[shezbut]

I saw my T today, and told him all about my worsening depression. Certain dark thoughts following me.

I had made a wish on my facebook page for my birthday. I wished for donations made to Mayo Clinic Epilepsy treatment center, and shared my very intimate experiences with epilepsy. I asked my friends and family to donate $10. I am very broke myself, so I can certainly understand times being much too tight for some to donate. However, I also know that a few of my friends are very well off.

No one donated. How freaking sad! My T reasoned that I blamed the people I asked for being cheap. NO! I don't blame them for not donating. Instead, I blame myself for not being good enough to donate for. The people who have been part of my life (at one time or another) have more important things going on in their lives. That is just a fact.

Doesn't that make sense?

My T said that my point is a very narrow view of the world. He sees self-hate and self-blame comments coming out of me. Reminds me to look at things from other ways, even if I don't believe those other ways.

I think that my point is much more logical and statistically accurate than his perspective! What are the chances that out of 35 people, no one can afford to make a $10 contribution?? 20 of those 35 people are freaking family!! 5 of the friends are very well-off. So, how in the heck does his perspective sound more likely than mine??

[skeksi]

When it comes to do something kind for others, people often think, "Someone else will do it." This is a very common phenomenon, and it's one reason that charities are always asking for donations--you have to keep reminding people their help is needed.

Keep in mind that no matter what we think we know about other people's financial situations, they may be hiding quite a lot. I have divulged to anyone the massive amount of debt I am in, for example.

Have compassion for yourself--you tried to raise money for a good cause, and the effort is what matters. Have compassion for your friends, too, and try not to judge them too harshly. Maybe if you share your story in person more and ask for the donation, you may get a better response?

I am impressed at your efforts to help the foundation. Its work is important.

[granite1]

shezbut i think you are an awsome person and glad to see you posting here again.just wanted to let you also know you are important

[shezbut]

Thank you skeski ~ True, we don't always truly know where people are financially. I shouldn't make assumptions. I tried...which is better than not trying at all I suppose.

Thanks for puting the perspective more logically for me to understand. I do appreciate it!

[shezbut]

(((granite1)))

Thank you for your kind words. You are sweet!

Hey! Are you trying to cheer me up or something?