if you dont want to give your real age, how about a range like:
20s
30s
40s
50s
60s
70s
80s
90s



do you think age difference matters?

[jexa]

I'm 22, my T is 36. I think this gap is about perfect. Age is a factor, IMO. I couldn't open up to a much older person, above 60's, because I am somewhat scared of old people. I also couldn't open up to a person too close to my age because I would feel judged. I need a T to be between "old enough to be my mom" and "big sister." Some others may not feel that age makes much of a difference. But it does to me.

My T is about 20 years older than me....it contributes to a lot of transference/mother issues, but I also think that dynamic is really healing too. Difficult, but healing.

[perpetuallysad]

I'm 34 my t is 65. I am glad there is an age difference like that. I visited one t that was my age and it was a disaster.

[BlackCanary]

I'm 45 and my T is 51. I feel like we are basically the same age, which is OK.

I would not be comfortable seeing a T who was much younger - even 30 or 35 would feel odd because the T would not have so much life experience as I have. I have this problem at work, hard to respect a much younger person who might be assigned as my boss.

I could see a T who was 10-20 yr older, no problem.

I would want the T to also be married and be a parent. The experience of both of those roles (spouse, parent) are so complex that I cannot imagine trying to explain it to a T who does not know these things personally.

My T is about 10 years older than me. It feels just right.

[sw628]

Im 24 and T is 39. I like the age difference.

[gravyyy]

I am 27 my T is probably in her mid-to-late 40s. I feel that's a fine age difference for me. My last T was probably in her mid-to-late 30s and that worked out well too. I do think age makes a difference b/c I would never be able to see someone my age or younger. That would be odd (especially since I'm not that old to begin with). Someone too much over 50 I would think would feel like is "out of touch" with my experiences today as when they were my age their experiences were much different environmentally and socially. Different times, different cultures. Just my opinion though. Good thread Solarwind!!! Thanks!

[mixedup_emotions]

I'm 35....and my T is 40....

[ECHOES]

Old and Older

Yes, I need a T who is older and wiser.

[chancy512]

I am 43 and T I believe is late 50's. It's perfect. I definitly need a T about 10-15 years older.

When I had a T, I was 16/17 and he was approaching 60. Even though there was a huge age gap, we worked together very well.

[deliquesce]

how do all of you know your Ts age? i've always wanted to know pdoc's but i'm scared to ask. my guess is he's late-30s/possibly 40.

austin-t just turned 45. i'm 25.

i dont know if age is a big deal to me or not, since all the Ts/pdocs/drs i've been to are about 40ish i wouldn't have anything else to compare it to.

[notz]

I am 56, pdoc is 55. We get on well. We have a similar level-set due to age sameness.

I could never have a way older pdoc (age/authority issues) but not a really young one either...I'd be running circles around them (because I could) and wasting our time!

[WePow]

I am 39 and T is 45 or 46 (not sure exactly). It is perfect because he is a father figure to my Little One alter who needs that at this time. And it is perfect for me because he is a male my age who is "safe" and not trying to have sx with me. That is something I needed to experience so I would trust men again. A perfect match.

[jexa]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

how do all of you know your Ts age? i've always wanted to know pdoc's but i'm scared to ask.

Oh I found out a naughty way.. I looked her up on pipl.com when I first started seeing her. I bet she would tell me if I asked, though. She self-discloses a lot.

[googley]

I'm 26 and my T is in her early thirties. I think that is working fine. I think it is letting me deal with some issues I couldn't with my last T (who I loved) because she was probably in her fifties and was much more of a mother figure (though I needed that at that time so it worked out well also).

Originally Posted by deliquesce

how do all of you know your Ts age? i've always wanted to know pdoc's but i'm scared to ask.

My T asked me one day "how old are you again?" And I told her...and then I asked her "How old are you?" And she told me. It was easy to guess, though because I know how old her kids are and could infer her age within a few years. But it's nice to know for sure.

I am 48 and T is 62 and I found his age about ten or twelve years ago. I was seeing him originally with hubby (now ex-h) and he asked T point blank,"How old are you" and i almost died, i would have never and have never asked t such a direct question... but he was just fine in giving his answer... maybe he was too shocked to think up a quick comeback, who knows????

great question!!

I'm almost 47 and my t is early to mid 50s.

I am about to turn 50, and think my T is a bit younger than me maybe mid 40's, but I've never asked exactly...I think my emotional age is so young that it is fine that she is younger!

[velcro003]

29 and my T is 56. I think it works well/is difficult because of mother issues. Shes actually older than my mom. I can imagine it would be hard to have a T younger than you.

[polarsmom]

I'm 39 and my T is 40 or 41. Not positive on his age. We are very close in age. At first it was strange. But I really like it now.

[Fartraveler]

me:56 her:75

It works, she's really great. I'd have a hard time working with someone younger than me. I doubt I could really respect them.

-Far

[lily99]

I'm almost 19 and she's in her mid 40's I think. And yes, the whole mother figure thing can be hard, but I also like it this way