[jazzy123456]

fighting internally with what my heart knows to be true and what my mind knows to be true....

have you ever felt like you knew the information, the details, the solutions to certain issues, they just could never resonate in your heart?

you know, you have the wisdom a lot of the time, you just can't figure out how to use it and put it into practice.

anywho, haven't had much of a chance to respond to other peoples posts or update.

And I'm kind of struggling with depression some days so I don't like to respond to things on PC, cuz I don't want to be all sad...I want to make people hopeful if I respond.

my last session wasn't bad but, it wasn't great either.
I still sense resentment towards me from her.

And she really didn't give me much peace about moving to school.
she said to schedule appointments "as needed"... as a way of ending therapy. she didn't want to make it official or terminate quite yet cuz I am moving. going to school.

and one of my family members died two days ago.
I feel kinda lousy but, happy all the same.

I just want to learn more and more how to "forgive myself"
as people we can work so very hard to get people to understand us
but, at the end of the day, I guess the best source to freedom is not only forgiving them but, forgiving ourselves for what we did and did not know to do.

I don't ever mean to hurt people. I don't do it intentionally.
but, I'm human. trying to be the best I can be. January 6th I move out of my parents house and everything changes. Not even allowed to email my T anymore. sounds wierd, think she'd let me cus of the transition but, I think I just overdid it on emailing. I truly feel like I'm on my own. Just me and God.

good luck to those on pc. sorry i've been super busy lately.

[WePow]

(((((((Jazzy)))))))))))

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

fighting internally with what my heart knows to be true and what my mind knows to be true....

have you ever felt like you knew the information, the details, the solutions to certain issues, they just could never resonate in your heart?

you know, you have the wisdom a lot of the time, you just can't figure out how to use it and put it into practice.

I so identify with that - it's like I know what to do about stuff, I just don't know how to do it.

I'm sorry therapy is ending for you, the transition period really sucks (as someone who really does know since I've done it... four times? in five years)
take care of yourself.

[Kacey2]

Jazzy,
I read something today and I thought of you. The words were on impermanence and how it is so hard to know that the only thing for certain in life is that things will change. Man, that does not sit well with me. Talk about a core issue. The book also talked about with a gain there is always a loss. That is my hope for you Jazzy, that through this loss of your t you will gain huge in the long run. I sincerely hope that you will find another t that meets your needs and exceeds the t relationship that you are leaving behind. I hope that after you get settled in (or maybe to help you settle in???) to colllege you will take a deep breath and try again. Find the courage to go for round two and see what happens. I think you can find a better match Jazz and you may find that the ending won't be so painful.

[Irine]

yes. there are hard times. Just us and God. All alone. I am sure that looking back after going through this we will realize that we are stronger and moving will not be as a big deal to us anymore.

I so much identify with having inner wisdom - and - you know - try to follow intuitively - even if you don`t know how - seek imagine - it will come!

Good luck to you. I am sure you are going to be fine. Even if it does not feel fine right now

((((((((jazzy123456))))))))