What I want next....

Some of you may have read that the therapy group I'm in 3 full days a week has to close at the end of March. And that I've been finding this very difficult, so much so that I ended up cutting badly last night for the first time in 10 months. (posted about this on the SI forum)

Anyway on Thursday I asked S (the manager of the TC) what were the realistic options after March. Although things are still not set in stone, there should be a mentalization group, there are outpatient psychotherapy groups and there is also the option of individual psychotherapy. When I started at TC, the first six months is a one day a week programme, in the second half of this we did 12 weeks of mentalization group therapy or MBT. I found this really helpful, so I think thats one of the things I would like to do more of. I would also like to do more group psychotherapy and individual psychotherapy. I feel a bit better in myself now that I know more of whats available, and a bit more about what I want from my treatment. In an ideal world, I would want to keep the TC and have the chance to finish in the way I've seen others do, but this isn't an option anymore. I'm still sad about it, and even though I did cut last night I feel a slight shift within myself. I do have fears about starting in new groups and who the other patients and therapists will be, but I had the same fears when I started TC and I managed and feel very safe there.

I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to people, but this is another challenge for me that I will manage, I can allow myself to be upset, and allow myself to learn from it.

I'm still scared but I know Ill be ok

(((pink))) I'm glad you are finding some peace with knowing some more details about what's coming. I'm sorry you felt you had to SI, but it's just a thing. You can start over today.

I've experienced that feeling of an inner shift before, and knowing that even though I'm scared and things will be hard, I'll be ok. I'm glad you are feeling that now.

How is a mentalization group different from other groups?

I'm glad that you're in a good place through all this. Change is super hard, especially when it's change in therapy, I think.

I know that even when one person drops out of my group T - or a new one joins - I have trouble with the transition...dealing with loss, with not trusting the newbie, the change in the group dynamic due to the change....ugh.

You are really looking at this in a very healthy way, knowing and accepting that it's going to be hard, acknowledging that you're scared, and knowing ultimately that you will be ok. Good for you!

Its kinda hard to explain, although the way The T explained it to us when we did Mentalization was that it was more about the here and now and not about linking things from the here and now to the past. Do you know what Mentalization is,I could send you a link if you don't?

x x x x

No, I have never heard the term before. Sure, send me a link.

I like this eplanation of it, as its easier to understand than the more formal stuff - http://www.organiclemon.org/id7.html

http://www.organiclemon.org/id7.html

That sounds like what I think of as mindfulness (good), though maybe it has been more developed into an actual therapy.

Yeah I guess it is, just a bit more indepth and as you say more of a therapy. Along with DBT, its one of the main therapies used for those diagnosed with BPD. I found it helpful, and I guess some of it is used in different types of therapies too. I won't be doing the mentalization group. Its been decided I'll be having individual psychotherapy twice a week.