[rainbow8]

I am in awe of the way my T gives me almost everything I ask for. I am used to having to "settle" for what is "second best". I do that to myself, thinking I don't deserve better. I don't give myself as many treats as I should. I feel guilty when I ask my H for things, even going out to eat sometimes. I just "settle" and get angry and depressed.

In the beginning of therapy, I said an hour always seemed so short to me in my years of therapy. With no hesitation she said we'd make it 1 1/2 hours.

I said it helped if I could email her after each session, and for her to email back. She said okay to that.

I said I wanted her to hold my hand. She said okay to that.

I said I wanted her to read some things I wrote and look at some pictures. No problem. She's thrilled.

I said my grandson was having heart surgery so she said she'd pray for him.

I said I was worried she wouldn't be back from vacation (what if she died?) She said she'd be back and she was.

There are more examples, but some are too identifying for me to post.

T's gifts make me feel like I can ask for something, and that I deserve to receive it. She makes me feel so loved. It's almost too much for me to grasp. I just wanted to share my insight of the day.

[Perna]

That's great, rainbow, that you're finally getting what you wanted from therapy and a therapist.

[looking4polaris]

This is fantastic Most importantly because it shows that you have been able to ask for what you need. Maybe I can learn from your good example...

[granite1]

very cool in being able to ask and accept.neither are easy

((((((((((((rainbow))))))))))))!!

I am so glad you're asking AND having your needs met

Having T be SO willing to meet my needs used to freak me out, because I was so not used to it. I went through a phase of asking for EVERYTHING in the world, just to see. Could I wear his watch? Could I try on his glasses? Could I go through his desk drawers? Could I take his rolling desk chair into the parking lot and have him push me around? Could I put things in the shredder? (no, yes, no, no, yes).

Now, I just really love it. I love knowing that I can ask for what I need, and if it's something I can't have, I won't get in trouble, or shamed, or whatever. And if it's something I CAN have, he'll give it to me, willingly, with no strings attached.

It's helping me learn the ways I want to say "yes" and "no" to my kids when they express their needs.

[REEG]

Rainbow, tree- I SO get this- have been trying to schedule 2x a week but the additional session has been during the day, and work has been chaotic, no way to get away the past few weeks. On Tuesday we had a mix up and I was there when T couldn't see me - the answer was NO, and said with compassion, she chatted with me for a few minutes, with an offer to get in earlier if possible.

The today, much caring from her and no negativity about my unending pit of needs- but a suggestion that it's okay to need support right now. Then the gift for next week- another opening for an evening appointment.

Asking for what you need- getting some (or maybe more) than expected- powerful stuff!

[rainbow8]

T is so nice to me that it feels like she loves me. It feels TOO good and I don't know how to cope with those feelings. It makes me want to tell her everything inside of me but isn't that giving her too much power? She's touching me (emotionally) the way no T ever has and I don't know if I'm going to survive it.