Misconnections

Can someone please help me understand misconnections? Several on the board, myself included, have mentioned feeling complete panic when these misconnections occur. My former T called it "misconnection anxiety" although she never thoroughly explained it.

I am hoping someone can explain it in a way I can understand.

This article is a bit dense, but it covers the "alliance rupture"also known as empathic failure. The way I understand ruptures--- your needs and the therapist's response don't align during an incident. The process of hashing it out and feeling cared for again strengthens therapy AND your ability to cope going forward.

http://www.newschool.edu/uploadedFil...c_alliance.pdf

(from the article)

growlycat, thanks for the article link.

For me, misconnections occur in every relationship but they seem to be so much more magnified in the therapeutic one. I have often wondered why that is? A part of me, worries that if a "trained" professional can't help me, who can?

When ruptures have occurred in the past, I have felt panicked. Scared. Alone. Misunderstood. My experiences have been when I "try" to explain what I think it is I am feeling....I am wrong. I usually am the one to walk away. I don't know if I am "protecting" the person from me, or I am "protecting" me from the world?

Ruptures are okay, in RL or in therapy, as long as you don't stay withdrawn and you try to get back in it.