[WePow]

Well, I am at work and will go to session in 9 hours.
I kinda don't want to go but not sure why.
I asked T to set me up with something Friday due to insane work stuff. I just don't think I can make it without knowing I can see T Friday - but maybe I can. But he didn't answer me on that. Makes me think he may not know if he will be in the office. But the other part of me thinks he just doesn't want to talk to me when I need him the most. NO CLUE where I came up with that!

Oh and T may well be moving office locations. Still in town, but over to a different area of town that I really don't like but T likes it. I am such a baby with stuff like this.

And I have to bring up some topics that I do NOT want to talk about with trauma stuff.

Wepow, I can relate to the negative self-talk that occurs when T's don't respond like we want them too! Could it be that your T hasn't responded because he knows he will be seeing you today and he wants to talk to you in person about your request.

[Oceanwave]

Hi WePow,
So how did the session go today? I hope in the meantime you managed to get an appointment for Friday.

[jexa]

((((WePow)))) Many hugs..

[Miracle1986]

(((WePow)))
Thinking about you...

[WePow]

Well guys, thank you very much for being pocket riders. I really almost did NOT make it through work today without walking off the job.

Thankfully, my T was wonderful. I cried a ton (again) due to the stupid trauma stuff. He brought up doing EMDR with another T that he would bring into his office with him there with me. I said "Oh you get it how terrified I am of other humans!" He just looked at me so sincerly and said "Yes. I do." WOW !!!!!! I was all OMG!!!!!! HE GETS ME !!!!!!!! It takes such time to build that trust. And he said he was the same way with EMDR when his T suggested it. He said he told his T he would only do it with HIM there in the room to help. And his T did it that way.

My T also talked to me out the whole termination thing. He said that most T's care deeply about clients and would not just leave them and forbid any contact - stuff that would push a client over the edge. He said that he may have to make recomendations, but he would always be gentle and firm at the same time - not just drop someone like a hot potato. So now I don't feel fear about getting close to him and having THAT happen.

AND my T also did set me up with a Friday session. He is moving to a new office and will be painting it - so he said he will be in his painting clothes :-) Like I would mind. But he is going to his old office JUST to see me !!!!! I was like W O W !!! So I think I can make it two days of very bad work conditions because I know he is doing this just for me. That he cares that much!

I have to sleep now - the session was draining. But I feel safe with him. That is just blowing my socks off. I almost cried just him making a way to see me when he knew I would need him for real. Wow.

[skeksi]

I am so glad that your T showed you in so many ways that he is there for you. And I'm so glad that you can feel it, believe it, and depend on it.

[sunrise]

That sounds like a really good session. The talk about termination sounds so reassuring. You were brave to bring that up. Do you think you may do the EMDR? I like how your T tried to normalize it for you by telling how he did it himself. Very special that he is coming to his old office Friday while in the midst of painting so that you can have a session.

[chancy512]

Hang in there! I will be thinking positive thoughts for you to have an easy time waitng for your Friday appt.


I know all to well how hard it is to get through work when we are struggling. Stay strong.

[WePow]

Sunrise - I am still not sure about the EMDR - I don't know that other person and I am not sure if I want to be open with a stranger. In fact, I know I don't want that. I just want MY safe T to make it go away.