[darkrunner]

Does anyone ever feel like their T just doesn't understand, or is not believing them, or not knowing the right things to do?

How do you get past the doubts and mis-trust?

How do you know if you should? - because maybe the doubts and mis-trust are ways to protect yourself?

[WePow]

I do not feel that way with my new T. I did feel that with my first T years ago - but I think the reason I felt it was due to my own doubts. I was still in major denial about most of what I remembered. I also minimalized the abuse greatly.

To get through it, I just took it one day at a time and went with the flow. And I listened to what was said even when I did not believe it or trust it.

[skyliner]

dark, I am in a similar place now. I feel like t and I are soooo different, we don't connect on the level I would like to; something is off and I can't pinpoint it.

I do not feel attached, and don't know if it's because I see her only once a week. Would more frequent sessions make it more likely for a deeper attachment to develop?

I am with her 8 months and still don't like where I am with her. Yet the prospect of starting with a new one is an exhausting one.

I don't know if this inability to bond is due to the infrequent sessions; maybe by the time I come back 7 days later it's all watered down.

Or maybe the inability to bond is because my previous t did something so awful it has affected my trust.

I'm trying to sort out why I don't feel the level of connect I want to feel.

Most of all I want to be able to leave my heartache and pain in her office, something I used to do with my previous one, but here I am unable to do it.

Just not feeling the level of safety I want to feel. And too blind to know if it's reality based or transference based.

Hope we figure this out soon, darkrunner.

[darkrunner]

wpowers,
This is a scary thing to do, don't you think? You are very brave.

Originally Posted by wpowers

To get through it, I just took it one day at a time and went with the flow. And I listened to what was said even when I did not believe it or trust it.

Skyliner,
Thank you so much for your response. I wish I could put into words how validating it feels to have someone really understand.
Our situations DO sounds similar. I've been with my T for 8 months as well. Maybe we just need to be patient. I don't know.
I am so envious of some of the things I read here about other people and their relationships with T. I know I shouldn't compare but sometimes I wonder how valuable this process can be if I don't really trust T.
I hope we figure it out soon, too.

Originally Posted by skyliner

dark, I am in a similar place now. I feel like t and I are soooo different, we don't connect on the level I would like to; something is off and I can't pinpoint it.

I do not feel attached, and don't know if it's because I see her only once a week. Would more frequent sessions make it more likely for a deeper attachment to develop?

I am with her 8 months and still don't like where I am with her. Yet the prospect of starting with a new one is an exhausting one.

I don't know if this inability to bond is due to the infrequent sessions; maybe by the time I come back 7 days later it's all watered down.

Or maybe the inability to bond is because my previous t did something so awful it has affected my trust.

I'm trying to sort out why I don't feel the level of connect I want to feel.

Most of all I want to be able to leave my heartache and pain in her office, something I used to do with my previous one, but here I am unable to do it.

Just not feeling the level of safety I want to feel. And too blind to know if it's reality based or transference based.

Hope we figure this out soon, darkrunner.

[skyliner]

I'm practicing patience, and at the same time i will discuss this with t at next session. Having an open ongoing dialogue with t about the process of therapy and how I am experiencing it will lead me out of this uncertainty.

[zooropa]

I do feel attached to my T, but have doubts almost constantly about whether she believes me. It's part of the trust thing, and I know that, but knowing that doesn't take the doubts away.

What I do, all I can do, is tell her. I ask her if she believes me, or more often just say "I feel like you don't believe me". I think I'm starting to sound like a broken record but saying it and having her reassure me is the only thing that makes me feel better and not go into a complete freak out in my head about it.

[skyliner]

I sometimes feel not believed and not heard. I think it is hard for me to believe she believes me because I have so often been not believed (by other significant others).

[Burbitine]

Ditto for this. I always told my T to call me a liar if she thought that i was lying. But I always have doubts. Face it the last thing you want is your own therapist to think she's a liar. I dont know. I have my T. Once a week for a 45 minute session at the beginning of the week and a 15 minute check up in the morning on thursday. I go to a private school. (Before we think anything it's a therupetic day school not a nuthouse). Anyway for me i would think that knowing more about her would make it easier to trust. Face it you will nearly always trust the people you know more than the people that you dont. I was thinking that after I am done with a crisis that has been tearing me apart I would spend a session that would get to know her. Im not sure if it would work for you But hey why not