Just Got Dumped by my T

That really sucks that she made you late for class - did you stay for the session, or just leave?

Yeah, I'm thinking of becoming a T too, and at least I have learned something from this experience, and some other crappy therapists too... about how NOT to run a practice. I just wish I could find a decent therapist... they seem very few and far between. This isn't the first less than wonderful experience I've had, although it has been by far the worst. The last therapist used to answer the phone all the time during sessions, and sit there telling me about her personal life instead of helping me out. How are you supposed to find a good one?

Is there a university nearby with a psychology graduate department? You could call the psychological services clinic at that university and ask for a referral. Just look up the university, and "psychology clinic" or "psychological services" and see what pops up. Psychology students who are directing clinics are actually surprisingly good sources of referrals. They are excited about psychology and haven't burnt out yet, and they have a lot of resources. It was where I found my T. The person I talked to gave me a list of names and when she named my current T she said, "Oh, and she's really good." So she was the first one I called. And she is amazing. Best T I've ever had.

Another thing is to see if they will talk with you on the phone before you come in. You can call around to a bunch and see if they will consult with you on the phone. If they refuse, then it's possible the T is only in it for the money. My last T would not consult with me on the phone and her secretary scheduled my appointment. And she didn't turn out so well. My current T started with a phone consultation with me (which was free) before I came to see her. Of course I was so nervous I couldn't ask the questions I meant to ask, but it was a good sign. She also scheduled the appointment with me, not a secretary, which I liked. Another thing is that she was so nice and soothing on the phone with me. She was a good listener and I could tell. So keep your ears open for that when you look for a T. Check how you feel after you first talk to them. Do you feel understood, or do you feel like they didn't get it? Do you feel confused? Trust your gut. Don't keep seeing a T who doesn't feel right to you.

That's a really good idea about asking for a phone consult. What I have decided to do for now is go to the university counseling center, since I'm a student. I'm hoping that either I'll get a professional who isn't in it so much for the money since they'll be working for a salary rather than being paid per hour, or else, like you said, I'll get a student who is more enthusiastic. (I just hope, if it's a student, that they know what they're doing! I had an experience with an intern before, and she was very nice and caring, but not really all that effective.)

Oh, yeah they'll probably stick you with a student at the counseling center. That's not so bad, depending on the student. Like you said, lack of experience can mean they're not as good. But if you're already in the counseling center and the student's not working for you, they should be able to give you a good referral to someone in the community who is a decent T. Just ask if they can give a referral for someone who's a good T with experience with your concerns. If it's not working out, you have the right to ask for someone else, and they have the responsibility to give you a proper referral!

Also remember that students are only there temporarily.. if you are looking for a long-term T, you may want to go into the counseling center and tell them you're actually just looking for a referral if they know a good therapist around.

A very big load. I'm so sorry this happened to you, yet I am also glad that you now have the opportunity to find a more mature, more stable and more caring therapist.