cancelling

Oceanwave · Aug 09, 2010, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa

I have my regular session tomorrow morning. Every time I think about it, my stomach cramps up and I feel like I can't breathe. I really really want to cancel. I have never cancelled or missed a session, but...this feels really strong. I don't want to go. I am already so anxious about it and there's no way I will be able to sleep tonight if I keep feeling this way. I think the only thing I can do is call my T and cancel, that way it's not hanging over my head.

I've tried to tell myself to just not worry about it and I can cancel in the morning if I want to, but I need to cancel now so I can not be so scared.

I guess I'm just hoping someone here will have some amazing insight that will help me out here. But just hugs are fine too

Zoo, my advice would be not to cancel. I have been in the exact same situation as you are now and I did cancel then. I regretted it, because the pain did not go away by itself. The way forward, in my experience, is to tell her where exactly you are now and how you are feeling. Hopefully you and T can take a step back from the trauma processing, step outside of those intense emotions for a little while and reflect on the bigger picture for a moment.

mobius · Aug 09, 2010, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Granted, we have gone far beyond that 12 weeks now, but I still think she is just trying to get me out the door as quickly as possible. I have told her more than once that I cannot process a lifetime of trauma in 12 weeks, and she finally quit saying that, but that doesn't mean she's quit thinking it. I know I haven't.

That sounds like an inordinate amount of pressure, zoo. And arbitrary too. Why 12 weeks?

zooropa · Aug 09, 2010, 10:51 PM

I don't know why 12 weeks, mobius. i think it's some thing, maybe the way exposure therapy is usually done, I don't know.

mobius · Aug 09, 2010, 11:03 PM

Hmm...I can understand why you might feel such a great tension between wanting to cancel and wanting to "push through" the trauma work if you feel like there's a deadline hanging over your head. I'm glad you were able to tell her that 12 weeks just isn't doable.

zooropa · Aug 10, 2010, 12:26 PM

anyway I have other trauma to process after we're done with this one, so god knows how long it will take.

Aug 10, 2010, 05:51 PM

((((Zoo)))))

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