When one session flops and spills over to the next

about my experiencing her as someone who would hang up on me, about the possibility of my harboring a secret desire to hang up on her.

What did you come up with on this?

At some point she told me that she thought I was brave for the things I will say in therapy. And she said I keep her honest. She said before that I kept her on her toes (I wasn't sure how I felt about that one at the time!). I like that she takes my questioning seriously and takes time to think and look within and respond with honesty. She told me again that she knows about herself that she has a rapid-fire tendency. She even apologized for doing that last session.

This gave me a chuckle because it reminded me off a quote from Marsha Linehan. She once said that one of things she enjoys most about working with her borderline clients is that she always feels like she has a supervisor in the room. I can totally see that.

We talked about the push/pull and how I retreat after a couple of sessions where I am relaxed and engaged. How that comes from my history of experiencing closeness that becoming overbearing and that it happened with unpredictability. This is a new area we are beginning to explore. Part of the unpredictability is of just from being a child in a family that didn't communicate and part of it for me is that I was a child with hearing loss that went unnoticed until age 5. I was nervous a lot, not knowing what was going on around me. A lot was unpredictable and for me, things assumed to be generally known through overhearing or even direct communication were not known because I couldn't do that.

Am I hearing you say that being relaxed an engaged las a child ead to a sudden shift in unpredictablity? If that is true than how can it be any different than now. Your pattern is very clear.

We explored a lot in an hour.

Yes you did a lot of great work Echoes. You should be very pleased with your willingness to explore uncomfortable things.