[TayQuincy]

After a really good session today, I broke down crying as i was walking to my car. It's not like me at all. It was a good session and I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I shared feelings about her and my fears of losing people and being alone. A part of me was feeling very needy and yearning for something. My T was completely engaged with me and hearing me. It was a great session. I felt like my needs were being met, but then the tears started flowing when I left. I was hurting about something, but don't know why. I realized that I can't stand to feel sad, or any feelings that make me cry. I can't stand to be alone with those feelings. T told me that she is more comfortable crying alone than i am. I had asked her if she cries alone or if she gets comforted by someone. she said both. It made me feel good that t hurts sometimes and cries (not that I want her to hurt). She said do i not think she is human? I know she is human, i love her for it. I felt un-alone (don't know how else to describe it). Why would I break down after such a good session? I really confuse myself sometimes!

That's happened to me several times...I think some sessions--even really good ones--stir up a lot of feelings, and not always immediately. Sometimes T will say something and I won't react to it for several minutes--or even several hours later!

Plus, there's an element of sadness when you've had a great session and feel vulnerable and "held" by T, and then you have to re-enter the world again on your own. Sort of like culture-shock.

Sometimes I wish I could stay in that vulnerable place in T's office forever, because it feels so good to be connected and understood.

[gravyyy]

erhaps it was just a response to allowing youraelf to be more vulnerable. For me, allowing my guards to drop or allowing myself to actually feel or process something makes me often feel like crying. The difference for me is that as soon as I feel that I instantly put the guards back up and stifle the feeling. That being said, crying is completely natural and normal and healthy and you should feel proud for allowing yourself the opportunity to experience pure emotion. You're a really strong person to allow someone (even T) see you at your most uncomfortable and vulnerable time. So bravo to you!! I don't think this is unusual to cry after a particularly intense (but good) session. It's like a release. It gets rid of the tension and all that and allows you to regroup basically. SO again, I'm glad your T was able to help you with this process and I'm glad you trust T enough to allow yourself to be so exposed. You must be doing really good work there!! Take care!!

[TayQuincy]

thanks griffin and gravyyy for the insights about what might have been going on with me. And I completely agree with you both. I think it was a response to being so vulnerable and some sadness at having to go back into the real world after session. I did cry in session too, but it was different, plus we ended on a good note. The session did stir up a lot of feelings, and it must have been a somewhat delayed reaction to all of it. I almost wanted to call T afterward. I just wanted the pain to go away quickly. Ahh, therapy!

I would tell your T that it stirred up a lot for you and that you continued to cry after session.

My T likes to know stuff like that so that she can better gauge how a session affected me later.