Just wanted to reach out to my PC friends for support in the week ahead. My relationship with my partner is finally properly ending and within the next few days I'll be alone for the first time ever as an adult, really. I accept that the relationship is over, but there is massive loss and sadness. I'm also having a lot of judgemental thoughts about myself and how poorly I functioned in the relationship, and am feeling really hopeless about the future. My aim now is to handle the ending with as much self-respect (and control!) and grace and gentleness as I can, so we can keep the considerable good feelings there still are between us.

T is being fab. It was my birthday yesterday and we had a special happy session the day before. She gave me a card and a lovely blanket I'd asked for as well as a more grown up present. She told me a story of spending her one morning off going with her little daughter to four different shops to find the 'perfect' blanket, and her daughter choosing a present too. I love that I can literally wrap T's love around me , and it's been especially comforting as I've been really ill this weekend and have had to spend it in bed. It felt really important that it was so different from the disastrous birthday I had with her a year ago. I feel like we can properly draw a line under that now in a way we couldn't before...

She has stayed in contact today although she doesn't work on Sundays. When I asked her, she told me about her previous partner who left her after 5 years, and that she's glad now. It helps to hear that, because she now has a lovely husband and daughter, and in the past I've felt very jealous, seeing it as her having what I have lost. It feels very different, knowing that this is what she gained following a similarly huge loss. I'm going to try to cling to the hope in her story, and probably cling to her too.

Do please send any spare love my way in the hard weeks ahead. Thank you my friends

[Omers]

Endings are hard. I am so glad (OK and jealous) that you have the blanket from T. Gotta ask... Does it smell like T??? Anyway, I am sure it will bring great comfort during this difficult time.
I am glad you had a chance to re-do the birthday. My 30th was one of the worst days of my life (due to a break up of sorts). I am glad you are treasuring the new memory as you let the old one go.
There is a book called transitions (http://www.amazon.com/Transitions-Ma...0653328&sr=8-1) that is really good if you are a reader.

[WePow]

Sending you TONS of hugs.
I learned from experience that the hardest losses were followed by the most wonderful doors opening up.

Now is the time to learn how to enjoy discovering the wonderful person YOU are!
No more energy spent on another person. This is your time now.

[online user]

I have ended two marriages and some shorter relationships that weren't really serious. I think it was all training for my 3rd marriage to my "soul mate". That isn't perfection, but we're working on staying together and being happy with each other.

I still remember the first few things I did as a single person...going to a party alone, a costume party, no less! And I felt good being there by myself, which really surprised me. I was so anxious in the car driving to the party. Afterwards, I felt such a sense of accomplishment. Hope things go OK for you too!

[SpiritRunner]

So glad you have the blanket from T, what a wonderful thing to feel like you can wrap yourself in her love! I'm sending you tons and tons of love to wrap around yourself, too; I know endings are hard.But new beginnings are lovely too and perhaps there is all sorts of wonder ahead for you following this.....I will think of you often!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Originally Posted by Omers

I am so glad (OK and jealous) that you have the blanket from T. Gotta ask... Does it smell like T??? Anyway, I am sure it will bring great comfort during this difficult time.
I am glad you had a chance to re-do the birthday. My 30th was one of the worst days of my life (due to a break up of sorts). I am glad you are treasuring the new memory as you let the old one go.
There is a book called transitions (http://www.amazon.com/Transitions-Ma...0653328&sr=8-1) that is really good if you are a reader.

No, it smells like the shop! I thought about asking her to wash it at hers before giving it to me, but decided that was probably too demanding when she had such a busy week. I also decided it was extremely unlikely that she does her own washing! I do like knowing that it lived in her house for a few days though I'm going to ask my dearest friend to wash it at her, as she has a little baby and her stuff always smells so comforting.

Thank you so much for the book recommendation. I am frequently laughed at for turning to books for *everything* e.g. I taught myself running using a book. I ordered it just now

Thanks for sharing your birthday story. I hope subsequent birthdays have been more hopeful...

[lovelygirl]

(((((((Improving))))))))

Just know we are all thinking of you and we ARE sending love your way.

And remember your handle here--you are improving every day! This is part of that process...despite the sadness and mourning you're feeling now. Take good care of you and don't be afraid to lean on T a bit. She clearly wants to support you!

LG

((((((((((((Improving))))))))))))

Sending SO many hugs.

I love that you are reaching out for support during such a hard time, and that you are allowing T to be there for you and accepting her love as well. THAT is handling the situation with self-respect and grace and gentleness. Good for you.

Take extra good care of yourself this week, and accept all of the love that is here (and there) for you.

[zooropa]

[Sweetlove]

((((((((Improving))))))))

I am so sorry you are going through this, as hard as it is, from what you have said on here it seems like the best thing for everyone. I SO understand the acceptance AND sadness...it is a hurt like no other. I will be thinking of you during the next few days, weeks, and months...however long you need the good thoughts.

I think it is amazing that your T gave you the blanket...at the exact time you needed it. Wrap it around you, or hug it tight...knowing that T and PC is right there with you. It does get better, not easily and not soon, but it does.

Sending you HUGE hugs and lots of love, support, and strength. Please take care of yourself

[Twisti]

Sending you lots of love and light!

[Kacey2]

Sending you lots of TLC old buddy, old pal!!!!