[lastyearisblank]

I have booked a last appointment for tomorrow. I'm going to go in properly and say goodbye to Old t (the bad one) and hopefully be able to actually start treatment somewhere again in good faith.

Now I am caught though between two feelings.

1) I know this therapist (and maybe this therapy) were rude and dismissive toward me.

BUT

2) I also think that there was a real relationship there. And there was some good advice and I realize some of it was excessive and controlling.. but he was my fake parent! That is a real, close relationship! One of the better ones I have had in a while!

Do I talk about this? Don't know. I just want to see my (low down, mean, dishonest) therapist again. I want to see him and know he still exists.

Anyway I'd really appreciate any encouraging words going in. It feels like I am bracing myself to cut off a finger.

[seventyeight]

hi lyib, i'm not sure what you're asking, but since you helped me with my "going craziness," i'd like to return the favor

so. what do you mean when you say that you want to see your therapist again and to know that he exists? you're meeting with him tomorrow, correct? are you wondering if you're supposed to keep it light and say your goodbyes, or if you're supposed to go in and speak your mind? also, are you having doubts about moving on?

just thought i'd ask a few more questions, so that i can better offer some support..

[lastyearisblank]

Thanks 78. I'm so glad your situation worked out!

I wrote a little about my problem with T here... in the first post.. http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=175066 I don't know if I'm that good at explaining it.

I have been in therapy before and was not either so attached-- or so unhappy. This doctor has a way of prompting freakouts for me, partially because he insists there are things that are "deeply wrong" with me, that nobody else but him can really get.

not good right.

I think it's too late to talk it out, I'm really just looking for support to quit.

[seventyeight]

oh, ok, yes, i remember reading that thread. your relationship with this therapist is relatively new from what i remember, and you've been having doubts since the begining. that, in essense, is why i think you should quit (you said you we're looking for support to do so, so there it is!)

i think the therapist-relationship is like that of any other, in the sense that you can tell from the first few meetings if it's going to work out or not. there are plenty of great therapists out there, for you not to waste time with this one.

not only that, but with any therapist, there are bound to be flaws in the relationship and bumps in the therapy road, and you want to make sure things are solid with that person so you can handle any challenges that come up. hope that helps..

[lastyearisblank]

that, in essense, is why i think you should quit (you said you we're looking for support to do so, so there it is!)

That doctor that I posted about was a psychiatrist I see every week (who does talk therapy, who knew!). I'm NOT attached to him, lol. But "t" is a private psychologist I have been going to for a little over a year (maybe the roughest year of my life, events-wise, hence the screen name!!)

Thank you. I need that little nudge toward quitting.

Btw I can't believe you remember that old post! Wow how great!

[Sweetlove]

Well, I don't want to beat a dead horse, because I feel like have already said what I feel about your T. I think it's really great that your going to see him one last time, I just hope you don't get attached and think "he's different now". I really think he will always treat you how he did before.

I hope you can get some closure and move on...good luck tomorrow

[lastyearisblank]

Thanks much, sweetlove- doesn't feel like beating a dead horse to me. I'm like that-- it takes me a while but I get there. I'm just grateful to see it from a different perspective.

[turquoisesea]

Just wishing you good luck! =)