[Sweetlove]

Hi everyone

As I posted before, I am having a bit of a problem with my insurance. Well, its not really a problem...more like a roadblock. They are only approving 24 sessions for the whole year, which started in October and I've already used up about 15. I was planning on starting twice a week but this really put a wrench in my plans. I finally admitted I was ready to start really working and dealing with things and asked for help. After discovering this insurance crap last week and talking to T about it, I totally shut down and put my wall up again.

So, today I saw T he said they tried to call but didn't get ahold of anyone at the insurance company but he would keep trying very hard this week. We really talked about what we both thought I should do. I asked him of his opinion...what he thought about the insurace, if he thought I should come twice a week or stop completely. His response was "Um no, I think this is a God awful time for you to stop therapy". He thinks I am just reaching my core issues...my dependency on others, how I never could ask for what I wanted becasue everyone else was more important, how I afraid to ask for what I wanted or needed becasue of the fear of rejection, not having the chance to ask for what I wanted because I was taking care of my parents, and worrying that my needs are too overwhelming for others (including T). We pretty much went back and forth with what I wanted, which I couldn't say, and what he thinks is reasonable for what is available right now. He said he is T that wants to make sure there are resources available, he doesn't want to see me twice a week irresponsibly and then stick me with a big bill when my insurance runs out. I kept going in and out of this weird "I'm-not-really-here-and-I'm-not-hearing-this" state and he kept asking me where I went...I had no idea. Eventually, I said that I wanted to come twice a week, but I didn't want my problems to be expensive...to which he giggled at and said "oh you don't want to be a diva?"..haha. He said that if we do twice a week, we need to do it conciously and with our eyes open. We need to have a conversation about what we both think are realistic expectations for twice a week and what my fantasies are about going more. At the end, he asked me what I wanted to do and I said I still didn't know...so he laughed a little again and said "I want you to ask for it". I told him I wanted to go twice a week and he said "ok then".

So, I'm going to try it for a while and see how it goes. We will talk about payment when it comes to that..but for now, I'm covered. It was such a good session, he really got it and was really gentle about the whole thing. I felt really connected to him and felt like he really cares and wants whats best for me. There aren't many times I feel like that so I'm trying to hold on to it for as long as possible

Originally Posted by Sweetlove

It was such a good session, he really got it and was really gentle about the whole thing. I felt really connected to him and felt like he really cares and wants whats best for me. There aren't many times I feel like that so I'm trying to hold on to it for as long as possible

What a good feeling I hope you can hang on to it to it for a long, long time...and trust that if it goes away (for me, especially early in therapy, it came and went like crazy) that it will come back, because it will.

[SpiritRunner]

I'm so glad you could have that connected feeling too, and that you could ask for what you really needed! And I've learned that it's like Tree said, too - the connection/trust may feel like it ebbs sometimes, but it comes back....and for me, it's come back stronger! So I hope you can hold on to, keep this good feeling and really get some good work done in therapy now.

[WePow]

((((((((((Sweetlove))))))))))) You did a very good job with this issue!
Last year when my T took my insurance, they would only cover 10 sessions after the first 10 of the year. I was already going 2x a week as I was in burnout state from work. When I had my official total breakdown in Feb, I had to go on short term disability from work. As I was up to my eyebrows in heavy trauma healing work, my T had me come in 3-4 times a week! I was terrrified that there I was in the middle of the most aweful mess of my life and the insurance could at any time just "cut me off" and refuse to approve any more sessions.

All was fine for a little while, but then the insurance denied my visits. I was not yet done with my trauma work and it was only July and I had just sarted back to work after being off 3 months.

The entire time, my T told me to trust him - that he knew what to do with insurance in order to get me the help I had to have - what I NEEDED. I was not use to having an authority figure actually stand up FOR me! I was use to having to just stand up for myself while the adults turned and walked away from me when I told them about the horors going on at the hands of older children in the neighborhood or other adults. I had a VERY hard time trusting my T in this way and when I ran out of insurance, I thought "Well, this is it. Here we go again with being let down."

But in that session when T told me the insurance denied me, and T clearly saw my face change, T said "Do you mind if I handle this now - with you here?" ??? I was like "Sure!" And I sat back and watched him call the insurance. He was so firm with them! I had never seen that side of him! He told them "I have a client here who is suicidal and has severe PTSD with dissociative identity disorder" (stuff the insurance already knew as he has to tell them my DX -- and I WAS very suicial at that time due to the heavy trauma work). He said "You WILL approve these sessions for my client." They put him on hold and transfered him to a manager. They told him they would "look into it" and he told them "No. I submitted this request two weeks ago and I need to see her TODAY. You are going to approve this for my client right now!"

They did :-) And they continued to approve his requests all the way through the end of the year regardless if I needed only 1x week or 2x week. And I was able to first hand witness and experience what it was like to have an authority figure STAND UP FOR ME!!!!!

This year he is not taking insurance, so that is good for me because I don't have to worry about the insurance thing.

Bottom line though, and the reason I wanted to share this with you, is because I wanted to give you hope in seeing that Ts can stand up to the insurance companies and they do have weight to push them into getting approvals. All you have to do is tell your T what you NEED - just like you did. ((My T made me do the same thing! I was the one who had to say "I think I need to see you more than 1x week" and T said "I think you do too, but that is up to you to tell me what you need from me."

So be 100% honest with your T about those needs. And allow yourself to trust T to do his job. It will work out. But I do understand the fear you are going through around this. Big hugs to you!!

[Sweetlove]

Originally Posted by WePow

But in that session when T told me the insurance denied me, and T clearly saw my face change, T said "Do you mind if I handle this now - with you here?" ??? I was like "Sure!" And I sat back and watched him call the insurance. He was so firm with them! I had never seen that side of him! He told them "I have a client here who is suicidal and has severe PTSD with dissociative identity disorder" (stuff the insurance already knew as he has to tell them my DX -- and I WAS very suicial at that time due to the heavy trauma work). He said "You WILL approve these sessions for my client." They put him on hold and transfered him to a manager. They told him they would "look into it" and he told them "No. I submitted this request two weeks ago and I need to see her TODAY. You are going to approve this for my client right now!"

They did :-) And they continued to approve his requests all the way through the end of the year regardless if I needed only 1x week or 2x week. And I was able to first hand witness and experience what it was like to have an authority figure STAND UP FOR ME!!!!!

Thank you so much for sharing that story with me...that must have been incredible to witness your T doing that for you. When my T said he would try the insurance company a lot next week he said he would hit them hard, and they might give him more sessions or tell him to hospitalize me. Obviously he wouldn't, but he said "do you know how many times I could see you for the amount of money it costs to hospitalize someone?" He was basically saying insurance companies are rediculous. This just made me very thankful he was willing and able to stand up for me and just like you, saw the pain in my face talking about potentially quitting therapy and going through the "crisis" I'm in with no resources. I never really had that much trust or faith in him, just becasue I have issues with trust and people not living up to what I expect of them...but this was the first time I saw that I could put my faith in him and be pleasantly surprised. Also, he said that I need to let him take care of things and himself...becasuse I want to take care of him or protect him from me essentially. So, this gave me more comfort to, I need someone to release me from the duty of taking care of them. Anyway, thanks again for telling me that...definatly gives me some hope! Big hugs back

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

I'm so glad you could have that connected feeling too, and that you could ask for what you really needed! And I've learned that it's like Tree said, too - the connection/trust may feel like it ebbs sometimes, but it comes back....and for me, it's come back stronger! So I hope you can hold on to, keep this good feeling and really get some good work done in therapy now.

Thank you, I plan on "working" now...for as long as it's going to take.

Originally Posted by treehouse

What a good feeling I hope you can hang on to it to it for a long, long time...and trust that if it goes away (for me, especially early in therapy, it came and went like crazy) that it will come back, because it will.

Tree, I will always remember this...becasue I am a person who feels good for while and, like you said, starts to doubt it and talk myself out of it. As much as I want this feeling to last forever, I know it won't but I will remember that it will come back evenutally. Thank you