well, that sucked

thank you guys SO MUCH for your support, especially last night. I can't even tell you how much it helped to know you were here and I wasn't alone. Thank you for encouraging me, even TELLING me, to call my T and to reach out to her. I need to hear that sometimes. I don't know why, because she tells me the same thing, but it does help to have someone say "now is the time for T."


My T told me this morning that I have to get out of bed. I said "really? $hit." And I did get out of bed, I just didn't stay out. I guess it's okay, it's just a few more days and school starts and I won't be spending all day in bed. I'm trying not to feel too guilty about it.

I did text T at about 5 and told her that I haven't been able to stay up. I get up and then everything feels like to much and all I can do is go back to bed. I told her I'll try again tomorrow.

I'm planning on calling T a lot over the next week or so. I've totally given myself permission to do that, if I can find the quiet or privacy to do so. I'm going to need her this week, not just because she's out of town but because of everything going on in my life.

(((((Zoo))))) I am VERY glad that you continued to come to PC and use this support system in addition to your other rescources. You know I have done that myself and it is a HUGE support tool!!

It is "ok" for all of these emotions to be with you right now. Not a thing wrong with any of those emotions. And it is "ok" to give yourself some time to rest in the bed while you are getting adjusted. You know how to make sure you do what you need to do to take care of things... so do what is needed and then use the other time to rest. Give yourself permision to do that extra self care. You need that for yourself right now.

More big safe tender Zoo hugs!!!!!

(((( zoo ))))

I'm so glad that you're doing a little better today and that you're allowing yourself to call T when you need to during this difficult week ahead. THAT is a great step towards good self-care. Thanks for updating. I've been thinking about you a lot today.

((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))

I'm glad you're going to allow yourself to contact T as much as you need to.

When I just let myself do what I feel....not contact T on the weeks I'm okay, and contact him as much as I need to when I'm not...I feel supported (even if I don't ask for replies) and he has told me that it tells him how hard things are for me. He doesn't get angry, or exasperated. He gets curious, and supportive.

Good self care, zoo

I did basically nothing again today. I'm starting to feel a little more put together, though. I didn't call or text or email T.

Tomorrow I start moving and then on Tues we all start school. It's going to be a crazy, crazy week.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts this week and hope things go smoothly...

Good luck zoo. I'm crossing my fingers for you although I doubt you will need it. I think with your skills and your t, you will be okay. I hope you believe that too.

Good luck, zoo. It's going to be a hard week, but you'll get through it. All beginnings are hard, but then it will get better.

(((((((((((Zoo)))))))))

maybe, with my skills and with my T and with the support of you people.