[granite1]

i guess it is about relationships,a person at my work who i have always have looked up to as one of my superiors did what i see as some strange stuff.i think she is wanting to be friends(God that sounds so child like).anyway she has always bee very nice and helpful to me.she is one of the few people i am willing to talk to at work.she is always coming to my department to help,asks how i am doing and is always checking up on me etc...i always thought it was just because she was the one who brought me to the hosp when i had a major panic attack and couldn't breathe etc...,today i went into her office to show her something i thought she might be interested in.suddenly she said "granite i have some more questions to ask you"she got up and closed the door(FREAKED ME)she than started to just talk about stuff about another girl employee and a guy etc..just gosip...like she was just a good friend of mine.i didn't know how to deal.I'm so pathetic...i was so shy and speechless even when people i like are trying to get to know me more i am so stupidly scared and suspicious.
just wondering if others feel this way about befriending people and do they talk to there T's about it and do they help with teaching one how to sustain a friendship that i feel is way out of my league.i do feel a friendship with this person is way beyond me.she is the employee rep in charge of dealing with employee problems and hiring etc..kind of like human resources etc...she did give me a promotion .but i am afraid to be her friend.what if she finds out I'm just a jerk maybe it could end up interfering with my job.are these kind of relationship problems things you all talk about with T'S

[*doodles*]

Yes, I talk about that kind of stuff with T. Not so much since we started the trauma work, but probably once a month or so, our session focuses more on "current issues". I think you should bring it up, because it could give you and T insight into WHY you are that way(I think it always helps to connect current problems to their route) and how to change it, etc. It could be really beneficial!

[SpiritRunner]

I do talk a lot of relationship stuff with T, about with my friends, my H, and so on. She has lots of helpful things to give me in that too, ways in which my patterns are affecting those relationships, things I can do to improve communication, resolve issues, etc. SOrt of 'life coaching' I guess.....current issues stuff, too.....

[granite1]

she would probibly say you just need to talk to people

[*doodles*]

Then that's not a very good T! What makes you think she would say that? Is she not usually very understanding?

[BlessedRhiannon]

I talk to my T about that kind of stuff, yes. She's always very helpful about providing feedback or just letting my bounce my thoughts off of her.

[sunrise]

Yes, I talk about stuff like this with my T.

Originally Posted by granite1

she would probibly say you just need to talk to people

Maybe not. That doesn't sound like a very T-like response. Why don't you give her a chance to respond and tell her? Maybe you will get some useful comments from her!

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Yes, I talk about stuff like this with my T.
Maybe not. That doesn't sound like a very T-like response. Why don't you give her a chance to respond and tell her? Maybe you will get some useful comments from her!

i agree!

[whoswho]

Yes, I spend a lot of time talking about how to socialize with people and how to make small talk with my T.

[rainbow8]

Yes, I talk about those kinds of problems with my T. You can talk about ANYTHING with your T! It might be easier for you to talk about something like that than your other stuff, so I think it's a good idea to try.

[Elli-Beth]

Yes, we talk about it. My past issues strongly affect how I interact in current relationships, and not just close ones, but even how I deal with being in line at the store.

[nannypat]

Yes, I talk to T about making friends, relationships, anxieties about relationships etc. frequently.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by granite1

i didn't know how to deal....i was so shy and speechless even when people i like are trying to get to know me more i am so stupidly scared and suspicious.

teaching one how to sustain a friendship that i feel is way out of my league.i do feel a friendship with this person is way beyond me.

what if she finds out I'm just a jerk

Talking to your T about this would be very good. Talking about your reactions and where they are coming from and why you feel she is out of your league and why you feel that you are a jerk. It could be a very productive session.

And yes, this is how I did a lot of healing. I would find things in RL that I wasn't handling very well and talk about them/problem solve them in therapy.