[velcro003]

So I'm starting EMDR therapy, and today was supposed to be the first day where we try out the headphones/buzzer thingies. Well, something happened in between last week and this week, and thankfully my T (NOT my EMDR-T...i have two in one room!) talked with me about it first and how I was doing. It was weird because we are just starting EMDR with EMDR-T, so I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to do "normal" therapy with my T. I am SO glad I called her over the weekend to talk, because I think she got how upset I was and we talked about it for the first 20 min or so.

ANYWAY, today my EMDR-T talked about how deep breathing helps relax the body when it is tense, and we tried breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth...and i HATED IT. I actually really couldn't do it...I felt ridiculous and silly while I had two T's watching me. She kept asking me where I felt stuff in my body...and I was like "Uhhhh...I don't know."

I did manage to tell her that I really didn't like doing it, that I felt ridiculous and self-conscious. So she asked what I felt "in my body" when I was telling her I didn't like it. I said I guess my muscles were tense, and she asked to attach a feeling to it...I had NO clue.

So, she said shed' try out a few words and see how I felt. First word "fear." WELL THEN, EMDR-T! I told her that was probably correct, as I am fearful of most things Then she said "vulnerable" and I immediately said "Yeah, I don't like that word," and sort of shrunk into the couch.

I guess what I am getting at is---has anyone who does any sort of breathing/body sensation stuff...was this hard for you at first? I really really didn't like it. She said that its hard for most people because its new and unfamiliar, and by focusing on your breathing, it allows feelings to be more acknowledge--and i probably dont' want to feel those feelings.

There is a part of me that just wants to dismiss all of this, deem it as new-agey stuff. A BIG part of me. But, I also really have nothing to lose--regular T is and has been for awhile at a standstill. Does this stuff really help?

[rainbow8]

YES, Velcro! My T, who does Internal Family Systems therapy and EMDR, is always asking me where in my body I feel something. I hate that question so I usually say I don't know. She's okay if I don't know or don't want to answer. I think they ask that before doing EMDR too. I'm talking mostly about IFS when she asks me.

We do breathing if I'm anxious during my session. My T does it with me. I kind of like it. You get used to it. My T does yoga, and I started a class, not with her, and they want you to breathe OUT through your nose too. I have allergies and can't do that.

Stick with it, and tell the T if you're uncomfortable. I DEFINITELY think the deep breathing helps me to relax. I close my eyes so I don't have to see my T looking at me. But she closes her eyes too. It may be a little new-agey, but not really. Slowing down your breathing is part of any type of relaxation.

I hope you'll give it and the EMDR a try. Yes, it takes getting used to, but the Ts who do this kind of stuff are usually gentle and accomodating to your needs.

[Kiya]

ugh - hugs!
i alo struggle with breathing/awareness excercises. For one thing, like you, i feel silly and rediculous. But it also often causes severe panic and then flashbacks. So i do tend to avoid it nowadays.
I do hope it gets better for you!!!

[skeksi]

I've had that response, Velcro. The first time T introduced slow breathing and some relaxation stuff, in an effort to calm me down after a reexperiencing, it just about sent me over the edge of crazy. I felt so much WORSE. But I stuck with it and after a few sessions and T's promise that he would avert his eyes and not stare at me when I was doing it, I felt more comfortable. now I do it in my regular life sometimes.

You did great, trying the breathing and answering the questions! It sounds like you really made an effort.

[velcro003]

thanks guys. i wouldn't have thought it would be so hard to breathe I just am not convinced that all this breathing and knowing where things feel in the body make a difference.

[Kiya]

i think... i think it does make a difference... later. if you can stick with it. I was introduced to meditation and mindfulness/breathing like you were taught back in... i want to say 2003? And just this month I have been able to stick with a "soft belly" breathing excercise to relieve stress. you just sit comfortable, and as you inhale, you think "sooooooft" and on the exhale you think "bellllly" and do it for as long as you can/need. it actually relaxes much of the body and it good to use in stress situations as well as practice alone. I now use it in group therapy when i start getting stressed.

[geez]

Originally Posted by velcro003

I guess what I am getting at is---has anyone who does any sort of breathing/body sensation stuff...was this hard for you at first? I really really didn't like it. She said that its hard for most people because its new and unfamiliar, and by focusing on your breathing, it allows feelings to be more acknowledge--and i probably dont' want to feel those feelings.

For what it's worth I don't have experience with EDMR but when it comes to breathing I did hypnobirthing (it's not EDMR but similar in breathing) and it's all about breathing, relaxation, focusing on body sensations, and guided imagery. It was difficult for me to do at first as I had to do the breathing technique in front of the instructor and I questioned if it would really work (I also had some difficulty being able to relax). I did practice everyday for a month before the birth of my son. It got easier and I was able to relax on que when I started labor and I was able to allow the physical sensations to happen without tensing up. I let the sensations happen like waves and I focused on being aware if there was tension in my body (neck and shoulders for example) and I then worked to relax them through guided imagery (my safe place) along with breathing.
I'm not sure you will find any of this helpful? but at least now you can say you know a little something more about hypnobirthing