It's a privilege he said.

My therapist and I talk about my dreams a lot, because, well, even in my sleep my mind has a very spirited unruly life of its own.

In this particular dream, I was a little girl. I wasn't exactly lost, but I was far from home and sad. I wasn't alone because there was another little girl there with me. She was just asking me questions like "what are you doing here?" "where are your parents?" things like that. She was wearing the cutest little gingham dress. I responded that "I don't know where my parents are, but I hope I get to see them again". I felt so sad.

I was struck by the way that girl appeared to me in the dream and realized that she was likely a manifestation of my therapist. He agreed and we laughed at all the archetypes that he likely takes on in my head and heart.

He made the comment that I was beginning to realize that we are more alike than we are different. I'm still processing that one, but it reverberated through me. He's right and I find it to be an astute observation based on the dream, but I don't know exactly in what sense it is right.

In any case....

I told him that there are times when I feel profoundly connected to him and that that must be what human interaction is like. That feeling of connectedness. It's has been quite foreign to me, but I'm getting used to it.

What he said next surprised me to the core.

He said that he felt very connected to me too. I asked him if it was hard to do that, to feel connected to someone like me.

His response also surprised me. He said no, it is not hard at all, he felt it was a privilege. It was sometimes an intense connection he felt and that he was honored that I, who came to him as basically feral, wounded, and having fought so hard just to survive, would come to trust him in that way.

A privilege I thought? No way.

Then I thought of his analogy of the feral.

I work with a lot of rescued and abandoned animals (Freud anyone?). I know the feeling very well when a creature, horribly treated, begins to open up and trust. I know the gratitude and relief I feel for that animal when they relax and come to trust and acknowledge the kind hand of human. When they come to know that "this one, this one means me no harm". I know how much better their life becomes as a result and I, too, am honored to have been a part of it. It is an intense and incredible rewarding feeling because I know what that animal had to overcome to accept the help of a human, when it was humans that put them in that place to begin with.

I will no longer ever doubt the connection I have with my therapist. Ever. The basis for our perspective connections may be totally different, but his committment and love for me is without question.

Even when I'm far from home in my mind, he is there. Honored to walk with me in his little gingham dress, reflecting and connecting with parts of me that I didn't even know I had.

Yep, that's therapy folks. At least the way mine has played out.

Also, what if I told you that I was paid to do this work with animals? That it was my job to help them, reach out to them and provide safety for them?

Would it make that work any less significant to me or the animal? Would it make their life and their happiness any less real?

Don't you love when "real" life confirms what we're learning in therapy? I have learned so much about myself from my cats and their personalities.

That is so cool that your T is letting himself admit to being a human being. That is so important too. I'm glad you have that connection. It's important to good therapy, in my opinion.

Thats a beautiful post. Sounds like you have the real connection, and real therapy. And incidentally, Im the biggest sceptic about therapy.

Actually, I think you're right, all deep and genuine human connection is a privilege, what could be more valuable, for anyone actually, T or non-T.

Thanks for sharing your dream, what your T said, and your insights. Really great stuff. I like the thought of your T in a gingham dress. I love how he used the words "privilege" and "honor."

I especially love what you wrote here:Clients sometimes struggle with the fact that they must pay their T and think that perhaps that makes the relationship less valid or caring or real. Maybe what you wrote can help put it in perspective--a great illustration that being paid to do a job does not mean that it cannot caring or real.

Thank you for sharing that story, elliemay... It shows what a gift therapy can be, for both the client AND the therapist.

I love that he said that you are more alike than different. And that he was open about what the connection feels like to him.

Thank you for the reminder about what true gifts love and connection can be.