[Martina]

What did I expect?

I got all riled up about breaking the news to my psych nurse that I was going to cut her off from therapy and just see her for meds only, and see another therapist.

But what did I expect her to do? Cry? Beg me to stay? What?

She really said nothing, and for some reason that bothers me. It's like I want her to be upset. I want her to care that I'm leaving. But she doesn't. All she said was thank you for telling me. That's it.

I've been seeing her for 18 months. She has brought me through a lot of hell, several suicide attempts, the works. Yet she doesn't even care that I'm seeing another therapist?

[mightaswelllive]

She was probably surprised and trying to hold back her reaction. I'm sure she feels something.

I can imagine how you would have wanted to talk to her about it.. but her inability to do so seems like a good confirmation that you should be working with someone else on therapy.

Best of luck with your new T

[mixedup_emotions]

I can certainly understand your disappointment. I'm disappointed too in her reaction - or lack thereof. I'm wondering if perhaps she was trying to digest the news and wasn't sure of how to react. It might be worthwhile to express your feelings to her the next time you see her for meds.

[Rapunzel]

Or she could have been acting professional and trying not to put pressure on you to keep her for therapy. Because it is your choice and your right to choose a different therapist if you want to. It's about you, not about what she might want.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Rapunzel

Or she could have been acting professional and trying not to put pressure on you to keep her for therapy. Because it is your choice and your right to choose a different therapist if you want to. It's about you, not about what she might want.

That's what I thought too. You didn't tell your psych nurse that you were considering seeing another therapist and wanted her input on that. You told her you were already seeing another therapist and were going to terminate with her. Maybe she felt, "it's a done deal, what is there to discuss?" You already made up your mind and took action. I agree she may just have been doing her best to be professional. One of the things it says in all the informed consent forms for the therapists I (or other family members) have seen is that the client has the right to terminate therapy at any time (they are not forced to be there). So I think when a client says they are terminating, the T tries to be respectful. It is one of those things the state requires be in the informed consent, so it's important that they respect the client's right to self determination on that. When my daughter and I terminated with our family therapist, he was very respectful of our decision. He was a little taken aback initially, but he took a moment to recoup (he looked at the ceiling for a while), then he turned to work with us for the rest of the hour and help bring the relationship to a close. Very professional and respectful.

Martina, the good thing is, that you are continuing to see this nurse for your meds, so you will have later opportunities to return to this and process with her, if you want.

[ECHOES]

I was going to cut her off from therapy

This and your first post where you describe how frustrated you were with the way she was resonding to you, make me think that you found a way to punish her and she didn't react to meet the expectation of her realizing that you were angry with her. May be way off, but that's how it seems to me. Not judging, just noticing. Do you think that fits, that maybe you really wanted her to know you felt neglected by her and angry with her? That you wanted her to see that her behavior initiated the change and you wanted her to take responsibility for that?

I wish she would have responded in a way that felt good to you.

[moonrise]

I'm also guessing that she was simply unsure in the moment how to react, and sometimes rather than overreacting, people tend to under react. If she *had* begged you to stay, would you feel upset?

It is good that you'll still see her. It'll give you a chance to revisit this and perhaps bring some closure to it all.

She's a professional, and responded in the standard professional manner. She responded the only way she could under the circumstances. Were you testing her? Maybe you need to talk to her when you see her next about what you were expecting. But after all, it's not like she won't be seeing you at all. She'll still see you for meds. That's a good thing, right? Perhaps that was it. She knows she'll still see you, so it's not like a complete termination?