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#1
Feb 08, 2010, 11:11 AM
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Hello everyone! I'm back
 I went to treatment in Florida for seven weeks. My addiction to Benzos, and mixing them with alcohol, was out of control. Today, I have 52 days clean, and I feel healthier than I have in my whole life. I have never had any clean time from Benzos because I was prescribed them 11 years ago, and I have been taking them consistently, or abusing them, ever since. Going to treatment in Florida was the most difficult, but most amazing, thing I have ever done. I went through an extremely hard detox, and the withdrawal symptoms were basically unbearable. The counselors there are VERY tough, but more empathic than anyone I have met-- they are all in recovery. There is no room for ******** there because you get called out on it IMMEDIATELY... and after all of these years, it's just what I needed.In the seven weeks that I was there, I left T three phone messages to update him on how I was doing, and to let him know I was still alive and all of that stuff. I did not bother asking him to call back because they gave us our phones everyday from 4:30pm to 11:00pm (and longer on the weekends)... but I was living with other women so it is hard to receive phone calls-- the phone is usually busy, or we are at group/meetings, so no one is home to answer. I spoke to T for the first time on the day that I left (I took a train b/c I don't fly, so I was on the train back to Philly for 27 hrs and had some time to talk). We just spoke for a few minutes. He kept my appointment time open. I'm going to session today for the first time in over seven weeks. Unfortunately, this will be my only session until I go back to work. I really can't afford to see him until I am earning money again. I sent out a lot of resumes yesterday because I am excited to go back to work, and I am ready. It's okay that I won't go back to therapy for a little while because I am going to dual diagnosis IOP, women's group therapy once per week, and lots of NA and AA Meetings where I am meeting so many awesome, supportive people. The way that I'm feeling right now-- I always thought to be impossible. I never thought I could feel this healthy. I never even though I was worth feeling this healthy.
__________________
"The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -- Jack Kerouac |
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#2
Feb 08, 2010, 11:21 AM
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((((((((((((((pink!))))))))))))))))) <- sorry, couldn't help it
WOW. First of all, it is awesome to see you. And second...just WOW. look at what you've accomplished. I really REALLY would love to hear more about treatment. It sounds like it was an amazing experience. It is SO good to see you.  <- aaaa!!!
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#3
Feb 08, 2010, 11:40 AM
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welcome back!
so glad to hear that you are well on the path to recovery...missed you & was actually thinking about you the other day & how you hadn't posted in a while...now i know why...for a great reason.... hope things go smoothly both with t and everything else! i've done the train thing from nyc to jacksonville...long, long ride...lots of time to think...also done the car thing to florida...about the same only you get to stop at the worlds largest free standing sombrero .(oh boy!) and sing at the top of your lungs and hopefully no one complains... stumpy  florida..its warm there...& no snow...i like the no snow thing... |
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#4
Feb 08, 2010, 11:44 AM
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Congratulations on your sobriety. Good work.
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#5
Feb 08, 2010, 11:58 AM
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Nice to see you back, Pink! I'm glad you are feeling so well
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#6
Feb 08, 2010, 12:58 PM
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Welcome back Pink! It sounds like you are doing such hard work; and it's work that can't be done in the context of the T relationship which probably makes it doubly hard. I absolutely LOVE that T held your time slot for you. That is such an amazingly beautiful gift. Best of luck with your continued work and your reunion with T. Let us know how it goes.
__________________
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#7
Feb 08, 2010, 01:08 PM
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it is so awesome that you have stayed sober for as long as you have! and for taking th initiative to take care of YOURSELF. you feel good, and that's all that matters!! i mean, an IOP is such a huge step for anyone, because of the commitment and the intensity. but coming out of a seven week treatment, you understand all of that!!
i am just so happy for you!!
__________________
MCLEAN HOSPITAL ALUMN!! www.mylifeintreatment.com there is a LOT of personal information on there from my current hospitalization and it may not be for everyone, but it's a good read! please PM me anytime, day or night... i am always awake and wanting to talk!! We'd never know what's wrong without the pain Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same |
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#8
Feb 08, 2010, 01:09 PM
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Hi pinksoil! You don't know me because I just starting posting here, but I wanted to add my congratulations on your sobriety and welcome you back. It sounds like you've done a lot of very hard work and accomplished so much over the past few weeks; you should be proud, and I'm sure your T will be, too.
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#9
Feb 08, 2010, 01:10 PM
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I am awed by your inner strength!
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#10
Feb 08, 2010, 03:10 PM
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Pinksoil, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
What great news. I am really proud. You done good! Have a great reunion today with your T. 
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#11
Feb 08, 2010, 04:55 PM
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congratulations, pinksoil!!!! i'm so happy and proud and excited for you. it really sounds as if you've found this huge well of inner strength and you're drawing on it and capitalising on it right now. keep up the great work!!
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#12
Feb 08, 2010, 05:04 PM
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pink, it is great to hear the good news of your recovery progress!
 It's great to see you here... keep coming back 
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#13
Feb 08, 2010, 05:07 PM
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PInk... Way to go!!! Super congrats on your sobriety. What a great posting. YOu seem so positive and eager to move along in your life and I applaud you for that. Thanks for posting and again, CONGRATS!!!!!
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#14
Feb 08, 2010, 06:05 PM
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(((pinksoil)))
Welcome back!!! I hope your session with T goes well, but more importantly I'm so proud of you for kicking a very tricky addiction. :applause: :applause: : pat-on-back:
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#15
Feb 08, 2010, 06:20 PM
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Welcome back Pink. Nice to hear that you weathered those challenges.
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#16
Feb 08, 2010, 06:37 PM
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WOW, Pinksoil! You have accomplished something MAJOR. And you have your support system in place already which will make life that much easier for you. I know, its no picnic coming back to the real world situations after rehab, but with meetings and groups you'll do great!
WELCOME BACK! |
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#17
Feb 08, 2010, 07:30 PM
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Quote:
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#18
Feb 08, 2010, 09:45 PM
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That's soooo great!
I'd imagine this will change how you see a lot of patients medications going forward. Also wondering about your feelings regarding the doc who prescribed the benzo's. Are you still seeing him/her? Are you able to talk about this experience? Do you think he/she will see things differently? It's so easy to get addicted to them. Even docs who I really respect seem to over prescribe them tho. But, I do think docs are beginning to see the results now - they've got a lot of addicts on their hands. Congratulations on your sobriety! You did an amazingly difficult thing. Slippers |
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#19
Feb 08, 2010, 09:54 PM
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WOW! That is AWESOME news! CONGRATS!!!!
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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#20
Feb 09, 2010, 01:59 AM
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Welcome back, Pink, and congrats! That's hard work and you did it. Good for you for committing to YOURSELF! You are totally worth it. Awesome news!
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#21
Mar 03, 2010, 12:41 PM
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Way to go girl - very proud of you.
__________________
You are not too much for them. They are not enough for you. ~E. Bennings |
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#22
Mar 03, 2010, 02:27 PM
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Congratulations and welcome back. I'm glad to see your back!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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