[sittingatwatersedge]

(MUE, this is primarily for you but I didn't want you to feel I was hijacking your thread )

last night I opened Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery" again. The first time I had it, I read all but just barely skimmed through the last chapters....... because I was so far away, in the beginning of the process, that reading about the end seemed meaningless, like a foreign language, to me.

Now I think I understand pretty well the first phases she outlines, and want to know about the reintegration part, so I guess it;s time to take another look.

what I opened to was commentary about group therapy following individual trauma work, and I thought of MUE. Herman recommends group after the telling of the story is come to terms with; a rather loosely supervised group, a social group of all kinds of people with many kinds of issues, not just trauma; in fact a rather changeable cast of participants. All this because the client is going to be coming back into the world, as it were, and will meet all kinds of people and all kinds of situations.

And what she said struck me, that it is in the ruptures & repairs of the group experience that the post trauma person will learn to function again - in life - with its bumps and bruises, its characters, its unexpected turns and demands. My paraphrase of course.

MUE... It seems that this frustrating, complex, annoying, difficult, infuriating, puzzling group of yours is a very good thing indeed - if you find the strength and courage to deal with it - I am one more time in admiration of your courage and determination, and I am hoping that there's a lot of healing in this experience for you.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

(MUE, this is primarily for you but I didn't want you to feel I was hijacking your thread )

last night I opened Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery" again. The first time I had it, I read all but just barely skimmed through the last chapters....... because I was so far away, in the beginning of the process, that reading about the end seemed meaningless, like a foreign language, to me.

Now I think I understand pretty well the first phases she outlines, and want to know about the reintegration part, so I guess it;s time to take another look.

what I opened to was commentary about group therapy following individual trauma work, and I thought of MUE. Herman recommends group after the telling of the story is come to terms with; a rather loosely supervised group, a social group of all kinds of people with many kinds of issues, not just trauma; in fact a rather changeable cast of participants. All this because the client is going to be coming back into the world, as it were, and will meet all kinds of people and all kinds of situations.

And what she said struck me, that it is in the ruptures & repairs of the group experience that the post trauma person will learn to function again - in life - with its bumps and bruises, its characters, its unexpected turns and demands. My paraphrase of course.

MUE... It seems that this frustrating, complex, annoying, difficult, infuriating, puzzling group of yours is a very good thing indeed - if you find the strength and courage to deal with it - I am one more time in admiration of your courage and determination, and I am hoping that there's a lot of healing in this experience for you.

Thanks so much for sharing this. Indeed, it makes sense. In my case, though, my group is not aware of my trauma...and I guess that's why T wants me to share more...because that might be where the true reintegration for me works. Being able to deal with the bumps and bruises of "real life stuff" WITH my story being a part of me and known by others, instead of continuing to be a "secret". Now, that doesn't mean I have to go through life just blurting out my trauma to every person in the world - I'm just talking about the whole assimilation, integration, reintegration process.

I'm just not there yet.

Thanks again, for sharing this and for thinking of me. I hope that someday I will be able to make that huge step in group.

[sittingatwatersedge]

every step takes its own time; and it's a big job as you know MUE.
I think you are doing so great.

(and if it were me, I never would reveal that to the group unless I had first had an intense talk (or several, or many) with my own T about the idea of doing so. In future life you probably will be private about that, you're right.) hugs to you

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

every step takes its own time; and it's a big job as you know MUE.
I think you are doing so great.

(and if it were me, I never would reveal that to the group unless I had first had an intense talk (or several, or many) with my own T about the idea of doing so. In future life you probably will be private about that, you're right.) hugs to you

Thanks, SAWE.... I soooo appreciate your support.

I've told T on several occasions how I didn't think our group was the "right" group of people. He said that he wouldn't know what the "right" group would look like. After several talks with T about in a while ago, it was about me working towards getting my needs met - to create a safe enough environment for me by doing so - in order to set the stage for sharing...This, in itself, is a worthy experience - so IRL, I can do that very thing.

And ultimately, we have no control over how people react...and I just have to be prepared and ok with whatever the outcome is....THAT is a learning experience....to be ok with being vulnerable and not internalizing what comes back.

I guess, at this point, I'm just not ready to be "ok"....not with "crickets" anyway. But, honestly, I don't know what I'd expect people to say or how to react. I guess I just don't want to feel the shame and embarrassment that goes along with it....or to be so overly emotional about it and feel out of control. It's all part of it.

In time.....

Thanks again....