how therapists choose their clients

Suratji · Feb 27, 2011, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunrise

There are so many interesting responses here.

There's something kind of nerve-wracking about being told that the first session the T is checking you out to decide whether to take you on! Even when they don't tell us that, I guess the Ts are still doing it. It just didn't occur to me when I went to see my T. My first T had signed me up right away and I thought it was kind of like going to a family doctor--if they had space for you, they would take you on. My T said one of the things he liked about me at our first session was that I let myself be vulnerable with him. I guess I cried a little. My memory of it is that I cried rather matter of factly. I was telling him some hard stuff and a few tears came out and fell, but I just let them, and kept talking, and didn't fuss about them. T was just fine about the tears. I had had the experience of crying with my first therapist, so I had this idea in my head that crying in therapy was perfectly fine and in fact might even be expected. I guess I was able to communicate to my T, with the help of the tears, that I was hurting, and this is one thing he knows how to help clients with, so maybe he saw then he could help me. I remember also how he talked about himself and his philosophy and approach. I think an important part of the first session is for the T to communicate who they are. If the client sees that clearly, and wants to continue, then that helps the consent be informed. I still remember getting his "I'm not a therapist, I'm a healer" speech, and that makes me smile.

Oh, so true.

My comment about "I passed" just reflects my own 'being rejected' issues. I know the T needs to meet the client in order to see if they can work with them. It's kinda like a first date to see if you want to continue seeing the person. As clients, we're checking the T out also and if I hadn't resonated with her right away I may not have continued.

JustWannaDisappear · Feb 27, 2011, 11:28 PM

My first session with my current T is kind of a blur. I talked a ton about cried like crazy. She told me when she first saw me I seemed like a confident, happy young woman. But once I sat down she saw someone completely different and realized how badly I needed help. She told me she considered taking me to the hospital and asked what I would have done. I told her I would not have gone, she said she would have had to have the police take me if I had told her no. I'm so glad we didn't have to deal with that, but I'm glad she saw through the act I put on when she first saw me. She also called me when I canceled the next week and told me she was very concerned. After a couple sessions she told me up front that if I frustrate her too much she won't hesitate to refer me to someone else. But then she said she doesn't get frustrated easily or often.

When I called the clinic I talked to the owner of the clinic and told her I needed someone to help me with depression and parenting. I had someone else in mind, honestly a younger therapist that works there, but she scheduled me with my current T and at first I was upset because I had a bad experience with an older T (who fell asleep during my session!!) but am so glad to have my current T.

I kind of went off ... it makes me wonder about how my T deals with choosing clients.

PTSDlovemycats · Feb 28, 2011, 03:59 AM

[quote=granite1;1729389]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

She said that she didn't want to tell her "I don't want to work with you because my gut says you are a cold, evil person" She ended up scaring her out of seeing her by being really pushy with topics she wanted to avoid to make her not want to come anymore and then she gave a referral for another T.

OMG this is how i felt my T was being

Granite I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I hope that things work out with the new T that you will be talking to on the phone tomorrow.

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