I think I need to stop coming here. Reading other people's posts seemed so helpful...to see I wasn't the only one suffering from the same things....but now...

they just have seemed to set me off towards a very dark, scary, sad place....

Now I have to paste on my happy face and go away for a long weekend with my hubby, kids and in laws

[Flooded]

I totally understand and I'm pretty sure that is the reason my pdoc didn't want me coming here, but ultimately, the posts are just words on a screen written by people I will never meet hidden behind a desk so I don't let them affect me.
It's how I cope

[mixedup_emotions]

My T told me that anything that I read that sets off different kinds of emotions can only be helpful tools in therapy that are worth addressing. He encourages me to be curious about the feelings. It's hard not to be swallowed up by them though.

[Indie'sOK]

I can understand that too. I think it's a lot of give and take...give support and encouragement and suggestions, take away some of the same. With me, reading others insights into the therapeutic relationship has benefited my own in that I've become aware of my more vague, subtle feelings when others have shared about the same ones, causing me to realize mine to a greater extent.

[arcangel]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

I think I need to stop coming here. Reading other people's posts seemed so helpful...to see I wasn't the only one suffering from the same things....but now...

they just have seemed to set me off towards a very dark, scary, sad place....

Now I have to paste on my happy face and go away for a long weekend with my hubby, kids and in laws

Maybe you should make a list of the type of posts that you feel had this effect. If you have a therapist you could discuss that list and the significance of those posts on your thoughts and emotions. Might be some good insights there.

[jazzy123456]

most things in life need moderation.

Zero moderation will make you MADDD...

too much of anything can be bad for you...

Also, its what you CHOOSE to read,
you don't have to read everything.

Also, you don't have to read anything if you don't want too,
you can just post.

I've taken a long break from PC before because, like you,
I know I needed it.

but, it didn't last forever...
because, without a doubt, I know PC is a unique
place to share details of my therapeutic relationship.

And truthfully, I don't think you can ever understand what someone goes through in a therapeutic relationship if you've never experienced it yourself. most people in my life haven't...

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I agree that sometimes reading about others and their struggles can get you down.

I know that PC offers great support and advice, but if you spend too much time reading all the negative things about therapy, it can affect you.

Its not the discussions on negative things about therapy that affect me...those make me appreciate my T. more...its the content of some of the posts...not just this forum but some of the other forums. I think I follow the suggestion to write a list of the subjects of the posts that had such a disturbing effect on me to talk with my T. about...

[Open Eyes]

Well, it can depend on what forums you enter. Yes, some of the forums can be uncomfortable if the type of issues someone else is addressing is not the same as yours. I typically just read in the areas where I can understand certain issues and post supportive messages that I feel may help. I have often found that when I do so it reaffirms my ability to continue to address my own issues.

You are new to PC and it can have that overwhelming effect if you start reading the other issues that people who have an issue that you clearly do not understand.
And I have felt that way too sometimes but I take what I can learn from others and if I have a helpful concept or thought that I think may help another person I post.

You are addressing your issue, do not forget that. You cannot take on the issues of another person that may just be over your head. It is knowing where you feel the most comfortable. And you can meet nice people here. People who have similar issues as you do, and sometimes are similar but worse than you. I have found that to be the case with myself. But I have definitely gained by coming to PC and reaching out and learning.

Open Eyes

[dizgirl2011]

Hey there,

I think it all depends on your triggers and were you are mentally and emotionally and if you feel being part of the forum at the moment isnt for you then its a good thing to recognise that and take a step back. It doesnt mean you cant always come back when you feel better able to cope

x

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Well, it can depend on what forums you enter. Yes, some of the forums can be uncomfortable if the type of issues someone else is addressing is not the same as yours.
You are addressing your issue, do not forget that. You cannot take on the issues of another person that may just be over your head. It is knowing where you feel the most comfortable. And you can meet nice people here. People who have similar issues as you do, and sometimes are similar but worse than you. I have found that to be the case with myself. But I have definitely gained by coming to PC and reaching out and learning.

Open Eyes

I'm feeling better now...i think what is difficult is when you have had feelings/thoughts/circumstances for a long time that you've never been able to tell someone about cause you couldn't even put it in words...and you read something someone writes and its like they r talking about you...on some levels very helpful...also triggering lots of emotions...

Thanks for all the responses.

[lastyearisblank]

If you had told me before joining this forum that I would be joining a public website to write about my innermost thoughts about my journey in therapy, I would have been like YOU'RE KIDDING ME. It really, weirdly has helped though even though I couldn't tell you why!!

Originally Posted by Readytostop

I'm feeling better now...i think what is difficult is when you have had feelings/thoughts/circumstances for a long time that you've never been able to tell someone about cause you couldn't even put it in words...and you read something someone writes and its like they r talking about you...on some levels very helpful...also triggering lots of emotions...

Thanks for all the responses.

I can relate to this (((((((readytostop)))))))

It helped me when I first came (and still helps me now) to stay on the Psychotherapy forum....I didn't have the coping skills and I hadn't worked through enough of my own stuff to spend a lot of time on other forums without getting triggered. When I came, I was really just trying to figure out HOW therapy worked, because I had never been in therapy before, so it helped me to read here.

Sometimes, even this forum can trigger me and I just need to step back for a while. And it's okay.

When we are new to thinking about/talking about/feeling this stuff, it can get really overwhelming, really fast. Be extra gentle with you, and be sure to take breaks. Write stuff down so it doesn't bounce around in your head endlessly. Try to look around the room you're in and name things you can see and hear and feel and get grounded in NOW, because no matter how triggered we are, if we can find ourselves in NOW it can help.

Thinking of you! I know it's hard.

[mixedup_emotions]

It's a little ironic....My last post about feeling ok and then BAM something small triggers me.....was about something I read on PC....that set me spiraling....Even though it doesn't feel good, it stirred something up within me that needs to be brought to the surface in therapy....so that's a positive thing, even if it feels yucky....

[Open Eyes]

Readytostop,

That is a really good point. When I came to PC, I really didn't know what to expect.
I had never done anything like this before. All I knew is that I was really struggling and I needed support or to talk to others like myself. And in the beginning I had a similar concern as you do now. I had a couple of bad experiences and it was different than anything I knew. But I had made a few friends and as I am a determined individual I just tried some more knowing that I could leave if I wanted.

One of things I did want to know is where my own issues were. So I just started posting and letting myself hang out there and see what happened. I also did a lot of reading in my areas of concern. By reading and then meeting others I learned more about my issue than I had read and I also began to notice more of my own TRIGGERS. What that meant to me is that gave me the opportunity to see what did bother me so that I could work on being more aware of these Triggers and try to overcome them. And when I came here I didn't even know what a trigger was.

But I did know things bothered me from time to time. So in effect it gave me a bigger opportunity to see my own issues in a different light and actually work on those issues. And the other thing that helped me was that as I would post to the concerns of others I also learned my strengths and weaknesses in the way I deal with issues and perceive them. PC has been a really good place for me to learn that.
It was also a place to come and releive stress as I would come and read and reply and read again and reply etc. This process slowed my brain down and it was a way of working out stress and anxiety as well as draw my attention away from my own issues and ongoing circumstances.

Just give it time and come when you need it. There is good supportive people here and whatever forum they are in they are trying very hard. It has helped me get through a very difficult time in my life. I have met some really nice people here that have helped me better than any therapist I have encountered. Will you see issues that are very troubling to you? Yes there are people here that are really struggling in more difficult circumstances than you and me. And as you get to know some of them you too will be compelled to offer your own support. It is like one big world of support here and everyone here is learning and trying and not everyone is going to do it the best, we are all learning and trying. Well, you are unique ReadytoStop and you are going to have your own unique way of using PC. And as your name says you are ready to stop and that means ready to HEAL.

Open Eyes

[Chronic]

I relate also. Sometimes I wonder what I would without the insight of others on this forum. I have found it to be incredibly helpful and I feel less of a freak when others understand where Im coming from. On the other hand I do get triggered quite a lot by others experiences whether it be things they are working on in T or with their experience of the T relationship. For that reason I dip in and out of PC regularly. But I do find it invaluable.

[sittingatwatersedge]

This snip is taken from another thread but it pointed out what is (to me anyway) one of the important and unique functions of PC (thank you again, Doc John!)
.... IMO, whatever helps us to open up in therapy is valuable.

>> I wasn't going to touch that topic with a 10 foot pole, but talking about it here makes doing so more and more tempting...