[granite1]

it just feels so hopeless.i just need to post it is ok if nobody wants to respond i'm sure my wineing about the same thing over and over again is a bit tiresome and i'm sorry .i just have so much going on it helps to type and just get it out.i went on vacation and acted likke a total jerk engaging in real risky behavior and all.not a good thing i guess.but fun.i get home sat night and sun morning my farther comes over to ask me to get my step mom to go to hosp. i go over and she is real sick.i get her to go to hosp and bye that night they have her on a bi pap machine and by monday morning she went into total resp failer and i watched as the had to put her on a vent .my farther is looking to me to help him with everything!ask doc the right questions pay bills do laundry.everything.and deal with his crying and refusal to go into the hospital room.all this and all my other crap is really wearing on me.i called my husband to talk and he told me i better keep my T appointment and that was about the extent of his input.i went to T and if any have read other posts i said nothing.but this time i couldnt even draw or do some art i couldnt even sit on floor or anyhting.so T had me just moving my body and tapping on pressure points on my body .believe it or not it helps some.if anything it hepls my stomach stop turning from anxiety.but i really want her to know what is going on she has no idea that my step mom could die and that i am spending most of my time with farther at hosp and no sleep.she did say i looked tired.but i just cant get anything to come out of my mouth.anyway i want to send her an email i havnt done this exsept to try and cancel an appointment.i know she told me if i write letters that she is worried that it will take the place of my talking to her so she doesnt want that.i know if i sent an e-mail she wont be to happy about it but will try again to talk about it aand i wont be able to and it will frustrate her.but if i did send one this is what i would say .

hi i just wanted you to know that a lot was going on for me monday and it probibly wasnt a great idea for me to even keep my appointment.i just wasnt in a great place and my husband wanted me to still go and i really didnt want to get him mad at me also.he was the only person i wanted to talk to and even he wanted to just brush me off and send me to you.guess he wasnt in a great place monday either .anyway just wanted you to know and sorry.

[sittingatwatersedge]

(((((((((((((((((((( little granite )))))))))))))))))))))

I think it's very kindhearted of you to be there for your step mom and father, and brave too (I have been in this kind of situation it is so very scary and stressful, isn't it).

I am very glad to hear that you went to see T - that's some good advice your DH gave you - T is your own resource, even if not perfect yet, and it's perfectly riight for you to go there for support under so much pressure!!! Good for DH too!

if you are looking for anyone's two cents on whether or not to email your T - I say go for it!!!!! you need reinforcements at this point, and even writing the email will help you release some of the stress, and hopefully you'll get a helpful response from T which will do you more good.

Here's wishing the best for you ((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))

[QUEEN OF WANDS]

you need to talk about it,,you are going through alot and keeping it bottled up while trying to be so strong can wear you down quickly....i feel for you..i dont have any answers ,i am just beginning my own treatment(first appointment thursday) i hope you get the support you need..

[granite1]

SWE-i know t wont respond she wants me to talk not write.if she did respond i think she would call and that would send me into a total panic and not very helpfull.i would not even answer the phone.in my wildest dreams i would love to be able to send this e mail so i know she knows what is going on but pretend it never happened.and not say a word about it.i know she would never let that happen.and she would say i know her better than that to let me get away with that.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by QUEEN OF WANDS

you need to talk about it,,you are going through alot and keeping it bottled up while trying to be so strong can wear you down quickly....i feel for you..i dont have any answers ,i am just beginning my own treatment(first appointment thursday) i hope you get the support you need..

thanks queen.i hope you new journey is a safe one T can be so hard and i wish you lots of piece.keep me posted on how your attointment went

((((((((((((((granite))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry it's so hard to talk to T If you feel like you need to let her know what's going on, I think it's okay to send the e-mail, although, like you said, she probably won't respond. I send my T e-mails that he doesn't respond to, and it helps me just to know that someone knows what's going on.

Have you tried going to T and just talking about the weather, or her furniture, or..??? Or I wonder if you could bring a book you like a read a few pages from it. During times when I have been really really really afraid to open up my mouth and talk to T, I sometimes could manage to say "I'm afraid to talk" and just getting SOMETHING out of my mouth helped a little bit.

Hang in there. I know how stressful it is to be the support person for sick parents.

[Perna]

Granite, I would wait until your next session and then say at the very start; "My stepmother is in the hospital and I'm helping my father, I wanted you to know but I don't want to talk about it" or something of that sort.