This is the last day of T's holiday. This evening's note from the calendar says:

"If you are feeling anxious about us reconnecting tomorrow, please think of the lovely story of the night when I stayed until late making your calendar with stories and memories and mindfulness and above all my love. I look forward to seeing you very soon. I feel a lot of love for you, T."

For the first time following a break, I don't feel anxious. Or ambivalent. Or like I was crazy to ever let myself love T. Through the calendar, T and her love have continued to exist and feel real and right. By T taking something of mine with her in her bag, I have felt certain that I continued to exist to her. The way we did it this time finally felt like enough.

you have such a great T!

[dizgirl2011]

Hi Improving,

It's great you don't feel anxious about seeing your Therapist tomorrow and I think you have done so well during the break!

I can only imagine how comforting it was to have the notes from your therapist during the break and to know she put so much effort into helping you get through the break in the most comfortable way possible.

I stil find it so shocking and confusing (just for me personally - this isn't a critcism on you at all) to hear a Therapist tell a client that they love them...but that is just because it's not something I have ever experienced and I do think Therapists were I am are more reserved. I think to have my T say that to me I would feel I have been given the best gift in the world and I can imagine you feel wonderful knowing your therapist feels so much of you!

I bet you will have a lovely session tomorrow

[granite1]

wow that made my heart skip.she does care about you a lot

Originally Posted by Improving

This is the last day of T's holiday. This evening's note from the calendar says:

"If you are feeling anxious about us reconnecting tomorrow, please think of the lovely story of the night when I stayed until late making your calendar with stories and memories and mindfulness and above all my love. I look forward to seeing you very soon. I feel a lot of love for you, T."

For the first time following a break, I don't feel anxious. Or ambivalent. Or like I was crazy to ever let myself love T. Through the calendar, T and her love have continued to exist and feel real and right. By T taking something of mine with her in her bag, I have felt certain that I continued to exist to her. The way we did it this time finally felt like enough.

I cannot believe how thoughtful your T was/is.

dizgirl, yes, I can see why it would feel shocking and confusing. I guess for me, an important distinction is that she doesn't say she loves me. She says 'I feel very loving towards you' or 'I feel a lot of love for you' and that feels quite different to what people in my real life say to me, and what she says to people in her real life, which makes it feel safe and boundaried for me.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Improving I am so happy that the calendar that your T made for you while she was away worked so well for you. You have an awesome T!!

[SpiritRunner]

I am so happy you are so loved, that your T is so loving and is so honest with you about her love for you and that it is enough for you!