[iGottaBme]

I have been in therapy for 7 years. During that time, I have left messages stating that T didn't need to call me back. Once a year or so, I leave a message asking T to return my call and he has. I saw him on Monday. On Tuesday, I was having a hard time. Knowing that he does not like do therapy over the phone, I asked him if I could see him again on Tuesday. Since it is something that he normally does not do, I asked him to call me back and give me his thoughts on me coming in again that day. He has not called me back.

Before the holiday break, we had a difficult session when he indicated that he saw a distructive pattern whereby I was exercising a lot of control and he wanted me to be more open and less contained. I already thought that I was being open but apparently he did not. So in our session on Monday, he stated that he wanted us to work collaboratively and that I needed to tell him what was happening with me instead of minimizing it. He has started to take a tougher approach with me.

If I call and cancel my sessions T will think that I am acting out instead of realizing that I am reacting to him not returning my call. How can I be more open with someone who did not return my call during my time of need? I am too embarrassed to show up because I feel like I sounded so desparate on the phone when I called him on Tuesday.

I feel like I have made a lot of progress over the past year and was really hoping to get past a few hurdles and finish our work. I don't know that I can now. I feel like such a baby.

There may be numerous reasons why he hasn't returned your call. It probably doesn't have anything to do with you. Just call him back and remind him to give you a call.

[rainbow8]

I agree with farmergirl. You are assuming a lot about his not returning your call. Maybe your message got lost and he never got it. Maybe he had some emergency. Maybe he misunderstand that you wanted to see him that day.

He wants you to be open with him, so here is your chance. I would ask him if he got your call and why didn't he call back. I would call him again if you can't wait until Tuesday to find out what happened. My guess is that he did NOT receive your call, did not hear it clearly, or misunderstood that you wanted him to call back. It doesn't make sense that he wouldn't call you, especially since you rarely ask him to call back.

You don't need to feel embarrassed! I think most of us have times when we need our Ts and sound desperate. There's got to be a logical explanation why your T didn't call back.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by iGottaBme

If I call and cancel my sessions T will think that I am acting out instead of realizing that I am reacting to him not returning my call.

These sound so similar...
What about going to your session and telling him, without minimizing it, what was happening with you during this time of waiting for him to call you?

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by iGottaBme

If I call and cancel my sessions T will think that I am acting out instead of realizing that I am reacting to him not returning my call.

If you want him to realize you are having a reaction to his not returning your call, then you will probably have to tell him directly. He is not going to get that message by your canceling an appointment. I hope you can go to session and tell him what has been going on with you.

[iGottaBme]

Thank you for your comments. I was reacting from a childlike state instead of being an adult. It occurred to me that if it were my plumber, I would put in a second call stating that I hadn't heard back.

I called T and left a message saying that I hadn't heard back and did not know whether he received my message or misunderstood that I wanted a call back. I also told him that he did not need to call me back at this point since I have an appointment in a few days.

I am still embarrassed for some reason and worry about seeing T next week. I hope that I have the courage to say what I feel.