recurring hospital dream

Hi, Billi here

I have thought about posting this in the Sleep Issues board, but I believe this is more of a therapy issue than a sleep issue.

I have this recurring dream almost every night and it's about this mental hospital that I have been going to for the past eight years.

the setting varies---sometimes I am in a room that looks like a storage area with sleeping bags full of other patients around me, or I'm in a yard with other patients, or in a ward.

It is very vague and hard to describe, but the feelings I have are very clear and very real.

I am terrified and always trying to escape.

Sometimes I do escape but am always terrified of being caught.

See, I was mistreated in the mental health system because of a certain diagnosis.

And I am aware of us being mistreated in general because many (not all, I know) mental-health people think we are not people and have a right to slap us around).

Anyone else here been mistreated by mental health pro's?

Any nightmares you can share with me?

Let's talk about it!

Billi

PS:

I have left this hospital (in real life) because of this mistreatment.

B.

The hospital I have been in is really pretty wonderful, generally considered the better one in the Dallas area. The staff is very caring and stable with very little staff turnover. I have never felt mistreated there at all. I have heard about the other psych units in the area, and I know I am very fortunate to have never had to experience them.

I don't think its unusual to have negative experiences within the mental health field, but I think that too is balanced by those that do go that extra mile. Its a grey area because I know some with mental health issues, especially Personality disorders and psychotic disorders can also get confused, but talking over our feelings with someone we can trust can help resolve any issues we are having, whether they be "real" or "imagined"

Yes, I've observed many a patient who was belligerent, often psychotic, and complaining about being mistreated in the hospital, but at least in the hospital I deal with, they weren't being mistreated, that was their imagination running amuck.

But from the anecdotes about other hospitals, there were some pretty awful things going on in them. Mattresses on the floor instead of a bed. No access to pdoc's even though that is required by law. Being ignored or spoken badly to. These were the stories from people who had experienced those hospitals and were really praising the care at the one we were in.

My advise is to try to find out about the hospital options in your area ahead of time it at all possible. I was fortunate that this was the hospital my insurance sent me to. It is hard enough having to go into the hospital as it is; no one should go away having been mistreated.

Sometimes I do dream about going into the hospital. It usually has something to do with my mood starting to feel out of control and the anxiety that causes.

In college, I was put into a mental institution by my parents for attempting to leave home after a fight. I was chemically restrained a lot and received no treatment for my real problem which was physically and mentally abusive parents. A psychiatrist I was seeing in the same city as the hospital and who knew my background, was never called though I begged them to. He was flummoxed when he found out what happened to me. I have his patient notes and he also could not believe how much I was tranquilized.

36 years later I can't think about the event without becoming upset.

yep, pretty much, in real life, they chemically and psychologically restrained me.

I plan to not go to one anymore UNLESS I AM A DANGER TO MYSELF OR OTHERS.

I get my support now from these groups and from a private therapist and a sponsor.

I don't like to complain, either, however I am totally for telling on facilities that do truly mistreat. Shame on them!

And some of us are very lucky to have professionals who treat us well.

They are out there, but like good friends or mates, they can be hard to weed out...

Billi

Hi Billi,

I'm sorry you had such a terrifying experience in the hospital. It is never right for any healthcare professional to abuse a client, and I am thankful you now have some kind and competent help.

Your dream is interesting -- I can easily see how it might be a 'flashback' of sorts about the hospital, but the dreamworld also speaks to us through metaphors. It made me think that the hospital is generally viewed as a 'healing place'. But, for you it became the opposite, a traumatizing place. So, you are left without a 'healing place' to go in your dreamworld that is safe.

I wonder, if you could create a 'perfect healing place' for yourself, what might that look like?

I ask, because when I was stuck in the hospital all I wanted was to sit on the grass and feel the sun. I would imagine myself feeling the warmth and the softness of the grass. The hospital did not give me what I needed, so I tried to imagine it for myself. If you can create a place like this in your conscious mind, then maybe in the dreamworld you can escape that horrible hospital once and for all and find yourself surrounded by whatever you need most to heal.

Just an idea...feel free to ignore and just accept my kind wishes. Thank you for sharing your dreams with us.