Im still here

Hi all

Im sorry I have been MIA with no word. Im sorry. I have been doing well, but I am finding it hard and triggering to go to my computer at all. Im not completely sure why, but I think it has to do with being in my head rather than being grounded in the present.

I have been doing yoga and mediating 24/7. I definitely think it is a bit too much, but the poses and movement in my body are so grounding to me (especially in this spring season) that I am doing it at night when I would have time to go to the computer and read here. I am finding that mediating on peace for myself, for those I love and those I dont love and even all of nature and all beings connects me to the plant and makes me feel safer. I feel more open to the present moment than I ever have in the spring. Maybe more than I ever have before. It could be that I havent been here because talking about how unsafe I feel in the spring makes me feel more unsafe. When I feel the steady earth below me and the steady heavens above me, I know Im okay.

I have my little girls doing yoga with me and my teenage girls! This is a miracle! My big girls are coming to class with me. (The boys are not, lol!) I think the peace and connectedness I feel can be felt by them as well. I have been MUCH more present to my family spending this much time with it and I hope I dont have go on forever doing yoga and mediating in the morning, late morning, between chores, afternoon and on and off all evening. I dont even know if its a crutch I am using and maybe a negative thing. Sigh. But its what I have to do for today. Its as if listening to the rhythm of my own breath connects me to the breath and flow of my household and its so soothing that I have to do this and live this way for now.

I'll come back here. I miss everyone and I havent been following what is going on with everyone and I think about you all here all the time. I didnt really "consciously" take a break. I guess I just need this break. I will answer my PMs soon Im sorry I didnt answer them sooner.

love and hugs to all of my friends
Namaste

hello there. I wondered how you were doing.

(((((((((((BlueMoon)))))))))))))

It sounds like you are doing just what you need to do. I think that's awesome

((((Blue)))) I was wondering how you were doing after your crazy week! You told us you would be busy this week I think (or did you tell me that in a PM?). I think the yoga sounds very healthy, not like a crutch. It is making you feel better and keeping you grounded. That is awesome. If it is making you feel good and it is healthy, does it matter how much you are doing it in the day? Is it interfering with the life you want to live (the values you uphold)? If not, then is there a problem? Just something to ponder..

I think it's especially awesome that the kids are doing the yoga with you! That is my dream.. to have a family where exercise is part of the fun and something the family enjoys together (not something that is done for body image reasons, self-punishment, etc).. it sounds like your family is healthy, happy, and active - that's really great.

What treehouse and jexa said. Keep doing what works for you, and thank you for popping in to tell us about it!

(((((((bluey)))))))

so glad to hear you are doing well and finding ways to cope with spring. that is so great! i love what you say about the steady earth and the steady heavens but i have to admit i giggle at the "steady earth" because i live in earthquake country.

thanks for checking in Blue Moon!
You are missed, but the most important thing is to take care of YOU, and I'm so glad to hear you are doing that.

I think that you have a good plan there Blue! Good work!

Thanks everyone . I guess I must be feeling grounded enough to spend some time on the computer tonight. So, here I am

It has been a crazy busy week. I even had to cancel therapy this week. I had a 9:30 therapy appt monday and my kids are home for vacation. I just could not get out of my house. The little ones were clinging to me and crying mommy, mommy. I had 1000000 things to do for them and it was getting later and later so I called and canceled. I was thinking I could have even brought them with me. It would have been somewhat better than canceling altogether. I coiuld edit my conversation and it would have been fine.

Jexa- The reason I think it doesnt interfere with my life is that I do yoga with my kids if they dont give me the time alone. And, you know, about that dream of kids exercising. The kids do whatever you do and whatever you are enthused about. My kids always ate lentil soupe, tofu and seitan. They love it, but many of their friends couldnt imagine eating that. They grew up eating vegetarian food (only some are vegetarian, I do make chicken and meat for the ones that arent).

Bloom- Its so funny you say that, because when I think about the earth being the stability under me I wonder what if there was an earthquake and it wasnt so steady! Well, the inner core of the earth is steady even if the shaking crust wasnt exactly "grounded."

I so appreciate everyone's replies to me. I havent exactly been a supportive member of the community here lately. I feel like if Im not supportive enough I dont deserve support for myself It feels loving. Maybe I can mediate and breath on that

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They also support who only sit and do yoga with their kids.

Thanks, FZ

Thanks for supporting those who sit and do yoga with their kids .....and the dog...who is a show-off when it comes to yoga.....

((((((BLUE))))))