Obsessing about time :(

I also let my T be in charge of the time. It feels really good to let him have this responsibility. It can be stressful enough to be in therapy and the difficult stuff I am revealing without worrying about the time. So I have always let T manage the time. He does a great job, which means he often gives me more time than I pay for.

I discussed this once with my PNP, because she has a desk clock prominently displayed. (My T does not.) She said there are clients who have to see the clock and those who don't like to. She also said that the ones who have to keep track of every minute of the time tend to cluster in certain diagnoses.

I used to look at the clock often when I was seeing my former T because I had 50 minutes and it went by much too fast. I wanted to be sure I didn't forget anything important before the time ran out. There was NEVER enough time.

My new T gives me 1 1/2 hours and it such a relief not to feel like there's not enough time! Sometimes, though it still doesn't seem like enough but I don't watch the clock like I used to. She has gone over the time sometimes and if I comment on it she says to let her be in charge of the time. I love that she says that! Former T would stop exactly at 50 minutes.

I see my T for 50 min. and sometimes it just flies by and other times, it feels like it's dragging out for ever, especially when I'm doing something hard. But she does have a clock where I can see it, and I like that - it helps me with pacing. My pdoc on the other hand, I'm only seeing for 30 min. right now and for him, even that's long, but he doesn't have any clock that I can see, so I have no way of guaging time, other than to look at my wrist watch, which for some reason feels really weird to me, so I'm always surprised when he says "that's it for today - I'll see you next week." It just feels really abrubt.

--splitimage

I wonder what those diagnoses are sunrise. Did she tell you?