[brighter]

I know that I shouldn't be googling my therapist and I know that my therapist is a human being and I know that being busted for possession of a controlled substance doesn't make you an evil criminal BUT when I found the court record indicating that my therapist was busted for possession of a controlled substance 5 years ago and pleaded guilty I was taken aback.

I know it's good to be reminded that my therapist is a human being but at the same time I feel a desire to find another therapist!!! I no longer think of my therapist as a positive role model. Only as a hypocrite . I see this person as a screw up just like everyone else. And the fact that my therapist is a SHE now makes me think that she is probably a *****, too. Probably has promiscuous sex with men and women and does all sorts of crazy stuff.

What should I do??? Should I confess to my therapist that I looked her up online? OMG! That would be SO awkward and I would feel SO embarrassed! And should I mention exactly what I found? And what if I bring the court record to the attention of her boss? Is it better if I just ask for another therapist? I don't know what to think!!!

Originally Posted by brighter

And the fact that my therapist is a SHE now makes me think that she is probably a *****, too. Probably has promiscuous sex with men and women and does all sorts of crazy stuff.

This seems like a pretty big leap...but as for the controlled substance, that would make me feel a little weird too.

I think it is normal to google our therapists. In fact, I think it's not a bad idea, just to make sure we're safe (they haven't been bought to court for client abuse or breaches of confidentiality or whatever).

If I found that information out about my therapist, I would ask about it, because the wondering would affect my therapy. He might say "that happened 5 years ago, and I've been clean and sober since then", he might dodge the subject..there's no telling. But there is nothing wrong with asking, really, if it's going to hinder your trust and your progress in therapy.

Isn't it awful when something comes along that makes therapy harder than it already IS?! Oy.

[with or without you]

Are you absolutely positive it's the same person?

[brighter]

Originally Posted by with or without you

Are you absolutely positive it's the same person?

The full name, address and date of birth listed in the court record match her full name, address and date of birth. It's the same person.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by brighter

What should I do??? Should I confess to my therapist that I looked her up online? OMG! That would be SO awkward and I would feel SO embarrassed! And should I mention exactly what I found? And what if I bring the court record to the attention of her boss? Is it better if I just ask for another therapist? I don't know what to think!!!

Only you can decide what to do if it was me I would -

Stop jumping the gun and imagining the worst. possession doesnt mean a thing other than the therapist had a prescription drug on them, in their car or in their home at the time they were approached by a cop.

there are many reasons why a therapist might have a controlled substance in their person or immediate location ie clients ask us to hold all kinds of things for them including their medications, therapists are human can have for example cancer and have the controlled substance of pot on their person, ADHD and have the controlled substance of ritalin,

look around you at the posts here. I bet if you read the posts around here you will find many posts that talk about clients giving their therapists things including medications to hold on to.

just by what you have posted here, it leaves too many questions and too many ways to speculate and jump to the wrong conclusions.

my suggestion own up to the fact that you were googling her name and found the court record and talk about it with her, then decide whether you want to remain a client of theirs after hearing what went on.

if your therapist found out something about you wouldnt you want the same consideration of your therapist talking with you abut what she found out about you before dropping you?

Example what if your therapist was a member of psych central and read this post by you. would it be fair of her to just assume the worst about you, jumping conclusions that you are this that and the other thing just because she found this posting and never see you again?

let her know what you have found and talk with her about it. then decide what you want to do based on reality of the situation not your assumptions and jumping to conclusions of her being mentally deranged or a *****.

[Liam Grey]

Originally Posted by brighter

I know that I shouldn't be googling my therapist and I know that my therapist is a human being and I know that being busted for possession of a controlled substance doesn't make you an evil criminal BUT when I found the court record indicating that my therapist was busted for possession of a controlled substance 5 years ago and pleaded guilty I was taken aback.

I know it's good to be reminded that my therapist is a human being but at the same time I feel a desire to find another therapist!!! I no longer think of my therapist as a positive role model. Only as a hypocrite . I see this person as a screw up just like everyone else. And the fact that my therapist is a SHE now makes me think that she is probably a *****, too. Probably has promiscuous sex with men and women and does all sorts of crazy stuff.

What should I do??? Should I confess to my therapist that I looked her up online? OMG! That would be SO awkward and I would feel SO embarrassed! And should I mention exactly what I found? And what if I bring the court record to the attention of her boss? Is it better if I just ask for another therapist? I don't know what to think!!!

I think that googling for your T was perfectly acceptable, as Threehouse already stated..! I done that too for my T and I keep on doing it whatever I have to go to another doctor of any kind... I think there's nothing wrong on wanting to know some major informations on who will heal you. We put on it health, money and time... we have the right to do our researches.

About your fantasies... well, I would be a little more cautious on drawing a conclusion. About the promiscous sex and all that stuff... that is really just something you can't said for sure, or even for probable. It could have gone any way, you just can't know it.

The only way to know is asking, and then decide what to do. If you are not comfortable anyway, then just find someone else.

Take care!

[WePow]

Therapy is about building trust and healthy relationships (along with the healing and other things). Consider the internal damage it is doing by not bringing up the subject. Also, T has a right to give her side of the story. For example, sometimes a client will tell a T "I am going to do XYZ and have the stuff here with me to do it!" A T may ask the client to hand over XYZ in order to keep the client safe or sober. The T is technically breaking the law, but morally in the right. If T happened to have a traffic accident and XYZ was in possession (before T had the chance to go destroy it or turn it into a pharmacy), the T would have to plead guilty.

Bottom line is that you will not know until you ask.

[elliemay]

Whoa! It's quite leap to go from pleading guilty to posession of a controlled substance to being a *****.

There could be all kinds of things going on here.

Googling your therapist these days is good, but it's a mixed good you know?

I've personally found that there is a whole lot of information on the internet, but very very little wisdom.

You should tell her about what you found and discuss it with her.

A swift and sure judgement here without all the facts could cause you to miss out on a very beneficial and fruitful relationship.

[brighter]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Only you can decide what to do if it was me I would -

Stop jumping the gun and imagining the worst. possession doesnt mean a thing other than the therapist had a prescription drug on them, in their car or in their home at the time they were approached by a cop.

there are many reasons why a therapist might have a controlled substance in their person or immediate location ie clients ask us to hold all kinds of things for them including their medications, therapists are human can have for example cancer and have the controlled substance of pot on their person, ADHD and have the controlled substance of ritalin,

According to the court record she pleaded GUILTY. If she was looking after somebody's medication why plead GUILTY? And why would the court record indicate that there was probable cause? The cops searched her for a reason. Probably because she was acting weird or something.

And she is young, early 30's. She didn't become a licensed psychologist until early last year (I also looked this up online). So when the incident took place, when she was in her mid 20's, she wasn't a psychologist and she wasn't looking after a patient's medication.

[lynn P.]

I think you should take some deep breaths and don't let the "cart get ahead of the horse". As you said - your therapist is a human being and made mistakes too. It's not fair to read more into this - like she could be a ***** too.

You should be honest - maybe she doesn't realize this info can be obtained on Google. Let her know what you found and see what she says. She can still be a good therapist and she shouldn't be judged on this info IMO.

[venusss]

There is not connection between being a ***** and possesing controlled substance.

and yes, she is only a human.

If it bothers you talk to her first not others. That would be pretty backstabbing thing to do.

[ladyjrnlist]

If she is licensed, then the licensing board didn't have a problem with the arrest, I would think. Don't leap to conclusions. Talk to your T about it and go from there. Everyone makes mistakes.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by brighter

According to the court record she pleaded GUILTY. If she was looking after somebody's medication why plead GUILTY? And why would the court record indicate that there was probable cause? The cops searched her for a reason. Probably because she was acting weird or something.

And she is young, early 30's. She didn't become a licensed psychologist until early last year (I also looked this up online). So when the incident took place, when she was in her mid 20's, she wasn't a psychologist and she wasn't looking after a patient's medication.

Im sorry but I cant give you the answers you are looking for. theres only one person that can give you the answers you are looking for. that person is your therapist, the one that got busted for possession. only she knows what happened and why.

cops dont need any major reasons to search someone here in the USA. heck your neighbor can call the cops and tell them they heard a loud noise coming from your home and that gives the cops probable cause to come to your home enter and search to make sure everything is ok with you and your home.

the same with a vehicle. your closest friend can call the cops and tell them they saw you get in your car with a six pack of beer and that gives the cops probable cause to pull you over, make sure you are not driving while drinking and search your vehicle to make sure you dont have any open alcoholic beverages in your car.

probable cause can be anything. who knows maybe she was stopped at a check point and her car matched the one that just robbed the bank, or was involved in a hit and run. doesnt matter that it wasnt her and her car all that matters is a car like hers broke the law. thats probable cause for searching her car.

talk to your therapist only she has the answers you are looking for.

[skeksi]

Only you can decide whether this is a significant problem in your therapy. I think talking with your T is clearly important, as this is having a real impact on you and your perception of your T. I hope you're able to resolve it in a way that works for you.

[moonrise]

Talk to her. Everyone does stupid stuff. We put our therapists on a pedestal, but we shouldn't. They're just as human as we are.

[Luce]

My ex T had a criminal conviction for drugs. When she younger she was an addict, and was also married to one. She was also a teenage mom of two and was abused by her husband for years.
After she went to detox and left her hubby she put herself through university while raising her two children and got her life back on track. She had been working as a T for three years when I first started seeing her, and now has over 20 years experience and is regarded as an expert in her field of specialty (dissociative disorders).

I wouldn't have swapped her for the world. She was an awesome T.

[Suratji]

Don't we hope to not be judged? Don't we go to a T because we believe that is the one place where we can be ourselves? Of course, we tend to put the T on a pedestal but like everyone has already stated, they are human also. The question is - can this person help me? If your trust is shattered so badly by this, then you probably should seek another therapist. But, please, let her have the opportunity to explain it to you. There is nothing worse than being judged. I know - I've been there. Who among us has gone through life without making a mistake? Can the T also not be given the same understanding that we want from them? And please please please, don't leap in your imagination to horrible thoughts about your T just by one piece of fact that you have obtained. Would you want anyone doing that about you?

[cautious hope]

I recently found out that my therapist was guilty of behaving in a way I had in the past. It redeemed me. If she could survive her own mistakes, so could I. I haven't told her yet. I think I will as a goodby gift.

[writingwithink]

If you are invested in your relationship with your T, then I think you should also consider how you (5 years after an incident in her personal life that had nothing to do with you) could potentially cause her pain or even shame. I plead guilty to a significant crime 10 years ago. It was reduced to a misdemeanor. Yet, 10 years later I still feel bad about it. If anyone in my life brought it up, it would cause a lot of pain and shame even now. Actually, my spouse, who I started dating 3 years after the incident, googled me and then confronted me with it. I was initially pained and shamed when she brought it up. A stronger part took over and told her it was none of her business and that we owed her no explanation, as we had already paid our dues to society. If we ever found anything out about our T, especially something that happened 5 years ago, we'd never confront her. We simply would not want to hurt her.

[Catlovers141]

writingwithink, you bring a good perspective to this thread. I think that all angles should be considered.

Brighter, I think you should consider how much this will affect your relationship with your therapist, and if there is any other way to feel better about it. If you feel unable to get past it without talking about it with your T, I still would advice bringing it up with her even if it may hurt her feelings.

In the therapeutic relationship, the therapist is responsible for her feelings. It isn't advisable for you to keep something hidden from her only because you think it will hurt her. That said, I might leave out the part about thinking she is a *****. If you bring it up, I would express your concerns, whatever they may be, but in a way that doesn't automatically put her on the defensive.