[gravyyy]

I left my T in November 2009 because I moved to a different state. She called me every 2 weeks after that to check in. We would talk for 45 minutes every time which is the regular length of my sessions with her. I last talked to her about 5 weeks ago. A little over a year ago I promised to give her a recipe for my grandma's stuffed cabbage (it's like the best food in the world). I never followed through with it. It's been on my mind since last year. I started the recipe and just couldn't finish it up so I couldn't obviously give it to her. Today I decided I had the ambition to finish the recipe so I printed it off along with a short letter to her. I basically told her that I have a lot of unfinished projects including this one and it was important to me to follow through with it. I told her even if she doesn't use it or doesn't want it, it was a sign for me that I can and will get to all the projects I haven't been able to finish. I feel bad because I don't want her to think I did it so she would call me again or anything like that. I truly did it for me. Is this a weird thing? SHould I not have mailed it? Too late now to chane anything but I am just afraid it's inappropriate or weird. What do you think?

[jexa]

Nah, I think it's fine! I think your explanation is perfect. If I were a T I would just believe your explanation and be pleased you sent the recipe. I might call you because I was grateful and thinking of you, not out of a feeling of obligation.

[rainbow8]

I agree with Jexa. You explained that you did it for YOU as well as for her. How's it going with you? Do you have a new T?

[ECHOES]

Seems fine to me
Maybe you wanted to let her know you are doing well and still working on you.

[Chronic]

I think you did the right thing- she will be be pleased to hear that you are doing well. I think Ts dont read as much into actions as we do

[darkrunner]

Hey Graavy,
Not only do I NOT think it's weird, but I think it's awesome!
Good for you!
I'm just curios - you said you were talking to her every 2 weeks, and now you haven't talked for 5 weeks. Was this planned? Or did it just happen.
You said you didn't want her to think you sent the letter because you wanted her to call you again. Do you want her to call? Could you call her?
You don't have to answer....I'm just thinking out loud.

[chaotic13]

I don't think it's weird. Sounds like you explained why it was on your mind to finish it.

[gravyyy]

To clarify a bit, yes I do have a new T where I live now. Before I left T asked if it would be okay if she called to make sure I was doing okay. I tol her I didn't want to be an inconvienence to her but she insisted it was fine and that even if I didn't want her to, it would make her feeel better. about 5 weeks ago she said that their administrator said she could no longer book me into her schedule. She said she would still like to call in a few weeks to check in. I told her thats fine and that there wasn't a set time for her to call b/c of my work schedule but that b/c of my job I could really answer the phone any time. She hasn't called and I'm okay with that b/c I'm starting to feel better and I'm very slowly developing a comfort level with new T. That was old Ts biggest concern is me moving and all that when I was in a depressed cycle and not having a T I could work well with. Old T and I had a great working relationship right from the start. New T and I are working at it. I absolutely could call her if I wanted to and I know she would call me back right away. I know that line of communication will always be there. I really and truly feel like I sent the recipe because I wanted to follow through with something and not b/c I was trying to manipulate her into calling me. If she calls me or doesn't call me I am fine with it I think. Thanks everyone for your support here. I do feel better about the decision to mail it after hearing your opinions!!!

[WePow]

Gravyyy - I think it is a wonderful thing to finish up. And I think old T will love it~!

[Perna]

I don't think your motives matter, since they're yours and so, 100% okay, whatever they are. Suffice it to say you wanted her to have the recipe you promised and you got around to writing it out and sending it to her; good for you!

hi Gravyyy (lots of y's!!!)

i think it is a really nice thing for you to do. and your old T i think will see it as (a) nice because you promised it and still remember and (b) a token of "closure" for you.

seriously if you wanted her to call you still, there are alot more annoying ways of trying to get her to call than sending a stuffed cabbage recipe....right? (i can think of a ton! )

this is a very nice gesture and i think she will be happy.

PS: what is stuffed cabbage?