[learning1]

I think my t was imitating my facial expressions, or trying to. Does that make sense? Do t's do that? I noticed it because at one point he kept making a really exaggerated sad face (looked really exaggerated and strange to me). He kept switching between that and smiling as I talked about something positive or negative. There was one other expression I thought I noticed him imitating, but I can't describe it. I was vaguely conscious of it during the session and it was just giving me a weird vibe. Then later I thought he might have been imitating me or intentionally making exaggerated expressions. Has anybody experienced their t doing that? Am I imagining things? If they do it, what's it for?

[Protoform]

Originally Posted by learning1

I think my t was imitating my facial expressions, or trying to. Does that make sense? Do t's do that? I noticed it because at one point he kept making a really exaggerated sad face (looked really exaggerated and strange to me). He kept switching between that and smiling as I talked about something positive or negative. There was one other expression I thought I noticed him imitating, but I can't describe it. I was vaguely conscious of it during the session and it was just giving me a weird vibe. Then later I thought he might have been imitating me or intentionally making exaggerated expressions. Has anybody experienced their t doing that? Am I imagining things? If they do it, what's it for?

You are not crazy.

"Mirroring" is a tool therapists use in order to make patients like them:

http://www.body-language-secrets-rev...-language.html
mirroring body language secrets can be used as a tool for building rapport. Being similar or having someone similar in your vicinity creates a feeling of ease, comfort, being understood, protected (should there appear a threat of any sort, there's two of you now), etc.

So you can use the power of mirroring to create these feelings in the one you are mirroring. They'll then subconsciously link all those feelings to you (after all, you are the one actively mirroring) and rapport is naturally going to develop between you. How, whom and from where should you mirror body language? Whom - that's easy, the person you want of course! How to do it is by assuming the same posture, doing the same movements with your hands, in all respects using your body in a similar fashion to theirs.

A technique of creating instant rapport is by "faking" body language. When someone is interested in a discussion, they tilt their head slightly. When you know someone is interested, you could do the same to "simulate" you deep interest in what they say. And it works!

[online user]

Hmmm...does sound wierd to me. I'll be curious as to others' responses. I would suggest you should ask him the very same questions you have asked here. It might be, that he's trying to empathize with you, so wants to appear happy if you are saying happy things and appear sad if you are sad, so you know he is sympathizing with you. Probably would be good feedback for him that he's not seeming natural but more posed and affected, like his mimicking.

[learning1]

LOL. Thanks Protoform. I feel better if the intention of it is to make you like them, in spite of the fact that it was actually doing the opposite. It seemed like he was being fake. Oh well. I'm interested to hear if anyone else experienced this or has ideas about it too.

[granite1]

i don't talk much in T so my T comments often on my body posture and facial expressions but has never mimicked them i would also find that strange and very fake.i sit foward in my chair and i sit on my hands a lot i think T would look fummy if she tried to mimick this and i would know and start laughing

[dizgirl2011]

This also sounds strange to me, I would definately ask your T about this...or see if it happens in the next session at all and if it does then point it out as it happens and address it then.

I know Protocol brought up mirroring which does happen but mirroring and mimicking are different. Mainly mirroring is about reflecting the same posture or position...for example if a client sits with their legs crossed or facing a certain way the T mirrors this to try and make the client feel more at ease with them, it doesn't usually refer to copying a clients facial expression though, if a client is upset the T shouldnt look upset too - that would perhaps make a client worried the T cannot cope with the situation.

I think asking your T is the best idea

[PTSDlovemycats]

At first I was thinkning mirroring, but now I am not so sure...

This sounds really disconcerting! I'm training to be a psychologist, and we are taught about lots of ways we show people we are attuned to them, but it has to be subtle and somewhat natural. The point is that people do these things naturally anyway.

I do notice my T adjusting her communication to make it similar to mine. For example, when I started using smiley faces in texts, she started using them back. I'm sure she also uses some of my own words and phrases with me that she wouldn't normally use. It doesn't feel obvious though, it just feels attuned.

I vote for telling him you found it strange...

[ECHOES]

My T has done that too. Maybe more in the early part of my therapy. My response has varied from silent chuckling because I realized it was mirroring (and I relate that to mothers and infants) or internal eyerolling when I notice and it seems exaggerated and very 'not her'.

At one time there were sessions where she kept getting up and going outside the room very briefly to adjust the thermostat that is right beside her door. Several sessions she did this a few times during the session and so I asked her if she was "going away and coming back", like the toddler fingerplay of "Two Little Blackbirds (sitting on a hill)". But she said she wasn't that clever. I was reading a lot about attachment and child development at the time so that's where my mind was.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

At first I was thinkning mirroring, but now I am not so sure...

How come? Because of what dizgirl said?

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

This also sounds strange to me, I would definately ask your T about this...or see if it happens in the next session at all and if it does then point it out as it happens and address it then.

I know Protocol brought up mirroring which does happen but mirroring and mimicking are different. Mainly mirroring is about reflecting the same posture or position...for example if a client sits with their legs crossed or facing a certain way the T mirrors this to try and make the client feel more at ease with them, it doesn't usually refer to copying a clients facial expression though, if a client is upset the T shouldnt look upset too - that would perhaps make a client worried the T cannot cope with the situation.

I think asking your T is the best idea

He didn't look upset to the point that he couldn't cope. I wasn't talking about something that upsetting. And his expressions looked exaggerated or fake to me, not like he was genuinely upset. I don't know why else he would be doing it, 'cept Protocol's suggestion. Unless I'm being too judgmental about his facial expressions. I don't think I want to bring it up unless it distracts me again the next session, but if it's really distracting I guess I might have to.

[dizgirl2011]

Originally Posted by learning1

How come? Because of what dizgirl said?


He didn't look upset to the point that he couldn't cope. I wasn't talking about something that upsetting. And his expressions looked exaggerated or fake to me, not like he was genuinely upset. I don't know why else he would be doing it, 'cept Protocol's suggestion. Unless I'm being too judgmental about his facial expressions. I don't think I want to bring it up unless it distracts me again the next session, but if it's really distracting I guess I might have to.

It is possible he is mirroring in some strange way but just as 'Improving' is training in this area, I am also at the moment and have never heard of this form of mirroring. It is possible that his facial expressions were not a conscious reaction to you. hopefully he doesn't do it again during the next session

[WikidPissah]

I have no idea, but that would definitely irritate me.

[WePow]

My T does this. One time I played with him a bit to test my theory - I crossed my legs, he crossed his. I uncrossed them, he uncrossed his. I crossed my arms, he crossed his. I slouched down on the couch and he did the same. It was so funny!!
One day I laid down sideways on the couch with my head tilted over and he tried to tilt his head the same way but he has a chair! I almost lost it laughing if I wasn't hurting so much inside !!! T tries hard - I will give him that!

[lastyearisblank]

That is really weird. Maybe he is in mime school? I am kind of picturing it and it sounds just so awful. But hopefully the kind of thing that doesn't last long (how could a T do that for every patient???)

[lastyearisblank]

Originally Posted by WePow

My T does this. One time I played with him a bit to test my theory - I crossed my legs, he crossed his. I uncrossed them, he uncrossed his. I crossed my arms, he crossed his. I slouched down on the couch and he did the same. It was so funny!!
One day I laid down sideways on the couch with my head tilted over and he tried to tilt his head the same way but he has a chair! I almost lost it laughing if I wasn't hurting so much inside !!! T tries hard - I will give him that!

Lol so funny!!!!

[learning1]

Originally Posted by WePow

My T does this. One time I played with him a bit to test my theory - I crossed my legs, he crossed his. I uncrossed them, he uncrossed his. I crossed my arms, he crossed his. I slouched down on the couch and he did the same. It was so funny!!
One day I laid down sideways on the couch with my head tilted over and he tried to tilt his head the same way but he has a chair! I almost lost it laughing if I wasn't hurting so much inside !!! T tries hard - I will give him that!

hehehe. I was totally imagining doing this, except I know there's no way I could keep from cracking up at him- and I'm way too scared of him to do that.

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

That is really weird. Maybe he is in mime school? I am kind of picturing it and it sounds just so awful. But hopefully the kind of thing that doesn't last long (how could a T do that for every patient???)

Yeah, he should go to acting school before he tries this tactic again

[granite1]

i had a T once before my current one that did this sort of thing it drove me nuts.if i even found my voice enought to say one small thing.he would repeat it back to me all exagerated and stuff like that sounding really silly.i only saw him foe about 6 sessions before i left and started seeing the T i have now.i knew he would never be able to help me talk.

[skeksi]

My T does this, mostly I think because I have such a poor sense of my emotions. So I'll describe something painful, but I have a flat affect, very numb. He will wince and look pained and I'll think, Oh, maybe that was a hurtful thing that happened; maybe I might feel hurt?

I think you should talk about this with your T. I was afraid T was mocking me, or faking his reactions, but he explained to me what he was doing and why--showing his reactions to what I described--and then I felt more okay with it. Now I like it--it shows he's involved with what I'm saying.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by skeksi

My T does this, mostly I think because I have such a poor sense of my emotions. So I'll describe something painful, but I have a flat affect, very numb. He will wince and look pained and I'll think, Oh, maybe that was a hurtful thing that happened; maybe I might feel hurt?

I think you should talk about this with your T. I was afraid T was mocking me, or faking his reactions, but he explained to me what he was doing and why--showing his reactions to what I described--and then I felt more okay with it. Now I like it--it shows he's involved with what I'm saying.

Thanks skeksi! That's helpful to have another idea why he might be doing it.

[amandalouise]

learning - we use mirroring here both with the crisis center and on the mental health unit. unlike what another poster stated mirroring isnt used around here to gain a clients likeness of us or rapport. many of our clients have stuffed their feelings, shut their self off from their feelings for their survival, to fit in with the crowd that thinks showing certain feelings is for sissies and because they have been trained to accept being abused without emotion. example many of our clients were raised with the abuser giving them something to cry about if they cried or protested.

there are many therapy approaches that teach using mirroring to help the client put a word, or idea to how they are feeling. mirroring is also a great exercise in building a clients self esteme and self worth.

example many survivors of sexual abuse can sit in therapy and tell all about the trauma they went through without any emotion in their voices. you ask them how something made them feel they say they felt nothing. but yet their body language and facial expression says something different.

when that happens we show them what their body language and facial expressions are telling us by taking on that same posture and expression. when they realize how we look they pay attention to their own posture and facial expressions. this puts them back in touch with their own feelings once again.

talk with your therapist ask them why they are doing it. they may just be doing it to point out to you how you appear to them in turn get you to reconnect with your own body and emotions.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

learning - we use mirroring here both with the crisis center and on the mental health unit. unlike what another poster stated mirroring isnt used around here to gain a clients likeness of us or rapport. many of our clients have stuffed their feelings, shut their self off from their feelings for their survival, to fit in with the crowd that thinks showing certain feelings is for sissies and because they have been trained to accept being abused without emotion. example many of our clients were raised with the abuser giving them something to cry about if they cried or protested.

there are many therapy approaches that teach using mirroring to help the client put a word, or idea to how they are feeling. mirroring is also a great exercise in building a clients self esteme and self worth.

example many survivors of sexual abuse can sit in therapy and tell all about the trauma they went through without any emotion in their voices. you ask them how something made them feel they say they felt nothing. but yet their body language and facial expression says something different.

when that happens we show them what their body language and facial expressions are telling us by taking on that same posture and expression. when they realize how we look they pay attention to their own posture and facial expressions. this puts them back in touch with their own feelings once again.

talk with your therapist ask them why they are doing it. they may just be doing it to point out to you how you appear to them in turn get you to reconnect with your own body and emotions.

Thanks amandalouis. Well, this was my first time back there after a long time. I hope it was just trying to make me feel comfortable. The examples you're talking about are pretty intense, a lot more intense than what I was talking about in session. I can imagine t would want me to be more expressive though.

There are other things I think I need to talk about, so I don't know as this can be a top priority for next session, but if the expressions are distracting me again, maybe I will have to bring it up. Gah, I'm nervous and I don't want more stuff to have to talk about, but I kinda want to get an answer for all the helpful posters on here (and for myself).

[Transcending1]

It is indeed "mirroring." I noticed my T doing this from the first session. It's affect attunement, the bedrock of attachment theory. The therapeutic dyad is symbolic of a mother/infant dyad. Since most therapy patients didn't experience a "good enough" mother in their earliest attachment, the therapist attempts a corrective attunement through mirroring (another way of expressing empathy). The goal being a secure attachment relationship that alters a patient's internal working model, resulting in a greater capacity to form/maintain healthy relationships outside of the therapeutic context.

I also would change positions just to watch my therapist "mirror" them. Once, he was so slouched in his chair that it was nearly impossible for him to write. I must drive him batty at times!

I use facial expressions when genuine... I will have a sad face if I feel sad with them, happy if there is good news, etc.

Sometimes T's use facial expressions as a way to make the client aware of how they are presenting themselves. I had a client who had very incongruent affect. She would be talking about something sad, but her affect would be smiling and vice versa. Sometimes T's would use this as a way to clearly demonstrate to how they are responding to the clients story...

If it's something that's uncomfortable at all, I'd mention it and talk about it.

[Transcending1]

Originally Posted by stormyangels

Sometimes T's use facial expressions as a way to make the client aware of how they are presenting themselves. I had a client who had very incongruent affect. She would be talking about something sad, but her affect would be smiling and vice versa.

I've displayed an inappropriate affect during times when disclosing painful material to my therapist, even laughing on a few occasions. It's defensive, a way to alleviate tension and avoid connecting with painful emotions. If you can't laugh, you might just cry, right? Wish I could express myself that way, but I'm not there yet.