More on Childish and acting Child-like

So that other post got me thinking about myself quite a bit. My T tells me quite often that I act childish and sometimes facially I physically look only 2 or 3yrs old.

She asked me why I like feeling or acting like a child and I told her that I don't (that is the truth) and I don't even know that I am doing it. She said well what is it about Cats that needs to act like, look like, or feel like a kid?? I had no reponse. She re-iterated to me that she was not getting mad at me or trying to scold me in anyway,

She just wanted to bring it to my attention and she said that she will continue to do this in the future when it comes up. I am definitely guilty of the "pouty 2yr old" face, I can't deny that one! But...I don't know. She said that my voice even changes and that if she were blind she would think that she was in the room with a toddler sometimes. I don't babble or do any baby talk or anything. I guess maybe it is my tone and the way that I respond?

She has also told me that I have a developmental dalay, an emotional one so she understands why it happens.

I also have extremely bad PTSD. The part that I find really strange is the fact that all of my symptoms are those of Kids PTSD!! And I mean ALL of the symptoms not just a few! So if you actually read the symptoms of PTSD in kids you can see how this would be extremely emnarassing for someone my age. The only symptom slightly different is that I am not clingy to my parents but I AM clingy to my T but not as bad now as I was before. And yes I also have ll of the symptoms of adult PTSD as well.

It was because I thought that I had a serious medical problem and when I told my T about it (Most embarassing discussion with her ever!) She said "Cats I don't think there is an actual physical problem with you physically.....ummm Did you know that this happens sometimes to kids that have PTSD?? Great Atleast I know why. I just have no control over it and can't stop it. Freakin AWESOME!

I also curl up on the couch and take my shoes off. Is that child-like? I bite my nails too. I am afraid one day T is going to catch me sucking my thumb!! That would be VERY embarassing. I rarely do that and only when I am home alone and night and having scaring flashbacks. It's not intentional, just comes automatically. That I know yes is childih.

Well those are my 2 cents. Anyone have anything similar that they can share? I am looking forward to reading your thoughts on this and please feel free to add anything you would like!

i think the tempertantrums i can have are def child like.i tend to sometimes get very upset and out of controle and cry,scream yell,threaten,etc...all the atributes of a tantrum.drives my husband crazy.and me crazy when he says crap like talk to me use your words etc...makes me feel even more like a kid.when i was young untill probibly into my mid 20's i also had a lot of child like behaviors,sucking my thumb,i would sleep on the floor curled up,sometimes sleep with my head on the staffs lap.and over all child like attitude.still do somedays.but growing old is overated i say

I could not help but laugh at this! That's what I was taught to say in school to kids..."Use your words"

lol oh Granite how you make me laugh! I needed that, thanks Sweetie!

Yea I keep the thumbsucking pretty lowkey...T does NOT know about it and I have NO plans on telling her about it either!

I am 45, and when I go to my daughters High School I always get asked for a hall pass! I also dress like a teen age boy, punk rock black hoodies... but I have pink hair so people know I am female....they just always think of me as a kid. Even t says things like, I keep forgetting how old you are.

i promice i wont tell

((((PTSD))))

Yes. I also have complex-PTSD due to severe CSA. I do revert into a child in session - or at the grocery store sometimes - or at work last year when I was having my breakdown. But mine is because it went all the way over to DID and formed alters.

I do know that not all people fully split - they don't have full blown DID, but they may have started to split and have parts of the brain that are almost like child alter states. The thumb sucking and such does happen in those situations as well as DID situations.

I am sorry that you had those things happen to you that caused you such great harm.

LOL, That is AWESOME!! Good for you! Keep rockin' it!! I remember when and why you dyed your hair pink and I still think that is ABSOLUTELY beautiful!!

(((WePow!))) Awe Thanks so much for your kind words!! If you don't mind me asking and if it is too personal that don't bother but exactly how do you revert into a child in session? I ask as I am trying to help myself figure this out for me. What is Complex PTSD? How is that diff than PTSD and child PTSD? What I think is so bizarre is that my trauma happened to me when i was 22 but my worst symptoms are those of child PTSD....So weird...
ALSO I am also so sorry for everthing that you endured in your childhood WePow. Nobody deserves that. (((HUGS!!)))

I already have a plan if i get caught in a flashback in session with her! Lol. I always sit with a cushion on my lap so if the worst happens I will hide behind it, Lol. -sigh-

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/types-of-ptsd/ - that tells about complex PTSD

http://www.traumacenter.org/products...ct2006JTS3.pdf

For me, I have always had DID, so my alters come out when that part of me just wants to come out or if I am triggered. In session, my 8yr old female part LOVES our T. She trusts him totally (and I do mean totally) ((whereas I still have some trust issues)).

In session, my T may ask that part of me to let him know what is going on with other alters inside. Or he may ask about details to certain events so that part of me will bring the memory forward so I can process through the trauma.

Thanks for the info WePow, I will look that stuff up. What you go through with your T actually sounds pretty cool. I am sure at times it doesn't feel like it though as I know that you have a lot to deal with, Thanks again WePow!

(((((((PTSD)))))))

People think I am MUCH younger than I really am. When people don't know my kids, and hear I have a 14 year old, they are SHOCKED, really. One person told me that I have the "lavender light of childhood" about me. I told that to T and he smiled and said that is a perfect description. (which I think is a nice way of saying "child-like" lol)

I have talked to T about why people think I'm so young. I do have DID, and obviously, that is part of it. He told me that my teen part has an incredibly strong energy about her, and I wonder if that comes out sometimes. Also, I'm small, quite a bit smaller than most of the teens we know...my friends are LITERALLY always mistaking me for one of their kids when I am standing with our teenage kids, or when I'm walking towards them and they see me out of the corner of their eye. We took our kids on a field trip recently and the person selling the tickets counted me as a kid in the price until I pointed out I am a MOM. My kids love that.

I think part of it, though, is that I am very much "myself" with other people. T says it's "being authentic". Only about my happy emotions though (I still hide if I am sad...that is way too vulnerable for me). So, I am pretty "bubbly".

T told me once that everyone, especially people with trauma, has parts of themselves that haven't "grown up" and that part of therapy is helping them grow up.

Don't know if that helps, but that's my .02!

I don't have PTSD or DID but I still act VERY young for 24 sometimes. It freaks me out that in the Middle Ages I would already be a grandmother.

A lot of people "stop" developing in some way or another when the trauma starts. It's normal for trauma survivors. I too have parts so it is a little different. Most of my friends are trauma survivors too. I now one who is in her 40's and has a pasifier and bottle in her night stand (no parts). If I am working on specific pieces of my history I wet the bed and I have another 30 year old friend that bed wets too.
One of the things I love about my massage T is that she believes everyone has parts! So she totally gets it.

I am 48 and I look like I am in my early 30s. I think sometimes I come across as younger than I am. I think it is because I got stunted in the developmental stage somewhere. I also have PTSD. My therapist is 2 years younger and sometimes it feels like she is older; maybe it is because of the role she is in. I think also that being in therapy makes us more vulnerable and childlike, not like we are presenting ourselves in the "real world." I had one therapist tell me in some ways I act like a young child but in other ways I am wiser beyond my years.

I've always felt and come across to others as child-like. I can be professional when I need to be, but left to my own I'm clearly stuck at the age when most of my trauma began. My T is the same age as I am, but it feels as if he's far older.

I think we are acting our emotional age at that moment. The age where development got stuck or interrupted. And we didn't grow and learn how to be more independent and able to voice our needs directly. I think we act what we don't have words for, yet. A young child can pout because they are hurt/angry/disappointed when they had an expectation that was wasn't met; but they don't have words for the expectation, or the disappointment/anger/hurt.

With therapy, I have seen a change in both my expectations and my having words for experiences that have helped me many times.

Some of my childish behaviors were symptoms or habits and I had to, over time, confront them in therapy and see if I wanted/needed that behavior still or wanted to act more socially acceptable, as an adult. I had one very childish behavior for over 50 years (one of the main reasons I wanted therapy) but it was based on the underlying anxiety and when therapy helped, the behavior finally wasn't needed and ceased being "useful" or what I wanted/needed.

I AM at grandmother but most people who don't know me wouldn't believe it. I've always looked younger than my age, and felt younger. I used to hate when people couldn't believe I graduated from college, was married, had kids, etc. It made me feel more immature because I looked that way. I thought wearing make-up would help, but I don't like make-up and it didn't help so I gave up.

In therapy, we work with different parts and my T says we all have young parts inside of us. I can act like a baby or a 2 year old having a tantrum, though it's hard to let my T see those parts. My child parts are very dominant; they are the ones who want to be with T all of the time, want to hold her hand, etc. The baby or child is afraid of her leaving me.

Our early years influenced our personalities so it seems logical to me that many of us seem childish or childlike, bering "stuck" at young ages.

lol if you look at my pic on my profile i am sitting in a ship port hole i am only 4 ft 8 and look very young i am 43 in this pic.i have always looked dressed and acted younger than i am.

I look young, too--enough that I still get carded for alcohol and R movies--but I think my mannerisms, which are insecure and shy, probably contribute to the effect.

I often tell T that I feel 11--which is the age the abuse got bad. It always unnerves me when he says things like, "You are an adult woman who is experiencing X," because I still don't feel adult, even with a mortgage and loans and a job. I don't act like a kid; I am capable and professional and never babyish, but I certainly FEEL like a kid.

PTSDCats, part of the work of therapy can be to help grow you up. Does your T know how to help with that? What you shared of her reaction to this is her commentary and observations that you act young. But how will she help you with this? How has she helped previous clients with a similar issue? There are a number of strategies that can be used. One my T really likes for this type of thing is called Lifespan Integration, but there are other approaches too.

Me and my T do inner child work, where I get in touch with my child self and try to be the loving compassionate parent as well, we also dialogue using the dominant hand for the parent and the non dominant hand for the child, my child self is sometimes 2 sometimes 5. T says its good to be child like... not childish. I do some things that are childish, at one time i reverted to being an adult baby ( i wont get into details but u can google it if u wish) and that part of my life it was like I needed to go thru it again to be able to grow up. I think ive grown up a bit, though sometimes I do suck my thumb. T doesnt know about that part of my life nor do i feel she needs to know how INTO it i needed to get in order for me to grow up. Not something i freely admit to either, yet here I am,,,,anyhow doing the inner child work has helped me emotionally grow up a bit, and I think its fun.
Beth

Thanks Omers. And BTW Me too...

Yea she is working on it. She has experience with it and she is an adolescent and child pdoc. I had never heard of Lifespan Integration before so I googled it and it sounds sort of similar to what my T does with me,