Approriate for not!

I have a question to ask you all, is it appropriate for a therapist to hug or hold a client if the therapist know that the client is attach or attracted to the therapist. I am feeling very confused between wanting to my therapist to hold me more and scare of it at the sametime. I am scare that i am not gonna be able to feel satisfy and will keep asking for more from her. And i am also scare of being arouse sexually when i am holding her and end up crossing the boundary between us.

The best thing to do is discuss it with your T. I know you said how good you felt when she hugged you at your last session, I think it was. I can identify with what you are feelings/worried about because the same feelings have been going on with me!

First, I think your T would not hold or hug you more than is appropriate, assuming she is ethical and has good boundaries. She knows you're attached to her, doesn't she? If you haven't told her about the sexual part, don't be afraid to. It's part of your therapy and T will reassure you about your feelings.

In my case, I wasn't sure how holding her hand would be, but it felt good, not arousing. But when she tapped on my hands for the kind of therapy we were doing, I had inappropriate sexual feelings. But, koala, that doesn't mean I crossed her boundaries! She wasn't angry or upset with me, just curious as to why that would happen. She's not going to do that tapping anymore, though.

The holding/hugging can make you feel good "all over". The goal is to fill up something inside of you that is missing. I thought I would want more and more too. None of my previous Ts would hug me or hold my hand. But a little goes a long way. I feel satisfied and loved just my holding T's hand. If it does feel arousing and uncomfortable, it is something to tell your T about. The way you react in session is not crossing a boundary. It's just something that happens and is not abnormal at all. Also, it's up to your T to set boundaries, not you. It IS up to you to tell her you're uncomfortable when you are, and for you both to decide how to deal with that. It doesn't mean she'll stop holding or hugging you, though.

Try not to worry, and see how you feel. It may not be a problem for you at all.

I told my therapist about the sexual fantasy i have toward her, she said i shouldn't be feeling guilty, ashamed and dirty about it. She said i won't pull her away by the sexual fantasy.

I'm very glad you told T about it! I like her answer! Does it make you feel better? I hope so.

Keep talking with your T and sharing the truth. An ethical T will know how to manage the space. The office is THEIR space. They are in charge. Your job is to continue to be honest about all of this.