. She has helped me sooo much and I am sooo grateful. If it wasn't for her I dont think I would have made as much progress as I have (even though I know I still need to work on a lot of things). Do T's get sad when their clients move on?

Probably sometimes. I think it is OK to tell her all of those things--that you will miss her, that she has helped you, and that you will be sad to leave her. I am sure she will be touched and respond from the heart.

We have two more sessions left. I keep wondering what is supposed to happen in these sessions? How do we wrap things up?

In the last session with my daughter and our family therapist, earlier this year, we only told him it was our last session at that session, so we caught him off guard a bit, and I did feel he was a little sad, but also very experienced at ending things. He managed the session well, and had us reflect back on what had brought us to therapy, what we had gained, how we had used therapy with him to help ourselves, what had changed between us (my daughter and me) in our relationship, and what we would continue to work on. My daughter and I got a chance to "compare notes" on our different experiences, and also to each tell our T how we had gained, so that he could learn something too. I think the last session went well, and our T's effort to have us draw some meaning from our time with him was successful. That was 7 months ago. Since then I have emailed him twice to connect just a bit, but not since summer. I do miss him sometimes. They carve a place in our hearts--I hope they know. If it's possible, don't leave anything unsaid that later you will wish you had said.

[lifelesstraveled]

Thank you all for your responses.

I spoke with my potential new T and made an appt with her for Jan 6th...super nervous.

So far I am not sure what to think or feel. I am feeling super overwhelmed with my move and starting my new job...and now a new T...I want to call T and go in and see her

All I want to do is "go away" for a little while and not think about any of this, but I only have three weeks so I can't and I am fighting the urge.

My brain feels so jumbled and messy--per usual, but even more so with everything I have going on. I dont even know where to start or what to do or what to focus on...and I want T now...she always seems to make things clearer for me. I want her to tell me I'm going to be okay...

I feel like Im making a big deal out of nothing-- like im whining...but im scared as heck...i get easily overwhelmed and panicky over things...maybe i am just oversensitive...idk..i want T...

[jexa]

LLT, you are not making a big deal out of nothing. These are truly significant life changes that can be so difficult and overwhelming, for anyone. It's okay to express how chaotic you feel -- it's okay to wish for support right now -- it's okay to be scared.

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

I dont even know where to start or what to do or what to focus on...and I want T now...she always seems to make things clearer for me. I want her to tell me I'm going to be okay...

Can you call her? I think asking for some support during such a HUGE transitional time is SO okay, and probably expected.

What if you let yourself call and say "I don't know where to start with all of this and I need you to tell me I'm going to be okay"

You ARE going to be okay, (((((((((((LLT))))))))))).

[gravyyy]

Hang in there LLT. I just made a major life move 3 weeks ago when I moved to a new state. I had worked with my T once per week for over 2 years. I worked with my pdoc for about 2 years but I hate him so it wasn't hard to stop seeing him. My T knew 2 months ahead of time when my last session was. I figurd we would have some kind of "wrap-up" session but we didn't. Now that I'm in the new area I dont have a job and don't have a T. I will be seeing a new pdoc here in 3 days but no therapy as of now. On my last session T said she was going to call me every Monday for a phone session until I got on my feet and started with someone new here. I love her for that because she knows I wouldn't ask for it. Maybe you could ask T if something like that was available for you until you get connected with your new T (though it sounds like your appt is coming up i just a few weeks). Otherwise, I agree with what was said before about making sure you get out what you need to befroe you're done. I wasn't able to do that face-to-face and so I sent a card and it just doesn't mean as much. Hope your transition goes well and it sounds like you've done a great job so far of lining everything up as far as your treatment goes so bravo for that!!!

[lifelesstraveled]

Tree,
I can't call her and ask her for support...it's bad enough I asked for two more sessions instead of one more...I can't call her--though i am sure she wouldn't mind...but in my crazy head, i have come to the conclusion that I can't call her. I will try and keep busy til next week...--just praying that i dont completely break down in T---it would be AWFUL for my first time ever crying in T to be one of my last sessions...

Gravvy, OMG. How are you handling the transition? It's sounds rather rough, IMO. I hope you are doing OK
It's really hard for me to express my feelings so I will probably give T a thank you/holiday card and have her read it during session...again...asking T for something extra, is something I just can't do at this point. I wish I could...I guess I don't know unless I try, huh? I guess my progress to this point has not included asking for something that I need...though I did ask for two more sessions instead of one...but I think that's my limit for now...

[gravyyy]

LLT: Gravvy, OMG. How are you handling the transition? It's sounds rather rough, IMO. I hope you are doing OK

Not gonna lie, LLT, it's tough. But what in life isn't tough? I'm in a depressed mode right now so painting and remodeling the new house essentially by myself along with unpacking seems comepletely overwhelming most of the time. Basically it's one foot in front of the other right now. If I try to look at the "big picture" and see everything I have to do it's paralyzing and I can't even start anything. If I look at one thing, however, it seems more manageable and I can get things done. That would be my advice to you... focus on one little task then move on to the next. The other thing I found helpful was to set a timer for 10 minutes and just do something for 10 minutes, whether it's packing or cleaning or painting or whatever. I have found when I focus on working for 10 minutes, by the time the buzzer goes off at the end of the time, I'm well into whatever I'm doing and can continue for an hour or two.

It's really annoying to move. SO much work. New jobs, new people to get to know. It's scary at times. But it sounds like for you it's definitely an upward move in your life and so I admire you for taking the leap and making the move!!!! I hope everything goes well for you!