[DelusionsDaily]

Hey all. I really need to get this out. I have an appointment with my therapist thursday. I recenty had some memories come up about the days leading up to my hospitalization in March. The memories arent good ones as my hospitalization was for sui depression...severe I would say. If I tell her and this is new information I am afraid that it may change the way she views or handles me when I am sui. Im getting huge knots in my stomach just considering the idea of telling her. I really have to tell her though because I am not handling them well by myself. Grrrrrr!!!! I hate this kind of stuff.

[Xeneon]

Any good T, will take you how you are and if she knows you well it won't matter how she treats you. She will treat you like she does now. You have to trust that she knows what shes doing. I'm gladed your willing to tell her. It will be a great help for you. Take care and good luck to you!!!

[Elli-Beth]

My T was awesome when I told him about remembering stuff that led up to my breakdown. He said it really helped him understand how to better help me. It was totally scary but it felt better to share it with him than to deal with it alone.

[sittingatwatersedge]

(((((((((((( melissa ))))))))))) the memories came up, that's good! but it doesn't follow that you have to force yourself to tell them right now - or ever. When you are ready to tell, you will know it.

just a thought, you might just tell T this - that the memories came up but although it seems impossibly hard to tell them, you feel you should, and why you feel you should; and the two of you can look at how it's so hard sometimes, and why so hard, and maybe that will take some of the pressure off.
remember, you go at your own pace. Forcing (including forcing yourself) is not a good idea.

sending peace to you for yr session on Thurs .... want a pocket rider? I will come along if you want

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

Im getting huge knots in my stomach just considering the idea of telling her. I really have to tell her though because I am not handling them well by myself. Grrrrrr!!!! I hate this kind of stuff.

When I feel like this, I almost ALWAYS feel better after I tell...maybe not right away, but eventually. The fear of telling is always worse than the telling itself (but knowing that doesn't seem to make it any easier!).

I like what sawe said...whenever I am scared to tell T something, I tell him I need to tell him something but I am too scared and we talk about the fear. Right now I have something that is too scary to say, and we have literally been talking about the fear for at least the last 5 sessions....but it's okay, because every time we talk about it, I feel a little relief, and I know I am a little closer to being able to talk about it.

I'm sorry it feels so scary. That "knot in the stomach" feeling is the worst.

[DelusionsDaily]

Thanks everybody I really appreciate it. I had some really wierd dreams/nightmares about telling her. I dont normally get like this about telling her anything because I do totally trust her. I gotta figure out a way to tell her thanks again everyone

[SilentLucidity]

Have you considered sharing your dream/nightmares with your T? A lot of Ts like dream work and it might be a way for you to begin talking "around" those memories without actually saying what they are yet.