Has Anyone Ever Seen A Substitute T?

My T is going on a 2 week vacation. I'm thinking of asking her if one of her colleagues could see me while she's gone. My idea is that I would only talk to substitute T about my feelings of abandonment caused by my T being gone. It seems like it would help to have some live person to talk to about that instead of being left alone for so long.

Has anyone ever seen a substitute T before?

Nope, never.

My T has offered someone for when she's going to be away, but I've told her that I can't imagine any situation where I would call someone who doesn't know me. So I never have. Luckily, she rarelly takes breaks.

i have seen several... but i didn't like it at all, and it only made me miss t even more. now i don't substitute. But your experience could be totally different!

Now, on what would be my T day, i think of what she'd say to me, or look up the area where she is (like on her exotic trips), or journal on what I would be telling her right then, or even write her an email saying what I would be saying.

I've talked to them on the phone when I called the crisis line and my old T wasn't available (years ago) and one of her colleagues took the emergency calls...it made me very uncomfortable and in some ways worse...that's just me and those were crisis moments..not sure if it would be different if it was a planned thing.

I talked over the phone with a sub-T in once while in crisis. He kept asking me what my T would tell me...it was weird.

My T had her supervisor as backup for me.....but I didn't go see her. I didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, who was not MY T!
I don't know who she'll have as backup the next time she is on vacay, because I don't WANT to see her supervisor! (not since the S advocated the hugs being taken away......it gives me ill feelings to think that someone I never have seen had a hand in a decision that hurt so much....so that's just my stuff getting in the way.....)
But I imagine it would at least help to know that there is someone to talk to about the abandonment feelings if you need to, even if you don't talk to them......

Like others, my T offered to talk to other T's if I thought I wanted to see/talk to someone while she was away (she was often away for many weeks at a time) but I never saw the "point". I wanted my T and nothing was going to change that and opening a side can of worms didn't seem like it would be likely to help

I know what you mean about seeing another T in order to take up with the normal therapy. The substitute would have a terrible time getting to know all the intricacies of the work the current T and I have done.

My thing is just to be able to talk to someone about one issue and one issue only - the abandonment feelings triggered by T being gone. Maybe the substitute could just offer some kind of tips or at least I could be heard.

But another idea came to me this morning. I think I'll ask T if I can email her while she's gone - and not with the expectation that she'd read them when she's on vacation. Or that she'd ever reply. It's just so I'd feel some connection. And I'll tell her that my idea is just for the time she's gone so she won't think I'm trying to initiate a new element to our relationship that I'm sure she'd disapprove of.

I saw a substitute therapist while mine was away, but my therapist was gone for a few months. It was helpful but it did take awhile for me to get used to the substitute. I overlapped so I saw the substitute therapist before mine left, and then once after mine came back. I talked about missing my therapist and feeling abandoned, and also just needed the support and structure of having a therapy session and knowing I would have someone available if I needed help. I don't know if it would be quite as helpful for a shorter time (like the 2 week vacation) because it probably took about that long for me to even feel a tiny bit of trust for the substitute. Maybe you could start now though, meet one of her colleagues, and then you would know them a bit so next time your T goes away you would already have a "back up" that you knew.

It is hard when someone you care about and depend on so much goes away :-( 2 weeks is so short but so long all at once.

I think that if I weren't able to have a session for more than 2 weeks because I was sick or T couldn't fit me in, it wouldn't be so bad. It's just knowing that she's completely inaccessible is what makes it so tough. And actually it's more than 2 weeks because of how the appointments go. I have a terrible time just going 6 days without a session. Dang, I'm pathetic. I hate it.

NOT pathetic!! I get stressed and anxious and sad if it's more than 4 days between sessions!! And I agree it is totally different when you know that your T is inaccessible and away, versus when you miss a session for scheduling or other reasons but you know they are still there and you could call if you needed them.
This is just my opinion, and I hate telling people what they should do so feel free to disregard - but maybe it would be helpful to meet one of your T's colleagues so you would have a backup. I love knowing that if my therapist goes away on an extended vacation, or gets sick, or whatever - that now I have another therapist who I know and like and so I wouldn't be 100% alone. I would never trade her - it's not like my therapist is that replaceable - but it's nice to know there's another one that I can connect with too. (Confession: every few months or so, I email the backup one just to say hi and make sure she is still there!)
You are SO not pathetic. I agree it sucks though.

Never been, if I thought ahead more, I would probably schedule a pdoc appointment during a T's long break, just to have an "in case" person to check in with. But they are focused on symptoms so I don't know how much help they could really be for feeling abandoned.

You're the second one on this thread who has suggested that. Maybe I'll bring it up to T on Tuesday and ask her what she thinks. It's also nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets into this state when T is gone.

Well, I asked my T today if I could see one of her colleagues while she's gone. She thought that was a very interesting request. Although she had never set that up before in her practice, she thought it would be a good idea.

I told her that I wouldn't be trying to work through all my issues with the substitute - only discuss attachment theory and separation anxiety with T. I told her I could bring literature about it to substitute T and we could have a nice comfortable analytical meeting.

I just want to feel some connection while my T is gone. So, she's going to ask her colleagues and I'm very curious if any of them are interested in a one-time meeting with me.

That's awesome

I saw a substitute when my T was on vacation. I see my T three times a week, so I miss her tremendously if she goes away. The substitute was actually a p-doc I had just begun seeing for meds who also does therapy. My T has her own, but I refused to talk to that person, especially since it was a male. I am SO glad I went to the p-doc. She was a godsend. Though she didn't know me really and her style was COMPLETELY different from my T, it was still comforting to have someone who cares listening to me and reassuring me.

My T is so awesome!!!! She made the effort to find my substitute therapist. Wednesday when I saw her she told me that the 2 therapists she had in mind were going to be gone the same time she's on vacation.

So, I told her, "Never mind. it's o.k. Don't make any more effort" She said she didn't mind making the effort and there was one more person in her office she would check with.

So, today she told me that she found the substitute T. All I had to do was sign a release form and I told her she could tell substitute anything she wanted about me. I feel so grateful that she went to that effort and that she'll be consulting with substitute about me. Man, that shows a bit of caring.

I can hardly wait to meet with substitute in 2 weeks. My T thinks it will be really good for me and she's excited about it too. I am happy now.

I wish the T my T uses for "back up" while she is away would see me. She is someone I know and trust a lot (took a class from her once). It would be nice to still have that "me time" even if my T is gone and we didn't do any work. OK that and I REALLY want to see what this Ts office looks like. But, T said I could only call her "back up" if it were a last ditch effort to stay out of the hospital and even then we could only talk on the phone. I hate phones

That is so sad. Why is your T opposed to you seeing someone else while she's gone?

Hey,

I am just coming to the end of my 2 week break. My T never offers a substitute as I see her privately so theres no collegues she works with etc. She would also think it's unhealthy that I couldnt survive 2 weeks without her I think..even though it is hard. But that's just my T and how most T I have experienced or heard about where I am from are.

I have seen substitute mental health workers when in crisis and stuff but I dont really find them that helpful to be honest, in fact some of them just made me feel worse at times...but this is just my experience.

I hate breaks in Therapy though and I know my T will have another one soon for her holidays probably 3 weeks long and then it wont be long after that, that she could end up dumping me completely anyway

Well, my T only returns phone calls if you are on your way to the ER too. Just her style of work. It bugs me every once in a while but usually her distance helps.

Also, unlike a lot of Ts here mine is not into the whole transference thing. My T uses a LOT of systems theory and likes to keep the relationship as simple as possible by keeping it just her and me. She doesn't do anything that would possibly encourage dependency either.

On the flip side she gives great hugs.