Time to call it quits

I have had several T's over the past 5 years. The first one was great, we were together for like a year but he decided I needed DBT and sent me on my way. I'm schizoaffective, dbt wasn't what I needed. So I blew through a few dbt T's, and it wasn't working for me at all. Finally I settled in with a guy a year and a half ago. The last few months it's been a merry-go-round from hell. Every week it's the same few things..."you have a fixed delusion", "maybe you should try exorcism"... It's a pisser when the one person your supposed to trust doesn't believe you. So I bit the bullet and left a v-mail saying I was taking a break for a while, I was very calm about it. He calls hubby and tells him I am in crisis. I'm not in crisis. Now hubby is watching me like a hawk.
I see my psychiatrist ever 6 mos, that should be enough for now, right? I mean, heck, I'm schizo,no amount of therapy is going to change that. I just can't start again....explaining my history and the different dx's and the meds and my family of origin...YUCK.

Did you address how you felt with your T - about your feeling that T doesn't believe you?

Leaving a voicemail to take a break can be taken all sorts of ways, so T may have decided to act on this out of concern, because he is unsure of your condition at that point in time. I have found that when things get too hard in therapy, I want to cancel or take a break....or when I'm soooooo down that I just don't have the energy or desire to share my misery with him. So, I can see how a T would do this out of concern.

I think it would be worthwhile for you to discuss your feelings with T.

No, I never discussed it with him, but he didn't give me a chance to either. Had he returned my call and spoken with me I might have been honest. I didn't even know he had my husbands phone number, I def. never gave permission for them to talk.
A big problem is I am extremely shy, and overly polite. In the past year and a half I did a lot of listening and no talking. Are there T's that can help someone who has a hard time talking? It's kind of a waste of time and money if I sit there listening politely week after week.

I've had to start over with someone new this month.
I'm pacing myself, and currently do not plan to go into detail about things I hashed through with my prior T.

While the therapy may not change your dx, there may be other things you'd like to change (behaviors, reactions) that can be addressed in therapy.

You may have to interview several providers over the phone before you can choose one or two to meet in person. I'm surprised your T was filling the silence with his own words. You may need someone who is creative, alternative, humanistic, flexible - ready to meet you where you?

good luck - I find that therapy is a very healthy habit, hope you can get benefit from it.

I am a little less bothered today. There is the T that did my psych eval/testing last year. He already has my history and dx. The only problem is that he thought I needed a female counselor. I am really uneasy with women, I don't trust them. I may shoot off an email to him today, he did tell me to email/call anytime if I ever needed anything. I just don't want to rush into anything quite yet.

There is a wonderful organization that could provide help/therapists for not being able to talk. It's for those with selective mutism, which is primarily children, but I think a T who specializes in treating those who "don't talk" would help you too. It's www.selectivemutism.org. Just a suggestion.

Hi Eileen2010,

I'm sorry you haven't found the kind of support you need from your therapists. It doesn't sound like you've found one that really understands you and what you need.

"maybe you should try exorcism"...

Huh?! Your t said that??? Seems odd. . .

Yea...I'm relieved that someone else thinks so. I knew he was a devout Catholic when I started with him, but I thought it would be a non-issue since he was a LMHW. Spirituality came up a lot, and the exorcism idea started at the beginning, but I just kept avoiding the subject. Then about 6 mos ago it hit me/ he thinks I'm demon possessed. That's why he kept telling me he didn't think my dx was right. I am such a HUGE FAILURE with the whole therapy thing.

Interesting, thanks. That does describe me as a child exactly. In my own home, or when writing I'm fine, but out there...yikes

Ummm, ok. Does the T not understand schizoeffective and psychosis?? Demon possession? Really??

I say you are better off without that T. Doesn't mean you should give up the search though. Someone out there can help. It took me a few years to find the right T and pdoc. Sending you my support and hopes.

Thnx Lauru, now that I see the exorcism thing in writing I'm a bit embarrassed that I let it go on for so long. I'm an educated person, why didn't I bail when it first came up? But he wasn't all bad, other then those comments, and the fact that I am unable to open up and talk. It was more like 45 min lectures each week...lol. I did get some good out of it, though.

Totally agree. BTW, I didn't even think the church did exorcisms anymore.

Hey, no need to be embarassed. Like it or not T's are authority figures, and I know I tend to think what they say is right and what I think is wrong. Besides, it gets tiring to go through T's and not find the right one. When I was looking, I started to doubt that anyone could help me. Then I got the right T and it's been great between us ever since. I was also recommended a new pdoc, so I switched. And surprisingly, this pdoc is the only one I know who cares, listens, and helps out. He always returns my calls the same day. He will adjust meds if a minor adjustment over the phone so I don't have to go in every few days since I pay out of pocket. You can find the right people for you. They're out there, don't give up!