[silenthill]

13 days left for T to tell her side to the state,then it gos to the state lawyers
i'm not the person i use to be,i will never trust any one again

[Perna]

She did wrong and hurt you, find your anger. You have done well turning her in and protecting others from possible future harm from her and now it is time to turn to yourself and use your anger to help yourself. Do you want to be someone who never trusts again? How dare she abuse your trust like that! Don't let her get away with that larger crime; find a T who is trustworthy and continue your work to become the person you are meant to be.

[ECHOES]

Hi silenthill. Thanks for the update

Are you looking forward to the end of this? What are your feelings at this time?

She is not "any one". She is just she. A rotten she, but only she. She doesn't represent anyone but herself.

In the world there are all kinds of people, most are kind and good like you.
When this is resolved, I hope you will allow your desire to trust (we all have it) to return and that in time you can get some help with that. This has been a painful and long battle for you.

[WePow]

Silenthill... When I read your posts, I think about my own trust issues with people. And I think about how unfair it was that abusers took things from me that I can never replace like my childhood and my innocence... and even trust.

But you know what, Echoes is right. She does not reflect all Ts in the world. I have had my own battle of inner trust over my T - and he did nothing wrong at all!! But other abusers had stolen from me my ability to trust any other human in the universe.

You know what... trust is a precious thing... it is sacred and wonderful when it is there. And it is a RIGHT that each person has.

That T stole a whole lot from you... but you do have a choice to not allow her to continue to walk away with one of the rarest and most wonderful things your soul has the right to have... trust.

Don't allow her to take that. You will have to fight tooth and toenail to take it back! And you will run into issues that will make you question yourself all over again for trusting in the future. But don't let her steal that away forever. Find a way to have trust but guard it with all of who you are. The next time, give out just a small amount of it and allow that to grow on its own. Remember that trust does not have to be all or nothing. Knowing that I can give small bits of trust out here and there has saved me from great agony and pain that happens when the soul has lost the ability to trust.

I am not sure if what I said will make any sense to you at all. But I had to say it.

Originally Posted by silenthill

13 days left for T to tell her side to the state,then it gos to the state lawyers
i'm not the person i use to be,i will never trust any one again

I don't mean to sound harsh but which would you rather....Remaining with an ammoral T who takes your money and takes your trust; totally takes advantage of you and puts you in harms way or watch as she gets diciplinary action against her? The choice to trust again and find another t is your and yours alone. Your T has crossed many boundaries, many times and you excused her actions. I trealie you have a difficult sityation but it's time to stand up and take control of your life, if only for you kids sake.

C

[ECHOES]

It is completely understandable that abuse by a T would make a person feel as if it would be way too risky to trust again.

Silenthill, you have done an amazing job:

You recognized the abuse and unethical actions of your T. That took a lot of courage, to allow yourself to see her actions for what they were instead of what she tried to convince you they were. In the end, you are one she just couldn't fool.

You took action to defend yourself, to recover your losses, and to protect others by letting it be known publicly what had happened. That takes tremendous courage too, putting your own personal experience out there.

The feelings about not trusting again I think are about the feelings about how difficult this process is to go through. There must be many feelings about it that you have. Wanting to protect yourself from this ever happening again, it seems like never trusting again is the best protection. That makes so much sense that you would feel this way. This T was not worthy or your trust.

Yet, trusting again and finding the T to be trustworthy=worthy or your trust, would be a way to heal the wounds left by this experience. I hope you give yourself this opportunity. I wish you had a trustworthy T to help you right now through this situation, and beyond.

I am "stealing" from another post (sorry Melbadaze) but this reminded me of the situation with your T. She( your t) tried to pull you under with her, but you struggled and broke free. That must mean something...don't you think? You DO have strength ...in order to survive all of it you had to have strength. Use the strength in your favor now. There are trustworthy people in this world.

You all CAN do this! We know it!

[Riverview]

Whatever happened to this T? I hope they threw the book at her!