[fallenangel337]

I have my first group session today, and I'm nervous as heck. I have no clue what to expect, and I'm not sure how I'll deal with having to open up to a group of people I don't know. Also, I'm scared about what brings me to the group, and how it will be received by the others.

Has anyone else here participated in group therapy that can give me some peace of mind?

I did some years ago. It really was a great experience. Take your time and open up as you are ready. In my case, all of us were survivors of CSA. I learned so much from those other women. I learned to feel for myself because if I was angry for those other women, I couldn't set a double standard for myself. It will be okay.

[fallenangel337]

Blah...I officially dislike group therapy.

We listed positive behaviors we want to increase and negative behaviors we want to decrease, and we took turns talking about what we had listed. I kept them vague, but informative. So the facilitator put me on the spot really bad, and questioned me on one of my issues that I had not yet revealed to the group. It'll take time for me, I realize, but I want to be able to share on my own time. Meaning, I want to be able to reveal my own issues when I'm ready as opposed to someone else revealing them when I'm not.

I'm not sure whether I'm going back or not. I'm going to talk to my counselor about it, and I'll see what she has to say, then I'll make my decision. In the very least, I'm going to talk to the facilitators and tell them not to put me on the spot like that, or I'm out for sure.

[Perna]

Everyone gets put on the spot in group; it can be almost funny, like playing pass the hot potato. Sorry it was so intense your first day. Was it the group's first day or did you come into an already established group? The "right" group can be great. I was in one for nearly 10 years.

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by Perna

Everyone gets put on the spot in group; it can be almost funny, like playing pass the hot potato. Sorry it was so intense your first day. Was it the group's first day or did you come into an already established group? The "right" group can be great. I was in one for nearly 10 years.

There were some who had been there before, and 3 of us who were new. But the thing is, I was the only one who got put on the spot. No one else...just me.

They all seem like cool people, but seriously...I can decide when I want to tell what needs to be told. Being kept accountable is one thing, but being forced to reveal all on the first day EVER of any group therapy is intense.

What you do is talk about that in group, how it feels, and how you'd like things to happen differently. Group work takes guts, that's for sure -- in a different way than individual therapy. Give it time. You need time to get used to the dynamics of everyone involved.

[pinkcorr]

I agree with farmergirl.

Also, I've been in group therapy for nearly a year, its been the only therapy that has worked for me, its very challenging and hard work, but its worth it. The days that you don't want to go and the days you really should go because myself and others inthe group have felt that way and havebeen so glad that they did go that day. I guess every group is different. And I agree that you should talk about how you're feeling regarding sharing all your issues on the first day. It takes time, and you should be allowed that time.

I hope it works out for you

x

[deliquesce]

i've never done group, sweetie, and i think you're super brave!!!

if you get put on the spot and don't feel comfortable revealing, just say something like "i'd prefer not to share that for the time being". it might lead into a discussion of what you need before you are more willing to share.

i hate being put on the spot (individual T) but one thing i've finally learnt is to say "no" when i don't want to go somewhere. austin-t says it's important to listen to those feelings, because they keep you protected until you feel safe enough to go there.

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

i've never done group, sweetie, and i think you're super brave!!!

if you get put on the spot and don't feel comfortable revealing, just say something like "i'd prefer not to share that for the time being". it might lead into a discussion of what you need before you are more willing to share.

i hate being put on the spot (individual T) but one thing i've finally learnt is to say "no" when i don't want to go somewhere. austin-t says it's important to listen to those feelings, because they keep you protected until you feel safe enough to go there.

They set it up so I couldn't say no. They basically revealed it for me...I didn't say a thing regarding it.

I totally get what everyone here is saying about talking to the group about it, but I keep feeling like that will set me up to be put on the spot yet again, in much the same way. I don't know...

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

They set it up so I couldn't say no. They basically revealed it for me...I didn't say a thing regarding it.

Yeah, I wouldn't like that either. I didn't even like it one time when the T divulged something about me that he thought was favorable but that I did not especially want known.

[darkrunner]

Fallen Angel,
This does not sound right to me. You should be in control of what is revealed during group. If that happened to me I would be seriously hurt and angry.
I wouldn't want to go back to the group either until I talked to the facilitators. It is important to let them know how you felt about what happened, and that they agree not to let it happen again.
I'm sorry that happened to you.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

They set it up so I couldn't say no. They basically revealed it for me...I didn't say a thing regarding it.

How did they know about it in order to reveal it? Was it information from your files that had been given to them by your therapist or doctor? If so, I think it was an error in confidentiality for facilitators to give out that information to a group without getting your permission. I would definitely not feel safe if facilitators had information about me they could reveal at will. I"m sorry you had such a rough time, fallenangel. I hope you can sort it out with the facilitators. If they don't seem to understand your concern, then maybe another group with different standards would be better.

[deliquesce]

aww, fallenangel, i'm sorry. everyone else has already written what i would have to say on the matter, so here are some gentle hugs for you instead .

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by sunrise

How did they know about it in order to reveal it? Was it information from your files that had been given to them by your therapist or doctor? If so, I think it was an error in confidentiality for facilitators to give out that information to a group without getting your permission. I would definitely not feel safe if facilitators had information about me they could reveal at will. I"m sorry you had such a rough time, fallenangel. I hope you can sort it out with the facilitators. If they don't seem to understand your concern, then maybe another group with different standards would be better.

From what I can guess, perhaps it was in my file, or they were told? It's not like an uncommon, strictly situational thing. It could have been guessed by going down a list of common problems. Still, it wasn't something I wanted revealed right away, and I feel like my own privacy was compromised in them doing so.

Also, thank you all for the hugs.