[granite1]

when i think about talking about all the hurtfull things in my life with my therapist i wonder how my theripist could handle what i have to say.how could she make me feel ok about how i feel.safe when i talk and ok about what i talk about.
anyone feel like letting me know some of the things there T's do to make them feel comfortable and safe talking to them about some real painfull things.just wondering

[jexa]

granite, the biggest thing that helped me share big things was share things a little at a time and see T's reaction. Just sharing something little first, seeing that she wasn't angry and she could handle it, helped me share bigger and bigger things. That's a big thing that made me feel safe, just being able to share a little at a time.

[jenkins09]

I personally dont think you could share anything with your therapist that they have not already heard or dealt with. Most are very skilled at handling these things, and if they dont know how to help, most have others that they turn to for advice. Do you feel like you have safe relationship with your T?

[rainbow8]

Every time I've asked my T if it's okay to talk about anything, she says "absolutely" or "totally" or something like that. She repeatedly says she is not going to judge me. When I asked at my last session if anything was TMI, she said "no, nothing is".

Of course someone could say that and you wouldn't believe him or her. It's the way trust builds up in the relationship that makes you believe your T when she says it's all right to say anything. She makes me feel safe because, in IFS therapy, the T is always asking you how your part feels, and how you feel toward it. Then you are telling your parts how grateful you are to them for being there. There's a built-in safety zone, sort of.

Ts are trained how to deal with hearing all sorts of stuff and they hear it every day. Once I apologized to my T for talking about death, and she said "I do this all day long." I didn't like her answer at the time, but it is true that Ts hear painful stuff all the time and they know how to make us feel safe when telling it.

[Sannah]

Can you share this with your T?

[jilliebeanmn]

Good T's are armed to the teeth with good coping skills and a good support system. My T has said almost NOTHING surprises him anymore, and everything is fodder for therapy. It took me a good 3-4 years to actually believe him and trust him in that.

I guess what I am trying to say is try to take care of you, not your T.

You don't need to worry about taking care of your therapist. Most of them have excellent coping skills and they really have heard most everything so nothing shocks them or is too hard for them.