[pinkpony]

hi..

i started seeing a new therapist after terminating with my old one. my old therapist kept indulging my wish to see her more more more..anyway thats not the issue right now ...but my new therapist knew what had happened with my old one (overdoing therapy)..and he doesnt work like that..
also with my old one i was used to getting replies to txt msgs within 5/6 hrs at most..
anyway with this new person im getting 1 session a week, and i only strted abt 3 wks ago and then he had a trip coming up so i had no appt for 20 days..anyway his trip got canceled & he told me 2 days ago thru txt (coz i'd asked him to tell me of sum1 else i cud go to in his absence if needed)..so i txted bak and said ok when do i get my next appointment for then and got no reply ..and i was pretty furious coz im not feeling ok at all these day..v v emotionally volatile, unstable, cutting every day etc..soo i told my dad last night tht i wanted to find a new doc (coz i felt like this person wasnt taking me seriously)..my dad said he'd talk to him first..but then forgot.
and by this morning i was pretty upset and didnt think my dad would get in touch with him, so i txted my doc myself this morning, i sent a VERY angry txt, i was real rude, basically i was like ive been waiting x no. of hours for a reply and ur not answering and i need to go to someone who has the time and wish to help, and if u dont- can u refer me to someone else....i was v. rude! which in itself isnt such a huge issue....i got a reply 4 hrs later giving me an appt for the end of this wk,
the problem is, i didnt tell my dad that i'd txted the doc and gotten a reply.
coz i thought he'd forgotten and wasn't gonna talk to him,
but my dad called him today...5 or 6 hrs after i'd gotten the appointment, and was like oh can u increase the frequency of sessions etc (coz thats what she was used to, so maybe taper her off?)..it was his fault too he could have started by asking how i was doing and approached the subject indirectly, instead of which he asked if i could have more sessions initially

obvs my doc was pretty mad (after my horrible RUDE txts in the morning, and then my dad calling some hours later), and said he knew wht he was doing, that im used to always getting my way and thats a huge problem too, and that when nothing else works i take stuff to my parents coz i know that way i'll get what i want, and that im used to getting a response right away, and that i better get used to his way of doing things, coz hes not gonna change his way to get used to mine
and that hes not gonna 'taper' me off and then cause disappointment later, so its better if i get used to this more 'normal' way of doing stuff,

omg he said so much stuff, but thing is it was all meant for my father and not for me...(but maybe he knew my dad would tell me and thats why he said all of that)
but..............i dont wanna go to my nxt appointment. im so scared! he got pretty mad today and im afraid he'll say something to me......im thinking of txting and apologizing that my dad called...(coz that wudnt have happened if i'd told him that i had an appointment)...but im afraid he wont reply to that text.....and i'll get even more scared that hes angry...and then i'll do something stupid like call the clinic to cancel.....plus if i txt and say im sorry my dad called u too, he'll KNOW that i know of all the stuff he said to my dad, and maybe its better if i pretend i dont know that he said all that stuff to my dad.......coz then i can go on acting the way i do.................does that make sense? :s
wht should i dooo

[gelfling]

aww, pinkpony, ((((hugs)))

your therapist is human and you just saw the human side. they get frustrated just like us.

texting an apology would be a good start, might make you feel a little better.

what should you do? i would write down what all this stuff that happened meant to you - how it made you feel, what your expectations from him are, what you need from him, how best to contact him - can you text, email, call -, so that the two of you can come to an understanding about the boundaries of this relationship. it may not be easy, but knowing the boundaries makes the therapy a safer place. Setting realistic expectations about your communications outside of the office may help with some of the hurt and anxiety you have felt these last few days.

At your session you can apologize about your text if you feel the need to do so, and then use it as the stepping off point for all these thoughts and feelings you have - sounds like this could be a good way for the two of you to connect and may help with the work you are doing - i hope that is how it works out for you

many many many hugs pinkpony

[pinkpony]

Originally Posted by gelfling

aww, pinkpony, ((((hugs)))

your therapist is human and you just saw the human side. they get frustrated just like us.

texting an apology would be a good start, might make you feel a little better.

what should you do? i would write down what all this stuff that happened meant to you - how it made you feel, what your expectations from him are, what you need from him, how best to contact him - can you text, email, call -, so that the two of you can come to an understanding about the boundaries of this relationship. it may not be easy, but knowing the boundaries makes the therapy a safer place. Setting realistic expectations about your communications outside of the office may help with some of the hurt and anxiety you have felt these last few days.

At your session you can apologize about your text if you feel the need to do so, and then use it as the stepping off point for all these thoughts and feelings you have - sounds like this could be a good way for the two of you to connect and may help with the work you are doing - i hope that is how it works out for you

many many many hugs pinkpony

thank u gelfling.........i have a feeling next session is gonna b about boundaries and thats why im dreading it....i am terrified of anything boundary-related and always always manage to take it personally... :s

i think i'll apologize through txt..but what if he doesnt reply to that either? ..itll mean more agony till the actual session.....and feeling even worse when i do get there... :s .....well i wont know til ive done it right...i think i'll apologize..but i have a feeling i wont get a reply... :s i feel like such an idiot for not being able to deal with such a little thing

btw i love the quote in ur signature

[ladyjrnlist]

Make sure you tell T how this made you feel, though. He should know that. My T said he won't see more than once a week usually b/c he doesn't want to enable me. But right now I'm seeing him twice a week due to an ongoing problem. In other words, if you need more sessions, your T should be willing to work with you, at least temporarily, on that. Good luck!

[pinkpony]

Originally Posted by ladyjrnlist

Make sure you tell T how this made you feel, though. He should know that. My T said he won't see more than once a week usually b/c he doesn't want to enable me. But right now I'm seeing him twice a week due to an ongoing problem. In other words, if you need more sessions, your T should be willing to work with you, at least temporarily, on that. Good luck!

thanks ladyjrnlist...yeah u have a point...he shud be willing to work with me when i need more sessions, and if for whatever reason he thinks its a bad idea, he should at least be understanding when i get frantic abt it.....esp since i just started therapy with him and am totally lost (in terms of what direction things r going in) atm......if hes not willing to see whats behind my temper tantrums (manifested in those txts) hes not a v.good doctor is he? ...or maybe im just making excuses....idk....im just scared of what he'll say to me (

[pinkpony]

im scared he'll say that im relying too much on therapy...coz i said in my txt that its been almost a month and i still feel like crap...he might tell me i need to look into other stuff to make me feel better, but NOTHING ELSE HAS WORKED FOR ME. im so so scared. what if he tells me this isnt 'it' either? (i know how stupid that sounds)

[pinkpony]

ok so i texted him...apologizing..over a day ago...and still have no reply..im so mad..and im scared he'll bring it up in session (boundaries) and i dont want him to...my next appointment is in a little over 24 hrs..thinking of calling and canceling, i dont wanna go, and plus he has to know its not ok :s

[pinkpony]

less than 24 hrs til my appointment. thinking of ODing on the ADs i have.....and or cutting.....feel so so bad

[rainbow8]

(((((pinkpony)))))

Please stay safe!!! It will be okay. You will and T will straighten this out during your session. It sounds rather complicated with your Dad talking to your T and telling you, etc. A good T should be on your side no matter what, though. He shouldn't get angry and scare you. If he continues to do that, maybe he's not the right T for you.

This would not be a good time to cancel your session. I hope you don't. It will help you to be able to sort all this our with your T and will hopefully make you feel more connected to him. Maybe you can get clarification on whether he will answer your emails, calls, and text messages.

Try to breathe and relax. I hope your session goes well.